


Aloners

by PuffyKoala



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Angst, Apocalypse, Bottom Eren Yeager, Cute Eren Yeager, Dust Bowl, Eren Is a Tease, Fights, Gore, Human Experiments, Humor, Levi Is A Dork, M/M, Mindfuck, Mpreg, Mutie - Freeform, Nice Levi, Not that grumpy Levi, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Plot Twists, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Smart Eren Yeager, Survival, Swearing, Tall Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Temporary Amnesia, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Torture, Violence, bandits, based on a otome game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 61,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5893168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuffyKoala/pseuds/PuffyKoala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren wakes up in the middle of an apocalypse with an gun to the head. He and Levi try survive the <br/>everday-apokalypse life. But what if life is a bitch and tries to ruin the lucky pair along the way? And can they unravel the truth of their existence along the way?</p><p> the AU (based on the otome game called ''Aloners.'') where Levi finds Eren in the Apocalypse, even though he thought that he was the last human alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can You talk?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, new readers and hi to the guys who read this fic as soon as it came out, like, a few weeks ago.  
> So by accident someone klicked on ''delete work'' and now 12 chapter of aloners are gone, just like the wonderful comments of the readers. I'm really sad about it, especially since I don't have every chapter saved on my Laptop. I'm sorry guys, I will try to get most of the chapters back on here as soon as possible. Thank you! ♥♥♥

I jolt awake.

My body is heavy and unresponsive. I hear nothing but the ringing in my ears. I try to open my eyes but can’t. I can’t remember anything. After uncountable moments, enough sensation returns to my body be able to feel something soft on my back. I’m laying on a bed.

The ringing slowly fades, leaving me in silence. Again I try to open my eyes this time more successful (more or less). It feels like starring into the sun. Hot enough to melt my eyes. I immediately snap my eyes shut.

I take deep breaths until the pain turns to numbness, I try to remember again.

I remember walking by the sea.

Remember the people passing by, enjoying the summer sun.

Remember the boy who almost run into me while trying to catch a frisbee.

Remember my phone ringing.

It was an unknown number.

Suddenly I’m back in darkness, laying helplessly on the bed. I can’t see anything but the world is spinning. My min collapse in itself, the darkness getting even darker.

I’m drowning in unconsciousness and can’t do anything about it.

* * *

 

When I finally woke up, I was coaxed by a deep and smooth voice.

‘’Mornin’ sleepyhead’’

This time my eyes fly open. But I Barely have time to take in the shack I seem to be in, instead I lock  my eyes with the silver-blue  ones of the man standing above me, gun pointed strait to my forehead.

I bolt upright. He doesn’t even flinch – just keeps his gun steady with narrowed eyes and a small smirk playing on his face.

‘’Well, isn’t this just improper? A pretty boy sleepin’ in MY bed and I don’t even know his name: What would my mom say? I guess she’d probably say to blow your brains out before you get any dumb ideas.’’

This guy is definitely going to kill me.

But I’m not the type to go down without a fight. Offense is the best defense as they say.

I launch myself on the guy and tackle him backwards.

‘’ Shit! ‘’ We both fall but he takes the worst of it, his head cracking loudly against the hard floor, even as he coils in pain, he never let’s go of his gun.

Taking my chance, I run for the door.

Bursting through it I get outside…..

And stop.

There was nothing, no street, no building, no people, the only thing that is there is an endless horizon of dirt and rocks. There was just ….. nothing

‘’Thanks for waitin’. ‘’

Sharp pain spreads from the back of my head, making me fall onto my knees, gasping.

A big and rough hand grabs the back of my neck, keeping me in place. The cold muzzle of the gun pointed on your head again, at the center of the pain.

‘’In my whole life I have never seen one of you guys run like that before. Sorry to be such an hardass, but I can’t let you just comin’ and goin’ whenever you please. Don’t fancy getting’ gutted in my sleep, you understand.’’

The moment stretches into an eternity in which all I can do is just kneel and wait for death.

But after a while, I realize that it’s not the adrenaline or fear making the time seem to stop. The guy with the gun….is hesitating?

‘’…. Any last words?’’

I open my mouth, but can’t say what I want to say. The only thing that I get is a small gasp. And suddenly I’m aware of the raw and flaming pain in my throat.

…oh no. I… I can’t speak.

I can sense the guy moving from behind me and open my eyes.

Now he is standing in front of me, gun pressed to my forehead. He is starring down at me with a wild expression, thin brows knitted together like he is trying to figure out a complicated question.

And the next thing he says makes me frown in confusion

‘’Hey, gimme three fingers.’’ He continued staring at me. I was so confused but still did as I was told and hold up three fingers and with that his eyes widened and for a moment I thought they would fall out of his eyes.

‘’…….’’

‘’…Fuck’’

‘’Fuck. Fuckballs. HOLY SHIT.’’

He leaned in until his nose was touching mine. I could feel my face going red. His eyes where fixed on mine, as if searching for something. All I can do is stare back, breathless, waiting. And whatever he is searching for… he seems to have found it.

‘’You’re… Human.’’

Slowly he lowers the gun and steps back. Backing away, in unsteady steps, he makes his way back into the shack.

‘’You… should come in. Have a look at the bump on your head. I… I promise I won’t hurt you.’’

With that he disappeared back inside. I slowly get on my feet and look around. The wasteland stretches for miles, as far as the eye can see, empty and foreboding.

* * *

 

After some time of mindlessly staring I follow the guy inside.

‘’C’mere and turn around’’ He gestures me over and makes me turn around and puts his large hands on the back of my head, parting my hair to have a better look on the damage done by his gun mere moments ago.

‘’Well… good news is that it’s not bleeding, bad news, there is a second head growing back here.’’  He says, a little amused. When he let’s go I turn around just in time to see him spin around, facing away from me.

‘’ ‘kay, my turn! What’s the damage?’’

I reach up to his silky black hair, parting them to find quite the bump. But no blood.

‘’Well, Doc? Will I survive?’’ He turns back around and I give him a thumps up with a small nod

Moments ago he wanted to kill me and now we are checking each other for wounds, I am so confused.

 ‘’That’s good then. Heh, we really did a number on each other, huh?’’ he said with a quiet chuckle, for what I couldn’t help but feel weak for.

‘’……’’ ‘’So…now that we know that you are not dying…you wanna maybe…put a sheet on or something?’’ He said, and why is he blushing….  why should I put on a Shee-

Following his eyes and look down on my body and just then noticed that I am split naked.


	2. The World We Live In Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After putting some cloths on, Eren realizes in what world they actually live in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you ryokachan01! You literally saved this fic! I'm forever in your dept. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

A painful gasp escapes my throat before I crouch down, not daring to look up to the guy, _come to think about it, I don’t even know his name._

‘’Erm… look I wasn’t tryin’ to… ugh, never mind’’ he turned his head the other way and pointed to his bed where a plaid blanked was laying, I quickly grabbed it and covered myself with it then sat as far away as possible from him

‘’Man…’’ he murmured and run a hand through his black hair.

‘’So what’s your deal? You really can’t speak?’’

I try to answer but can only feel pain, so I just shook my head.

‘’Huh. so, what, have you always been mute?’’ I shake my head. My confusion must be easy to see.

‘’Hmm…Oh! What an idiot! Sorry, been a while since I’ve got a guest, I’ve become a lil’ rusty.’’ _Just what is with this guy? Is he always like this?_

‘’ahem, you can call me Levi, and what can I call you?’’ _oh so he’s Levi? Hmm, it suits him, but how am I supposed to tell him my name?_

I Look up to him helplessly, not being able to even tell your name to someone is so frustrating.

‘’Right, can’t talk, hmm…’’ he thinks for a moment and then started to browse through some boxes, pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil

‘’that should help.’’ He gives me the pencil and paper and I immediately know what he wants me to do with them. I scribbled my name down and hand him the paper, he takes it and stares down onto the paper, mouth moving as he sounds out the letters

‘’Er-een… Eren?’’ I nod.

‘’Heh, yeah. I like it. It suits you.’’ _Whoa, why am I feeling so giddy? Only because he said he likes my name._

We stared at each other for a while ‘’Hey… Um, I’m sorry. About earlier. I thought you were one of them. I never… I never met someone who couldn’t talk who wasn’t one of them, you know?’’

His words make no sense. Who are them? But I have no way of asking him to explain.  _Nothing makes sense! This isn’t where I was. This isn’t… This isn’t the world I live in._

Panic starts to stir. I have soo many questions, and no way of getting answers. Where am I? What is going on? Why the fuck was I naked? I feel so lost. So utterly helpless and alone.

I feel… I feel….

**_Grrrrrrrrrrnnnnghhh_ **

‘’….. Was… that your stomach?’’ that’s when it hits me. I am so fucking hungry.

‘’oh, I get it. You want bed and breakfast, do ya?’’ I look down in embarrassment, feeling my face burn. Levi just laughs it off ‘’ Well, there are worse noises you could make. Gimme a sec.... Let it never be said that your ol’ pal Levi is an ungracious host.’’

He started rifling through some boxes stacked against a wall, after a moment he pulls out a tin and eyes it before he tosses it my way. I catch it before it could smack me in the face. It’s a can of Spam, classic style. The label is faded and peeling. It’s clearly many, many years past it’s expiring date. I try not to think too deep into it.

‘’dig in.’’ I just hold the sealed can in my hand and give Levi a look.

‘’ Oh! Right, shit, sorry’’

_He is such a dork but an adorable one at that- wait what??_

He grabs a knife from the shelf and takes the can from my hands. Piercing it in one motion and separating the lid in another, he give me the can back. The food looks surprisingly edible, maybe as edible as when it went into the can.

Possessed by an incredible hunger that no longer can be denied, I dig chunks of the meat one by one with my fingers and swallow them in big gulps. I can’t even taste them, and when there was nothing left, my stomach still felt pretty empty. I wipe the meat juice from my face, and can’t help but suck it from my fingers.

Suddenly I’m aware of Levi staring at me, mouth slightly open and eyes wide.

‘’… Daaamn. You must have been pretty hungry, huh?’’ Now that I’m thinking straight, the shame creeps in. It’s just as loud as the hunger still screaming in my belly.

‘’Tch. Are you satisfied now?’’ I shoot him a look and the answer must be plain on my face- Not at all. Shaking his head with a smirk he grabs another can – apricots this time – and opens them for me.  
He watches me wolf down my dessert without even an attempt of hiding his amusement. 

‘’ Okay, babe, that’s gotta be the last one for now. These things don’t just grow on trees.’’  _Did he call me babe just now???_

He suddenly pauses, thoughtful.

‘’… Or do they? I mean, I guess they did once?’’ I can’t answer him in my state, but it doesn’t even look like he is talking to me anymore. It’s a conversation with himself. 

‘’Or did they come out of the ground? Like potatoes, right? ‘’ 

He continuous to theorize about apricots, and I find his smooth voice cutting in and out as exhaustion washes over me. The food seems to have calmed the jidderish in my belly but has left me sluggish and heavy, as if everything that happened since I woke up suddenly weights down on me. 

‘’H-hey! You okay?’’ I can’t answer, can’t even sit anymore. My eyes are getting heavier until I’m not being able to hold them open any longer.

‘’ Are you kiddin’ me? Asleep again, already? Well, whatever. I guess you can stay, for now….. Looks like I’m takin’ the floor.’’

I can hear him talking by my ear and it’s the last thing that I hear before I’m in darkness yet again.

* * *

 

If I had a dream, I wouldn’t remember it. 

Waking up the third time is less traumatic than the first and second time. It only takes me a moment to remember where I was.

The little Hut, the wasteland sprawling outside. And the guy who almost killed me. 

With that in mind I realize that Levi is nowhere to be seen, but I notice the paper pinned to the wall beside me with a knife. The message is scratched on to the paper with a pencil:

GUD MONING

GON 2 WORK BAK BEFOR DARK

MAKE YORSELF ~~BREAK BRI~~ BEKFUST

BUT DONT TUCH MY STUF

DONT STEEL MY STUF

STAY IN BED + SLEPP!!!

P.S.  
AND 4 GODS SAKE PUT SUM CLOTHS ON

I silently snicker about his writing. I see some cloths laid out at the foot of the bed. It is a green tank top and a pair of camo pants with some wool socks and brown combat boots. The clothes didn’t really fit since he is about two sizes bigger than me but it’s better than nothing.

The note said to help myself with breakfast. I looked through the box where Levi pulled the cans out yesterday and all I find in it are more cans with peeling labels. I look for something else but come to the conclusion that there is nothing else. But what’s really offsetting is that there is nothing of electrical nature at all.

The huge barrel by the door is half full of water. I am not sure if it’s safe to drink but my throat is still burning, so I scoop water in my hand and drink anyway.

At first glance it looks really messy but when you look close enough you can see that there is  
some kind of organization in here, the food cans are in boxes in one corner and different kinds of wood and metal are separated into different piles. There is a table standing against the furthest wall from the bed, covered in scrap metal and broken machinery.

After observing the shack, I head outside.

From outside it’s clear that the shack is a jumble of wood, metal and heavy sheets reinforced here and there by large pieces of scrap.  
All around the shack, in every direction is, an endless desert of rocks and dirt stretching in the horizon. it’s hot out here – a very dry heat – and the sun beats down merciless and burning.

This place is weird; wrong – unlike anything I have ever seen.

Yet here I am.

For a long time, I don’t move, just stand here and look at the gray rocks and yellow dirt. Waiting. For an answer. For anything. But when the heat gets too much for me I head back inside.  
Inside I lie down and just let my mind wander.

By the time it got dark Levi returned.

‘’ Call off the search party, babe. I’m back.’’

I look up and muster Levi. Unlike yesterday he was now covered in oil and dirt. He had a big backpack slung on his back that clattered with every step he took. He empties it over the table and a bunch of metal junk fell out.

  
‘’Man. What a day.’’ With a sigh he took of his boots and the goggles he keeps on top of his head ‘’ohhh, yeah. That’s better.’’

  
He moved to the barrel, grabbed a rag, dipped it into the water and started to clean himself. I don’t want to lie but he does smell pretty bad.

  
‘’ So, what did you get up to today?’’ he looked over to me and must have seen how I scrunched my nose because he stopped in his tracks.

  
‘’ What is it?’’ I just shook my head as if to say ‘nothing, nothing’

  
‘’Nah, come on. You must have some kind of bug up your --- Oh. Wait, I get it. ‘’

  
He smirks and spreads his arms wide ‘’I know it’s gross. But it’s normal, nothin’ wrong with some manly musk. You know you can have some of it if you want.’’ his smirk morphed into an evil grin and he slowly walked up to me. My face twisted in horror and I tried to get as far away as possible from him. He seems to get bored of it after a while, so he dropped his arms to his sides and went back to cleaning himself up.

While he cleaned he muttered to himself.

‘’Honestly…come into my home and starts tellin’ me, I smell bad? Tch.’’

  
Without a warning he grabs the hem of his white tank top and yanks it over his head, folding it neatly and putting it aside. And there he is, in all of his half naked glory.  _Damn he is fucking ripped. And HOLY SHIT is that a EIGTHPACK!?!?_

It’s then that I can finally appreciate his looks. He is Tall, at least a head and a half taller than me. He has really pale skin, surprising by this climatic environment. He had a sharp jawline, his mouth set in a slight frown, a small nose and the most honest part of his body, his eyes, they are narrowed and their blue-silver color makes you feel as if you are drowning in them. His ebony black hair is really silky. It’s styled in a undercut and parted a little off center making the strands fall over his forehead.

‘’ You know, I just have so many questions for you, Eren. Wish you could answer them.’’ He continues cleaning himself

  
‘’So many questions… Like, for instance, just where the hell you came from.’’ _Yeah I would like to know that too._

I know that this isn’t my world, because in my world there are televisions, running water and food that doesn’t come out of a can. There are dinners spend with family, coffees shared with friends, High buildings, and the wide sea that --

  
_Wait, there is one clear memory. Or at least it feels like a memory._

‘’…. sea….’’

‘’Hmm, what was that?........ did you just ---?’’

‘’… S-sea…. Blue….’’

Each word hurts so much as it scraps its way out of my throat. But now that it started, I can’t stop.

‘’ …Beach… Birds….. People…… Life…’’

‘’Is that supposed to be a joke?’’ Levi run a hand through his hair with a sigh.

‘’Jesus… Look, babe. I dunno where you hit your head, but no one has seen the sea or a green tree around these parts for, like, I dunno. How long has it been? Thirty-seven years? Thirtyeight?’’

The sinking feeling in my belly gets so intense its physical, and I can’t help but curl around the pain.

‘’Where am I?’’

‘’In my shack.’’

I shake my head, frustration bubbling through my body. _Why is it so difficult to just ask?_

‘’WHERE. AM. I?’’

‘’… The Dust Bowl.’’ The annoyance in Levi’s face deepens. When he speaks, his voice takes on a sharp edge.

‘’You know? Dust Bowl? Ground Zero? The Bombs? Fire? Screaming? Red cloud? End of the fucking World? Any of this ringin’ some bells, sweetheart?’’

‘’…..’’

‘’…. I don’t get you. Maybe you’re not one of them and maybe you can talk but you sure as shit not right in the head.’’

I just stay crouched and silent, unable to speak or move. I get the feeling that if I did I would…. End up punching him.

‘’… For now, you should focus on gettin’ your strength back.’’

There’s no anger in his voice, just a weariness.

‘’Let’s just…. Let’s just take this one day at a time, okay?’’

As if to signal the end of the topic, he slaps the washcloth down on the barrel and starts tugging down his jeans.

‘’ Okay, the free show is over. Turn around, you pervert.’’

I choose to go outside, Leaving Levi to his privacy. Now I had time to calm the turmult in my

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be updating everyday..... and be careful when I want to ''add'' a chapter XD


	3. What to Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awww yet another traumatic moment for Eren ;-;  
> And Holy Shit! Is that a heart wrenching moment i see there !?  
> Hope you like it :3 ♥♥♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a while! I was sick and couldn't look on a screen long enough before my vision gets blurry.  
> Thank you guys for the support on the fic though! It makes me really happy to know that you enjoy it so much! ♥♥♥

The day’s pass and, with every sunrise, each day I feel a little stronger.

My voice returns but I spend only a little time talking with Levi. The few conversations are mostly about the same thing and not very helpful. I have stopped trying to explain my position to him - all attempts ended in failure and mutual confusion. We mostly tolerate each other’s presence and keep to ourselves.

Every day, Levi leaves at first light, bags strapped to his back. He returns at dusk - Sometimes burdened by junk and supplies and sometimes empty handed, but always covered in dirt.

This morning I wake up to him moving around the shack, preparing his packs for another outing. I stay with my back on the bed. I ask him to take me with him every other day but he would say that I’m still not strong enough, so I will just wait for the door to slam shut and start my day.

''...Oof! '' My eyes fly open when something landed on my stomach.

It's a backpack, empty luckily, but still pretty bulky.

'' Heh, sorry, but it's time to get up. I'm doing something fun out there today. You wanna tag along?''

'' Definitely!'' I looked up to him with excitement, _finally getting out of this hole!_

'' You've been cooped up for too long. Bet your legs are itching for some exercise. You see, I was thinkin' ... whenever I find cool stuff out there, I have to choose what looks the best and leave the rest behind. Breaks my heart sometimes. BUT if you're with me, I can bring back twice as much. I'm a genius, right? No need for an answer - your face says it all, I'm a genius. ''

I just roll my eyes at that.

After ten minutes we are ready to set out. Levi puts the goggles on top of his head and slips his backpack on. I already carry my backpack filled with only a flask of water, a rope and a flashlight. ( Levi got batteries for them)

'' Let's go''

* * *

 

The sun is hot today, or as hot as it always is? Either way it doesn't take long for my pace to slow down bit by bit, until Levi turns around and starts walking backwards just ahead of me.

'' This isn't a date, gorgeous. You got a settin' that's faster than strollin’?'' he said with a slight frown.

_Did I mention that he likes to give me pet names? No? He likes to give me pet names._

'' Sorry, I guess I'm not used to this.'' I huff out.

'' Look, I know it's tough, but you gotta learn how to deal with it out here, and you gotta do it fast. 'Cause who knows when a patch of cloud's gonna blow in or some muties gonna show up, or whatever, you know? So I can't take it easy on you. It's nothing personal. Don't even think about it as an insult......I just don't want you to get hurt.'' he whispered the last part to himself so I couldn't hear him.

''When I say, ''Move it!'' I really mean ''Let's not get killed today!''

We both continue at Levi's unforgiving space, but something he said is stuck in my head.

''So... what's that thing you mentioned earlier?'' I look up to stare at his back in front of me.

''Hm?'' He turns around and walks backwards again.

''Muties?'' _That's what he said, right?_

Suddenly Levi stumbles '' What are you talkin' about?'' he had a bewildered look on his face.

'' No Fair - I asked you first!'' I pout.

''You... You.... What the fuck? From what kinda wonderland did you come from, you don't know what a mutie is? Maybe you call them something different? Well, the red cloud - you know what the red cloud is, right?'' his sarcastic tone suggests that it's not a serious question, but one look at my face has him almost sputtering in disbelief.

''That's the cloud. See it?'' his arms gesture to the horizon. I squinting my eyes and covering them from the sun, I notice something new about the distant sky - when you look far enough you can see the pale blue start to blend into a dark pink color. I take a 360° Panorama and see the reddish thing span the entire view.

''That's the cloud?''

''It's far away, thank god, but that can change in minutes. And if you get caught in that smog, well, that's pretty much your ticked to mutie-hood. So, you know, let's not get caught.''

'' So, the cloud is toxic? And muties are... what? Sick humans? ''

''Don't - Don't call them that. They are not humans. Not anymore.'' this conversation makes Levi frown deeply. Obviously a sensitive topic. Better not to ask too much too fast, but...

'' And why do you call them muties?'' I honestly don't want to know the answer ''Because they are mutated?''

'' Well, they are not - not normal. But they are called muties because they....'' He averts he's eyes from mine ''...they can't talk. That's how you can tell when a person is turning. Words are always the first thing to go''

''...and you thought I was a mutie. Because I couldn't speak.'' It slowly starts to add up. _The reason he held a gun to my head was, because he thought I was a mutie?_

‘’Yeah, sorry about that. I was stupid. Should’ve known somethin’ was off from the start. I mean, since when is a mutie smart enough to lift the latch on a door?’’

That’s another thing that left me wondering. _Why doesn’t Levi have a lock on the door?_ _Is he not scared that someone could steal his precious supplies?_

‘’ What about other people? Don’t you care if they could get in?’’ Levi stopped abruptly, making me run right into his chest.

He stares down, right into my eyes.

‘’Eren… There are no other people.’’

‘’what?’’

‘’ You’re the first person I’ve met in six years. If you don’t know anyone else out there, I think it’s safe to say that we are pretty much alone.’’

I feel like the air in my lungs has been sucked out. _Why is everything new I learn about this place worse than the last thing?_

Levi opens his mouth but closes it shortly after, as if he just doesn’t know what else to say. So, eventually, he turns around and starts walking again. I follow him on numb feet. We walk for at least an hour, until my legs feel like jelly and my every breath comes out in a labored huff.

Finally, I can see something other than rocks and dirt. It’s a large building surrounded by rubble, just a small way ahead.

‘’Okay, we are almost there. Let’s pick up the pace.’’

* * *

 

Judging by the amount of debris, there were once more buildings here, but only this one remains standing and more or less intact. Big chunks of concrete lie scattered across what once must have been a parking lot. Levi just steps around them and heads straight to the building.

‘’So, this is how it’s gonna go. You’re gonna stick close to me. You’re gonna listen to every word I say. If I tell you to do something, you do it. That’s how we are not gonna die today. I think I can trust you to be smart, but I have to make sure, okay?’’ He made a dead serious face.

‘’Sure.’’ He smirked at that.

‘’Good boy.’’ He’s face went from deadly pale to crimson red ‘’… Uh, sorry. That was kinda… I just meant… good. That’s good. Thanks. Right, let’s get started then.’’ I can’t help but laugh at his expression, to what he shot me a glare that softened after some time.

So we head in, not through the door, but through a hole in the wall. Inside it’s plain to see that this building used to be a factory. Parts of the roof are laying around and it seems like there used to be three levels, if you go by the completely destroyed staircase. Sunlight is purring in from the many huge holes in the roof.

Levi gets immediately to work – sifting through the many piles of junk. And he has an expression on his face that I have never seen on him before, while he is searching in the piles for something that he could use. He looks… so at ease. He seems to have fun looking for new stuff . Maybe he is naturally just curious. _Somehow reminds me of a cat_. While I stare at his profile, he starts to talk again.

‘’This is one of my top favorites spots. I mean it’s pretty much picked clean – mostly by me – but I thought that this would be a safe place for your first scav. But you know… the ‘safe’ part bein’ relative.’’

 _We came here even though there is probably nothing, just because he worries about my safety?_ He can be a pretty asshole, but when I think about how he worries about me, I feel something warm spread in my chest.

I start to wander around. Levi looks up every now and then, but gets back to scavenging. _Seems like he doesn’t care what I do right now_. _Maybe he doesn’t expect much of me?_ I keep looking around, taking in the whole damage done over the years. _How long did he say it had been? Thirty-eight years?_ The whole end of the world thing starts to get undeniable. Levi hums to himself as he stuffs pieces of scrap into his backpack. The happy little tune echoing from the walls. I lean my head against a wall and close my eyes. He’s in his element, but nothing here means anything to me.

‘’Hey, Eren.’’ I walk over to Levi’s side. He stands with his head craned to the ceiling. Following his eyes, I can see a long coil of hose looped around a strut.

‘’You think I can get up there? I could really use the hose.’’ He looks over to me. Looking back up, I search for a way to even get there, and the only way is to climb a metal beam and balance your way on the thin strut.

‘’There is no way that you could, you are probably too heavy. But I could make it.’’

‘’ It’s too dangerous, I won’t let you get up there and break your neck or some shit. It’s not that important anyway.’’

‘’ Oh come on, Levi. I can do it.’’

‘’No.’’

‘’ Levi, just give me a boost and let me get the hose for you, damn it!’’ Levi lets out a loud and long sigh, as if he already knew that I wouldn’t leave until we got this stupid hose.

‘’ You are such a determent little shit.’’ Levi cupped his hands and gave me a boost, halfway to the vertical beam. It’s not a graceful climb but I somehow manage my way up to the horizontal strut and hoist myself onto it. Levi looks really small from up here. My arms are burning and I realize that I am still not by my full-strength.

‘’Eren, you are doing good. Just take it slow.’’ Slowly, I start to slide along the strut, towards the coiled hose. When I made it to the center the hose was within reach.

_**GROAN… …** _

Well, that doesn’t sound good.

‘’Eren.’’ I go still. And after some silent moments

_**… GROOOOAAAAAN…** _

The sound of protesting metal fills my ear. ‘’Eren! Forget about the hose! Just get back here!’’ I start inching backwards, try to get back to the beam and climb down.

‘’That’s right… careful…’’ _So close!_

_**GROOOAAAN…** _

‘’AH!’’

‘’FUCK!’’ I feel myself slipping from the strut. It’s like in slow motion. My finger only grabbing on air and I feel myself falling backwards.

**Thud**

I open my eyes and the first thing I realize is that I am still alive, and the second thing…

‘’Ow, Fuck… ‘’ I leap to my feet. Levi is still laying on the ground, probably winded from breaking my fall.

‘’Are-are you okay?’’

‘’Am I-?! I am just peachy, don’t mind the bruises, what about you? Are you okay? I shouldn’t have let you get up there. You obviously weren’t ready. I’m sorry.’’ I feel like shit. Not only did I make Levi catch me and get hurt but now he must really think that I’m not able to do anything.

‘’Okay, that’s enough flying for today. Let’s head back.’’ He starts zipping up his backpack.

‘’Go ahead. I’m just gonna get my stuff together.’’ Happy to get the hell out of the factory I leave. I walk on unsteady steps out into the parking lot, stopping when I suddenly realize… …there is someone out here.

A man stands, in shaddy clothes, at the edge of the building, around the corner of the hole I used as an entrance and exit. He leans against the wall, face pressed into the brick. I freeze and start backing up immediately.

And the man is not as out of it as it seems. At the movement, his heads snaps up and his gaze falls on me. _He doesn’t look… right._ All of a sudden he’s gone from standing to an all-out sprint, heading straight towards me. There’s no reason in his eyes, just a feral kind of expression- … He’s a mutie.

‘’LEVI!’’ I turn around and run, screaming for Levi, but the mutie is too fast. The mutie crashes into me, and I fall onto the asphalt. He perches above and snaps at me like a wild animal, like a hungry animal. I have my hands under his chin, pushing his head away. He uses his own hands not to hold me down, but to claw at me instead. His movements are aggressive but clumsy, and spit flies from his mouth trying to bring his teeth closer…

**BANG!**

The mutie gets still at the gunshot, then leaps to it's feet and starts charging at…

‘’Levi!’’ Levi fires again, putting a bullet into the muties shoulder. It barely slows the creature down. It collides with Levi and sends him flying backwards just like it did to me. The gun goes flying too, clattering across the ground, and landing by my feet. As Levi wrestles with the mutie, I pick up the gun. I see Levi grabbing a broken piece of concrete in his hand. He smashes it into the side of the muties head, then pushing himself of the ground, eyes darting around in search for another weapon. In mere seconds the mutie is no longer dazed, and stares at Levi with ravenous eyes.

I feel the gun, heavy in my hands. _There’s no time!_ I take aim and shoot.

**BANG!**

By some miracle, the bullet hits its target. Straight in the head. Levi wastes no time. In an instant, he is on his feet.

The gun drops to the ground. Adrenaline courses through me; my entire body is shaking.

‘’Hey, Eren.’’ I can hear Levi’s voice, but it sounds so far away.

‘’Eren, listen to me. Are you okay?’’ I stare at the dead body bleeding out onto the asphalt. I don’t say anything. There are no words for this. That’s a dead man right in front of me. He was alive and now he’s dead.

‘’Eren. Look at me.’’ _…Oh. When did Levi get so close to me?_ He cups my face in his hands and looks, unflinching, into my eyes. I can’t stop myself.

‘’…I killed him.’’

‘’ _It_. Not him. Not a person. A monster.’’

‘’……’’

‘’You saved my life.’’

‘’……’’

‘’Eren? You saved me. Thank you.’’ Levi embraces me in a bone crushing hug, and I hold on to him tightly, afraid that he would disappear if I didn’t. After a few minutes we pull apart. Slipping his gun back into his jeans and hoisting his backpack onto his shoulder, he holds his arm out in invitation. I re-secure my backpack and nod once.

‘’Come on.’’ He gives me a soft smile.

‘’Let’s go home.’’ With that, Levi and I turn around and started walking.

We both, side by side.


	4. Sleeping Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning in Levi's Pov :3 ♥  
> Hope you like it!♥

**Levi's PoV**

 

**BANG! BANG!**

Another two shots and the fucker are down. _Can’t believe they found me! Even though I had the perfect hiding spot! Oh well, doesn’t matter anyway_.

Today wasn’t that much of a good day. First I don’t find anything useful and then a group of muties decide they want a piece of me for breakfast. _I guess I should head back then._

I gather my stuff and set out to get back to the shack. It was a normal day, like always. Shooting some muties, look for supplies, that’s what I did for the most part of my life.

_Man I really miss Kenny sometimes. Even with his shitty remarks, it would somehow make the day a little different, since he was so creative with his death threats._ I snicker to myself when I remember the old times. Now I am just some 28-year-old guy, talking to himself.

Soon enough I am back at the shack. _Home, Sweet, Home. Maybe I will eat some meatballs with beans toni- SHIT!_

Just when I was about to head in, I noticed that the door is slightly ajar. Instinctively I pull out my gun and take stance. Those assholes won’t give me a break. I slowly and quietly make my way into the shack.

And the first thing I notice makes me go stiff. There, on my bed, lies someone. _No, there are no other people, this must be something._ But at least I can tell that it's a boy. Step by step I approach this thing.

Now I stand directly above him and look into his sleeping face. To be completely honest, he's really beautiful, doesn’t look deformed, not filthy, no peeling red skin, only a soft tan that actually makes his skin look sweet, long eyelashes, messy dark brown hair, that reminds me of the one and only time I ate a chocolate bar when I was six. He doesn’t look like anything I saw up until now.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?! I can’t fantasize about a beast that would probably love to rip me into little pieces._

While I’m trying to get to my senses, the boy starts to stir. _Shit, here it comes._

‘’Mornin’ sleepyhead.’’ He snaps his eyes open, sitting upright and I have to hold onto all of my self-control not to let out a gasp. _What is that color? Blue? Green? And what are those gold specks??_

He locks eyes with me, and I can feel a shiver run down my spine. He looks so... terrified.

‘’Well, isn’t this just improper? A pretty boy sleepin’ in MY bed and I don’t even know his name. What would my mom say? I guess she’d probably say to blow your brains out before you get any dumb ideas.’’

And then something happens. His eyes narrow and the terrified expression changes to a determinant one. _Huh, not bad._

All of a sudden he launches himself on me and we both fall backwards.

''Shit!'' My head connects with the ground, hard. While I coil in pain, he makes a run for the door and get's outside. _I have to get him, before my only home left gets swarmed by these bastards._ I stand up and run outside and see the boy staring into the wasteland.

''Thanks for waitin'.'' I hit his head with my gun, what makes him gasp and fall onto his knees. I grab him by the neck to hold him in place and point the gun to his head.

‘' In my whole life I have never seen one of you guys run like that before. Sorry to be such an hardass, but I can’t let you just comin’ and goin’ whenever you please. Don’t fancy gettin’ gutted in my sleep, you understand.’’

But what strange is, that he didn't try to rip out my throat. Why? And the way he run away. It had a purpose, a destination, he run for his life. I want to make sure and ask him the ultimate question.

''... Any last words?'' _please answer, please answer_.

He opens his mouth but the only think that comes out is a small gasp. He goes stiff and starts to shake. _Did he try to answer just now?_ He doesn't move, just kneels before me. I let go of his neck and go around him, to stand in front of him and I hold my gun to his forehead. He opens his eyes and there it is again. The color I have never seen once in my life. I knit my eyebrows together. _Is he human or one of them?_

''Hey, gimme three fingers'' I stare down at him. He frowns confused but holds three fingers up anyway. _No way, no fucking way._

''......''

''... Fuck.''

''Fuck. Fuckballs. HOLY SHIT.'' I lean in until our noses are touching and stare into his beautiful eyes.

''You're... Human.'' I take a step back and lower the gun. _I can't believe it._ I head back into the shack, in a daze.

''You... should come in. Have a look at the bump on your head. I... I promise i won't hurt you.'' _I hope he won't hate me for this._

* * *

 

After a while he comes inside.

''C'mere and turn around.'' I tell him. He turns around and I part his soft brown hair, that has a gold-like shine mind you, and look at the spot where I hit him with my gun. A rather big bump is growing but luckily there is no blood.

‘’Well… good news is that it’s not bleeding, bad news, there is a second head growing back here.’’ I let go of his head and turn my back on him.

‘’ ‘kay, my turn! What’s the damage?’’ I feel his hands parting my hair carefully.

‘’Well, Doc? Will I survive?’’ I turn around and he gives me a thumbs up and a small nod. _So cute - What?_

’'That’s good then. Heh, we really did a number on each other, huh?’’ I try to put him at ease with a small chuckle, but honestly I think it's because of the awkwardness.

And then it hit me, _Oh shit, he is naked._ It's not that I mind it but I think he doesn't even know that he is naked.

‘’……’’

‘’So…now that we know that you are not dying…you wanna maybe…put a sheet on or somethin'?’’ I can feel my face burning.

He follows my eyes and his eyes became even bigger as they were before.


	5. That's How I See You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's continue Levi's PoV of the story, shall we? :3

He gasps and crouches down.

‘’Erm… look I wasn’t tryin’ to… ugh, never mind’’ I turn my head away and point to the bed. _Hope he knows what I mean_.

When I turn back to him again, I see him in the furthest corner from me.

‘’Man…’’ I ran a hand through my hair. _He really must hate me. But I can’t blame him, since I was the one trying to kill him. Good way to go Levi, make the first person I met in years think I would kill them._

‘’So what’s your deal? You really can’t speak?’’ He seems to try but only winces in pain, so he only nodded.

‘’Huh. so, what, have you always been mute?’’ He shakes his head. He looks up and I could tell it right from his face. _‘What’s going on?’_.

‘’Hmm…Oh! What an idiot! Sorry, been a while since I’ve got a guest, I’ve become a lil’ rusty.’’ He only raises an eyebrow. _God, why is so hard to talk to someone?_ ‘’ahem, you can call me Levi, and what can I call you?’’ He looks over to me helplessly. _Someone kill me already, what is it with this guy and his puppy-dog eyes?!_

‘’Right, can’t talk, hmm…’’ I think for moment. _There must be a paper and pencil somewhere._ I look through some boxes and find what I am searching for.

‘’that should help.’’ I give him the two things and he immediately writes down his name. He hands me the paper and it takes me luckily only a little time to make it out.

‘’Er-een… Eren?’’ His face seems to light up and a small smile makes its way on his face. And honestly his name fit’s him just perfectly.

‘’Heh, yeah. I like it. It suits you.’’ At that he had a little blush on his face. _How did I even get the idea of killing this innocent person? I’m a real asshole, huh?_ I stared into his beautiful eyes for a while.

‘’Hey… Um, I’m sorry. About earlier. I thought you were one of _them_. I never… I never met someone who couldn’t talk who wasn’t one of them, you know?’’ He titles his head a little to the side in question and then makes a really conflicted expression.

**Grrrrrrrrrrnnnnghhh**

‘’….. Was… that your stomach?’’ _wow that was loud._ ‘’oh, I get it. You want bed and breakfast, do ya?’’ he looks down, with a crimson red face. I can’t help but laugh at his reaction. _How long has it been since I had so much fun?_

‘’ Well, there are worse noises you could make. Gimme a sec.... Let it never be said that your ol’ pal Levi is an ungracious host.’’ _What does he like to eat?_ Looking for something that he would like, I pull out a can of some kind of meat stuff and throw it to him.

‘’dig in.’’ He shoots me a look and holds up the can.

‘’ Oh! Right, shit, sorry’’ _Ugh, he must really think I am an idiot now._ Grabbing my knife, I take the can from his hands and open it for him. As soon as I give him the can back, he starts shoving chunks of the meat into his mouth.

‘’… Daaamn. You must have been pretty hungry, huh?’’ normally I would be disgusted but something about this brat is different. ‘’Tch. Are you satisfied now?’’ His look says it all and I can only smirk at that, I grab another can of fruits, open it and hand it to him. Just watching him wolf down the apricots is somehow really amusing.

‘’ Okay, babe, that’s gotta be the last one for now. These things don’t just grow on trees.’’ And then my goddamn deep thinking mind strikes again

‘’… Or do they? I mean, I guess they did once? Or did they come out of the ground? Like potatoes, right? ‘’ when I look back up to him, he is hunched over and has his eyes closed.

‘’H-hey! You okay? Are you kiddin’ me? Asleep again, already? Well, whatever. I guess you can stay, for now….. Looks like I’m takin’ the floor.’’

Spreading some blankets beside the bed I lie down. _What a fucked up day._ Waking up the next morning I immediately started preparing my backpack, but every few minutes my eyes wandered back to the brat sleeping in my bed. _Maybe I should leave him a note? And some clothes._

**-Time Skip-**

‘’ Call off the search party, babe. I’m back.’’ Coming back to the shack, I see Eren laying on the bed. He looked up and observed me.

‘’Man. What a day.’’ I take off my shoes and my goggles ‘’ohhh, yeah. That’s better.’’

The first thing I do is clean up. ‘’ So, what did you get up to today?’’ I look over to Eren and he scrunched his nose while looking at me.

‘’ What is it?’’ he shook his head. ‘’Nah, come on. You must have some kind of bug up your --- Oh. Wait, I get it. ‘’ _oh no, he doesn’t think what think he thinks-_-_ I spread my arms wide out ‘’I know it’s gross. But it’s normal, nothin’ wrong with some manly musk. You know you can have some of it if you want.’’ _Revenge_. His face turned into pure horror at my gesture and he tried to get as far away as possible.

‘’Honestly…come into my home and starts tellin’ me, I smell bad? Tch.’’ I can feel the brat’s eyes on my back, what makes me smirk to myself. ‘’ You know, I just have so many questions for you, Eren. Wish you could answer them. So many questions… Like, for instance, just where the hell you came from.’’ _Yeah, where does he come from? Why was he laying on my bed? Why I can’t stop thinking about his wellbeing?_

‘’…. sea….’’

‘’Hmm, what was that?........ did you just ---?’’

‘’… S-sea…. Blue….’’ I look over to him in complete shock. _What is he talking about?_

‘’ …Beach… Birds….. People…… Life…’’

‘’Is that supposed to be a joke?’’ I just couldn’t believe it.‘’Jesus… Look, babe. I dunno where you hit your head, but no one has seen the sea or a green tree around these parts for, like, I dunno. How long has it been? _Thirty-seven years? Thirtyeight?’’_

_What is it with him?!_ I just stare at him and he looks about ready to cry…or punch me?

‘’Where am I?’’

‘’In my shack.’’ He shakes his head again.

‘’WHERE. AM. I?’’

‘’… The Dust Bowl.’’ _What the fuck! Does he even know what I am talking about?_

‘’You know? Dust Bowl? Ground Zero? The Bombs? Fire? Screaming? Red cloud? End of the fucking World? Any of this ringin’ some bells, sweetheart?’’

‘’…..’’

‘’…. I don’t get you. Maybe you’re not one of them and maybe you can talk but you sure as shit not right in the head.’’ He looks so hurt and he definitely tries not to punch me.

‘’… For now, you should focus on gettin’ your strength back.’’ _I’m too tired for this shit._ ‘’Let’s just…. Let’s just take this one day at a time, okay? Okay, the free show is over. Turn around, you pervert.’’ Instead of turning around he heads outside.

**-Time Skip-**

'' What are you talkin' about?'' _How can he not know?_

'' No Fair - I asked you first!'' He pouts and if it weren’t for the situation I would think it is cute.

''You... You.... What the fuck? From what kinda wonderland did you come from, you don't know what a mutie is? Maybe you call them something different? Well, the red cloud - you know what the red cloud is, right?'' He still looks confused.

''That's the cloud. See it?'' He looks to where I am pointing.

''That's the cloud?''

''It's far away, thank god, but that can change in minutes. And if you get caught in that smog, well, that's pretty much your ticked to mutie-hood. So, you know, let's not get caught.''

'' So, the cloud is toxic? And muties are... what? Sick humans? ''

_He really doesn’t know_. ''Don't - Don't call them that. They are not humans. Not anymore.''

'' And why do you call them muties? Because they are mutated?'' _I really don’t want to say it but he has the right to know._

'' Well, they are not - not normal. But they are called muties because they....'' I avert my eyes from his

‘'...they can't talk. That's how you can tell when a person is turnin'. Words are always the first thing to go''

''...and you thought I was a mutie. Because I couldn't speak.'' _At least the brat is smart enough to add everything together._

‘’Yeah, sorry about that. I was stupid. Should’ve known somethin’ was off from the start. I mean, since when is a mutie smart enough to lift the latch on a door?’’

‘’ What about other people? Don’t you care if they could get in?’’ _or not that smart either_.

‘’Eren… there are no other people.’’

‘’what?’’

‘’ You’re the first person I’ve met in six years. If you don’t know anyone else out there, I think it’s safe to say that we are pretty much alone.’’ I turn back around and start walking again.

**-Time Skip-**

_This was such a stupid fucking idea._

‘’Eren, you are doing good. Just take it slow.’’

_**GROAN…** _

_Not good._

‘’Eren.’’

_**GROOOOAAAAAN…** _

‘’Eren! Forget about the hose! Just get back here!’’ He starts sliding back to the beam.

‘’That’s right… careful…’’

_**GROOOAAAN…** _

‘’AH!’’

‘’FUCK!’’

**Thud**

‘’Ow, Fuck… ‘’

‘’Are-are you okay?’’

‘’Am I-?! I am just peachy, don’t mind the bruises, what about you? Are you okay? I shouldn’t have let you get up there. You obviously weren’t ready. I’m sorry.’’ _Eren could have died and it would be my fault._

‘’Okay, that’s enough flying for today. Let’s head back. Go ahead. I’m just gonna get my stuff together.’’

**-Time Skip-**

‘’LEVI!’’

_Fuck._

I ran outside to find a mutie laying on top of Eren, trying to chew his face off.

**BANG!**

I shoot out of reflex and then the mutie bolts up and runs towards me

‘’Levi!’’

I shoot again but it only hit its shoulder.

He crashes into me and send me flying backwards. I wrestles with the mutie, Luckily I get a stone in my hands and smash it in the side of his head. While the mutie is dazed I search for my gun but can’t find it. The mutie charges at me again.

**BANG!**

I leap to my feet and hear the gun drop to the ground. I turn to Eren who is mindlessly staring at the dead mutie. He is shaking.

‘’Hey, Eren.’’ No response.

‘’Eren, listen to me. Are you okay?’’ No response.

‘’Eren. Look at me.’’ I grab his face and make him look up to me.

‘’…I killed him.’’

‘' _I_ _t_. Not him. Not a person. A monster.’’

‘’……’’

‘’You saved my life.’’

‘’……’’

‘’Eren? You saved me. Thank you.’’ I embrace him as hard as I could and he held on to me just as tightly. After a few minutes we pull apart. I slip my gun back into my jeans and put my backpack on. I hold my arm out for Eren.

‘’Come on.’’I gives him a soft smile. ‘’Let’s go home.’’ Never thought I would be saying this ever again in my life. _Just what does this brat to me?_


	6. More Questions Than Answers? Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some quality time with my baby's *-* ♥♥♥  
> But this is only part one ;)♥

The walk back to the shack was long and silent.

I'm exhausted and just want to lie down. My feet are heavy and all I can do is drag myself to the door. I still can't get it out of my head: the weight of the gun. The man's - that creatures dead eyes staring at me. Being dead, the eyes looked so... human. Right now I can't think about anything more than Levi's bed. There is no greater luxury than to sleep in that semi-soft bed for me.

Levi starts opening the door.

''...Hey.'' He stops, the door barely open.

'' Are you... forget it. Let's just get inside and kick off our - MOTHERFUCKER!''

''What's wrong?'' Levi doesn't answer. In fact, he doesn't seem to hear me at all. His hard gaze is fixed on the door. Or past the door, inside the shack. Drawing his gun he slowly slips inside and as I try to follow he holds his hand out to stop me.

''Stay outside, only come in when I say so.'' His eyes still don't meet mine. As soon as he is in, I hear him mutter '' What the fuck?''

My curiosity got the better of me and I see why Levi had such a confused tone in his voice. _It's a total mess!_ Piles of equipment had been toppled over, scattered across the floor. One of the food boxes has fallen and the cans are everywhere. But the shack is small and there is only one corner where an intruder could hide, so it doesn't take long for Levi's aggressive expression to turn into one of pure confusion.

''Were we robbed?'' he was eyeing the cans on the floor.

''Mutie burglar?'' I suggested.

''... ... ... Heh.'' He just shakes his head at that. ''This doesn't make any sense. It doesn't even look like anything's missing. Someone just went fucking nuts in here. A mutie could have got in but it wouldn't have been smart enough to close the door behind itself.''

He bends down and starts picking up the cans. I crouch down and help him put everything back into the box. A nasty surprise awaits under a can of sliced pineapples.

As I reach for the next item, instead of metal, my fingers wrap around something soft. Something with fur. Something that used to live. I look down at the rat in my hands.

''...Huh? Hey, Levi, look at this.''

''What is it?'' He stops what he is doing and turns around, to find a rat held directly to his face.

''AAGH!'' He knocks it out of my hands while flailing around, falling backwards in surprise.

''Wha-What's wrong with you, you psycho!? Don't you wave dead animals in front of MY face! Jeez... give it here.'' Levi takes the rat by it's tail and inspects it with critical eyes. ''Flat as a... as a flat thing.''

''Pancake.''

''huh?''

''Flat as a pancake.''

''...what's a pancake?''

_OH MY GOD, HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS._

'' Oh my poor, little, Levi.'' I patted his head out of sympathy, fake crying to show my shock of having learned that he never tried a pancake.

''Tell me later. I have another moment of genius here. I think this guy came in here looking for food and as he found it... death by delicious avalanche.''

''The poor thing''

''I guess. I mean, it's not how I would choose to go. Well, let's hope it was quick. Okay, little buddy. I know just what to do with you.'' Levi takes the body outside, probably disposing it far away from the shack. But when minutes tick by, I see myself drawn outside after him. There is a small fire pit, not far from the front door. I've seen it before and wondered what kind of food Levi cooks over it. Well, now I know.

The pit is softly glowing with the awaking flames , Levi crouching beside it in the middle of... field dressing the rat.

''You're cooking it?'' He looks over his shoulder with a smirk.

''Hey, your choice. Head or ass?''

''What if it's diseased?''

''Tch, you worry too much. Come on, I'll give you the ass. Of course, the ass tastes like ass.''

''And the head tastes like ass too?'' I shot back.

''Hey, that was going to be my shitty ass joke! Look, fresh meat isn't something you come by every day. So butch up and join my little barbecue.'' I feel the hunger rumble in my belly. _Can I do this?_

''Okay, I will try it.'' Levi's face lits up.

''Atta boy. Let's eat out here today, yeah? Go wash up and I will finish here''

''yeah, okay.''

* * *

 

Some time later we sit side by side at the fire , Levis goggles rest on the ground beside him. I'm worried that the cooked rat would look like, well, like a cooked rat. But Levi handed me a handful of sliced meat, what actually looked like normal beef.

''Shame it wasn't bigger.''

''Seemed pretty big to me. Biggest rat I've ever seen, anyway.''

''What? Nah, it was practically a baby. Sometimes, if you're lucky, you get a rat this big.'' He gestured with his hand.

''The size of a ...''

''Chihuahua?''

''A what?''

''A chihuahua. It's a small dog.''

''... say it again.''

''Chihuahua.''

''Chee-wow-wa. ...Heh. You are shittin' me.''

'' It's also a place.''

''Nice try, babe. I'm onto you.'' We eat together in silence. When I was done, I had to remember Levi's face when he saw the rat. I can't help but laugh to myself.

''Heh. What is it?''

''It was so funny. You said, ''Eek!''

''Wha-'' Understanding draws to his face, and he pulled his lips into what can only be called a pout.

''I didn't say 'Eek!'. I said somethin' really manly. And brave.''

''Uh huh''

''Anyway, you're the little psycho going around and shoving dead animals in people's faces. I don't know how you can sleep at night.'' He grins and I find myself grinning back. It feels good to joke around, after all what happend.

''Jeez. Feel free to stop laughin' at me at anytime now.''

I feel full, sleepy and peaceful. I will sleep good tonight, I just know it.

* * *

 

_I remember walking by the sea._

_Suddenly my phone starts to ring._

_It was an unknown number._

_I remember white, so blinding it burned._

_Cold tiles, blistering air and every part of my body felt like it was on fire._

_Where am I?_

_WHERE AM I?_

_WHERE -_

'' - am I !?'' I'm awake.

The shack is dark, only the pale moonlight shining through the tiny cracks and holes in the walls.

''Wow. Must have been some dream that got you breathing this hard.'' Levi's soft voice cut through the silence.

''Now, the question is, was it a bad dream or a very, very good dream?''

''...bad.'' A shudder rips through me.

''...Wow. So yeah, definitely a bad then.'' My eyes adjusted enough to see him sitting at the table, illuminated by the faint yellow light of the flashlight. The beam is directed at a pile of tools, scrap and a very familiar looking device.

''...a CD player?''

''Huh? Listen are you okay? Were you dreamin' about...uh, before?''

_before? Well it did feel like a memory._

''Jeez. How many times do I have to tell you? There's no reason to let the guilt eat away on you.''

_Oh. He is talking about what happend at the factory._

''...that's not it.''

''Hm...okay, then. Do you wanna talk about it?''

_I really don't. Or is it that I can't?_

''...''

''Hey, do you know what this is?'' Levi picks up the CD player and brings it over, he sits crosslegged on the rolls of blankets that make up his sleeping place.

''I have been workin' on this baby for a long time now, but I just can't bring it to do anything.''

''Well, it's a CD player.''

''Oh, right, okay. You wouln't know what it does, would you?''

''It plays CD.''

''Okay, one more question and you can probably guess it... what's a CD?''

''It's like a flat circle that can play music or movies.''

'' Oh, really.'' he stared down at the CD player in wonder. ''Sorry, for keeping you up like that.'' he scratches his head in the awkwardness '' We both should get some sleep, huh?'' Putting the CD player aside, he lies down.

It's an odd feeling, sleeping side by side on different levels. I could hear how Levi's breath evened out, gradually getting closer to sleep.

''It's really strange.'' It was me who broke the silence first. Levi turned over, rested on one elbow and looked up to me with gentle eyes.

''What do you mean?''

''Well...'' I take a deep breath '' One moment I am a normal person, living in the normal world - '' Levi snorts at that. '' - the _normal_ world, and then everything gets fuzzy. And then I am here. In this place. In some stranger's hut.''

''Naked.'' My face burns at that memory. ''Aw, are you being all cute up there?'' I narrow my eyes and glare at Levi, who only smirks as response. Once again the shack fills with silence. I open my mouth to say one last thing, but Levi beats me to that.

''Hey, you really don't beat yourself up for what happend, back in the factory?''

''I'm fine. Really.''

''...really?''

''Really, truly.''

'' Okay, good. Because I was meanin' to tell you something.'' he takes a deep breath ''You can't be weak. I sort of have this philosophy. Some of it I was taught and some of it I worked out for myself, but here is the bottom line. Survival is everything. The only difference between me and the poor fuckers who died out there in the dust bowl is, I was lucky enough to make it that far. And then there's you. The lucky old you, who survived when no one else did. The way I see it, is that we owe it to the others to keep going. No matter what. This world is not for the muties, it's not for the rats or cockroaches or the cloud. It's ours . And I promise you that I will make sure that you won't have to shoot anyone or anything ever again. Not when I am around.'' That's seems to be the end.

And I'm so touched. So touched that he worries about me so much. He didn't have to take me in, but he did anyway. He is a good person.

* * *

 

**Teaser for the next chapter**

''Where are we going anyway?''

''It's a surprise.''

* * *

 

''Come I will help you.''

''... thanks.''

* * *

''Where are you going!? Eren get back here!''

No response.

'' Fine! If you want to get killed, then go, I don't care!''

* * *

''Oh god, Eren, are you okay?  Come on let's get out of here.'' I took his hand.

''Let's go home.''

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OooooOOoOOOOoOOOoOohhhOOoOooOOoOOOOoooOOOO MY POOR  
> BABY EREN!! ;-;  
> what will happen in part two ?


	7. More Questions Than Answers? Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 :3 Did you lik the teaser? ;) ♥♥♥  
> Oh and this chapter is longer than any other chapter :3 sat four hours and two coffees on it XD Hope you enjoy! ♥♥♥

The sun is extra unbearable today. Sweat is rolling down my back, only cooling for a short while before it turns sticky and warm. Nearly two weeks have gone by, and with each day I felt a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser. Me and Levi have settled into a routine. Every morning he would head out for another scav, and come home in the evening with a heavy backpack to have dinner with me. When he isn't out or tinkering with his stuff, he lines up empty cans and teaches me how to shoot.

The feeling of his gun in my hands is no longer so strange. But today is the first time since the factory that he took me out on another job. It makes a nice change, except for the heat. We've been walking for some time now, his long strides always keeping him a little ahead, a empty water drum strapped to his back. After about ten minutes, he turns around and walks backwards, finally ready to talk.

''Cheer up, gorgeous. I'm going to show you something special today.''

''Where are we going anyway?''

''It's a surprise. The first time I found this place, my heart stopped. I can't wait to see your face when we get there.''

At some point, we pass a mound of rubble, what must have used to be an above ground bunker of some kind. Levi doesn't even spare a glance. He must've already raided this landmark for anything valuable. In the corner of my eye, I can see the biggest cockroach I have ever seen hide under a rock.

''It seems all I ever see are rats or cockroaches.''

''That's right. Me, the rats, and the roaches- we're survivors.''

''Surviving? They're thriving. I've never seen animals so big.''

''Yeah, the food's not so limited if you are willin' to eat anything. I have come across packs of rats munchin' on dead muties a bunch of time. I didn't get to that point yet.''

''Actually, if you think about it... if rats eat dead muties and you eat rats, you technically have gotten to that point.'' Levi stops, face slowly contouring into horror.

''... you know, rat nights are my only treat. Why you gotta ruin it for me?'' Without another word, he turns around and picks up the pace.

* * *

 

Finally, the flat landscape transforms, as we come across the most bizarre patch of land in the post-apocalyptic desert. As my mind manages to catches up with what I am seeing, I can't help but jump around and scream of joy.

_This is... ... the Dust Bowl's version of an oasis?_

The stream is nothing more than a small trickle. But to see a natural source of water -no matter how weak- managing to survive in this dead wasteland, it's like the most profound expression of hope. Not to mention the vegetation sprouting along its banks. The thin, wispy trees are ugly things, unlike any I've seen before. Grey and sickly looking... but alive. Anything strong enough to survive out here, no matters it's outward appearance, must surely possess its own kind of beauty.

This thought strikes a chord inside of me. I take in my partner's board back, his pale skin, and strong hands. I think about his occasionally smiles and how quick he was to take me under his wings. These trees are not the only strong thing that the Dust Bowl produced.

''Go ahead and drink if you want.''

''Is it okay?''

''Sure. It's clean and everything. Drink as much as you like. I mean, don't go crazy on it, you're slow enough already.'' _Sometimes...this guy...._

''I'm going to drink so much, I will explode.''

''Wow. Messy. I'm just going to stand waaay back here. You go ahead.'' I kneel by the stream's edge and cup some water in my hands. It's delicious- cool and natural and _safe_.

After having my fill, I noticed that Levi has wandered towards one of the trees and inspecting the branches. He pulls at one of them, twisting his hand back and forth in a corkscrew motion, before the thin black arm snaps, leaving a small something in Levi's palm.

_It's... a fruit!_

Getting to my feet and moving closer to the trees, I can now see lots of them, nestled up in the branches.

Purple-black with no shape or size, they are not the most handsomest of fruits. I reach up to grab one for myself, struggling to wrench it free, as if the tree knew how precious it is and is afraid to part from it.

It smells faintly sweet, but heavy and cloying and the skin leaves a sticky purple stain on my palm behind. While I stare in wonder at the thing in my hands, Levi comes up from behind and unzips my backpack , dropping the fruit inside.

''You're on grape duty. Just stuff as many as you can in the bag.''

''These are not grapes.''

''Well, they need a name, right? Don't worry, all the real grapes are too dead to feel offended.'' While I get to work, Levi drags the drum he's been carrying on his back over to the stream and started to fill it with the water.

While I collect the 'grapes', I feel hunger creeping up on me. And the fresh fruit in front of my nose looks more and more beautiful to my eyes.

''Oh, yeah. Before you get any ideas, don't eat any of those.''

''Why? Aren't they edible?''

''Well, the are not dangerous or anything. Look, just get on with it. We are losing daylight.'' Irritation sparks. Sometimes it seems like this guy is getting bossier by day. But I simply shrug it off and continue to pack them away .

 _If he want's to save them for later, then that's just fine_.

A dinner with fruit is something to look forward to, after the previous nights of canned food and a squashed rat.

Suddenly I notice Levi has stopped collecting water to look at me, a thoughtful frown on his face.

''I'm being a jerk, huh? Sorry, losing one won't hurt. If you want to eat you can eat.'' a small smirk is playing on his face. I don't need to be told twice, and immediately bite into the 'grape' currently in my hand.

For a moment, there is nothing - the odd texture of rough skin and mushy flesh, but no taste. Then it comes. The foulest, most rancid burning sensation spreading across my tongue, engulfing my entire mouth , and spilling down my throat. Gagging, I spit the fruit out, and drop the rest of it to the ground.

''...pffft. HAHAHAHA!'' This is the first genuine laugh I ever heard from him.

''Oh man, I can't believe you really did it! Listen, those aren't for eating.''

''What are they for then?'' Levi just shrugs and gets back to work. I follow his example, and before I know it, the sun is starting to get low in the sky.The taste will never leave my mouth.

* * *

The walk home goes slower, with Levi dragging the now full water drum behind him.

A part of me feels like he deserves him, since he tricked me with the 'grape', but the other part can't help but feel sorry for him.

''Here, Let me help you.'' I grab a part of the drum and hoist it up as much as I can.

''Thanks, babe.'' He still calls me pet names and I kind of enjoy it.

After a few steps, I stumble and the drum drops down to the ground. My finger sting, scraped by the raw metal.

''You okay? Sorry, just let me drag it the for the rest of the way. Don't worry about it, I've got this.'' Levi resumes dragging the drum.

''Oh, please. Give it here, tough guy.'' I grab it again, tighter this time, and the two of us work together to carry the drum back home.

''Heh. Thanks.''

* * *

As we walk together, something a little way out to the left catches my eye.

It's just a ragged, black stone - maybe a foot tall - sticking out of the ground. But, for some reason, I can't take my eyes off of it. Something in the back of my mind starts to stir.

 _I...I've seen this rock before_.

_**I could barely see.** _

_**My head was pounding.** _

_**My throat on fire.** _

_**I fell against the rock to catch my breath.** _

''Uh...hello? Earth to Eren. We are kind of pressed for time. Can you, maybe space out later? You know, when we are back home?'' Levi is talking but I can barely hear him.

I'm vaguely aware that my feet started to move on their own, towards the rock, but my mind is swirling.

''Eren?'' Past the rock, there is... something...in the distance. Some kind of large, blurred shape, stark against the horizon.

_It's calling me._

''Hey!''

Suddenly, Levi's strong hand latches around my arm.

''There is nothing out that way, believe me. If you think this place is fucked, go far enough in that direction and all you will hit is grey stone and then the mountains. And don't even think about climbing them, you will just wander into the red cloud. '' His words are muffled and useless to me.

I wrench my arm out of his hand and keep walking.

_What is that thing in the distance?_

**_I came upon the old shed by chance._ **

**_At first, I thought it might be my salvation._ **

**_Then I noticed the missing roof , the rotting wood, how it would offer no shelter at all._ **

**_I stumble onward, exhausted and desperate under the hot, merciless sun._ **

I break into a run.

Levi's voice barely audible from behind me.

''Oh, for fuck's - Eren! Get back here!''

I don't answer.

''Fine! If you want to get yourself killed then go, I don't care!''

I don't stop.

Closer now, I can make out the shape more clearly. It is a shed. The shed I remembered.

''...what?''

**_My legs hurt, my bare feet cut and bleeding._ **

**_Everything is still so unfocused._ **

**_I couldn't think straight._ **

**_All I knew was to keep going._ **

**_I have to... find somewhere... safe._ **

**_I couldn't see; I couldn't think; I couldn't call for help._ **

**_All I knew was the sun at my back._ **

_Wait? The sun at my back? That must be that way!_

I turn and start running, possessed by nothing but the urge to follow these memories to the source.

Following a trail I somehow remember.

And leaving Levi far behind.

* * *

 

I run for what feels like hours. The time my boots meet hard ground, my lungs are burning, my head a mess of confusion and fractured memories. But the bizarre flashes seem to be guiding me right.

And finally.... I am standing at the foot of a flight of stairs, leading up into the rockface.

_I... I know this place._

**_I almost fell down the stairs._ **

**_Clambering down them, holding tightly onto the rails, I finally fell down to my knees at the bottom._ **

**_And breath in the open air._ **

The desperation from earlier is gone. This time, I approach the stairs with a feeling of fear. The fear of losing my freedom.

At the top, I see a familiar old door, set into the mountain itself.

It's open. Just the way I left it.

Inside are more stairs, leading downwards.

At the bottom, the white hallway is dimly illuminated by low-level emergency light.

I can't think about anything but the fact that everything looks so familiar. And I don't know why.

I walk past the first two doors and come to a stop by the third at the left side. It's unlocked and I just walk in.

''Ah!''

Three beds stand against the back wall, beside a mass of dormant medical machinery.

On each bed... lies a person.

I don't need to step any closer to know that they're already dead.

Tubes snake out of the machine to the beds, needles lying uselessly tucked into decomposing flesh. I'm trembling, the air is foul with death, I should be running, or crying out, or _anything_ ... but I can't leave. Not yet.

Turning I see two more beds against the opposite wall, and one more body. The empty bed is what draws me. And suddenly I remember.

* * *

_I remember walking home by the sea. I remember the people passing by, enjoying the summer sun. I remember the boy who almost run me over, trying to catch a frisbee._

_My phone started ringing. It was an unknown number._

_'' Hello?''_

_''Hello, Eren, It's me, dad.''_

_''Oh, hi, what's up?''_

_''I'm calling because I got the results of the health check.''_

_''Wow, that was quick.'' I were at the clinic only yesterday._

_''I wanted to ask you if you could come in as soon as possible, so we can talk over the results.''_

_''Uh, sure. When?''_

_''Well, as soon as possible, really. Are you free this afternoon?'' I couldn't help but to worry about the urgency of it all. Did they find something bad during the health check?_

_''Y-yeah, I can make it this afternoon. I just-''_

_''Just announce yourself at the reception when you arrive. See you soon.''_

_**Beep.** _

* * *

 

...Yes. I remember.

The health check had been part of some new government initiative - offering free, in-depth tests at participating clinics.

The idea was supposed to be, if there was something wrong with you - no matter how minor - the test would find it. I'd expected there to be at least some small problems, of course.

Maybe slightly high blood pressure or something. But the truth had been far more shocking...

* * *

_''I..I'm sorry?''_

_''I said, your results are perfect. No trace of a physical defect. And no history of hereditary diseases in our family, so the chances of you inheriting an illness is incredibly low. Eren, do you have any idea how rare it is, to get a perfect score on this test? You're one of a handful of people.''_

_That's kind of weird to be told that. I'm fidgeting uncomfortably in my chair. On the other side of the table, Dad looks at me with a dead serious face._

_''Eren, I'd like to talk to you about the Easter Initiative.''_

_''The... what?''_

_''But first...''_

_He stood up and started preparing something, then he stepped around the desk, with a syringe in his hand._

_''First I have to give you this shot, it's a standard procedure in these cases.''_

_''But... you said I was perfectly fine?''_

_''Come on, aren't you a little too old to be scared of a needle?''_

_This feels... wrong._

_Before I knew it, I was on my feet backing away towards the door. But once I reach it, it swung open to reveal two man in military uniform._

_Grabbing both of my arms, they said nothing, but held me in place while Dad came closer with the syringe._

_The sting of the needle is soon replaced by numbness, and finally darkness..._

_''You will thank me for this. Eren, I promise.''_

_That's the last thing I remember._

* * *

 

...before I wake up here.

It's all... too much. And not enough.

My memory is returning, but that's only creating more mystery's.

I can feel my body trembling, but it's a very distant sensation.

''Hey, there you are.''

Gasping, I turn towards the doorway.

''I got to admit that you are really good at finding stuf-''

He trails off, seeming to notice the dead bodies on the beds.

''What the fuck? Oh god, Eren, are you okay? Jesus, you're really pale. Come here.''

In an instant, he is by my side, supporting my body as it slides down to the floor.

''Have you... been here before or something?''

I think I'm nodding, it's hard to tell.

''So, can you explain this shit?''

''...''

''Okay, just-just stay right there, yeah? Put your head between your legs or something.'' he quickly goes around the room, covering each body with a blanket.

''Listen, I will have a look around. Is it okay- Is it okay if I leave you here for a sec?''

''...''

''Okay, great. Don't move - I mean it. If you are going to pass out, better do it as close to the floor as possible.''

Fading footsteps are telling me he's gone.

Nausea has taken over every part of me. Everything makes even less sense than it did before.

_What do these memories mean? What is this place?_

As soon as I feel strong enough, I look around the room once more.

_I do know this room. I do. I..._

* * *

_I woke up, and it was like dying._

_Just pain, terror and blinding light._

_I ripped a tube from my throat, and it felt like I ripped myself open._

_Falling forward, I cried out as needles slipped free from my body._

_I cried out, but couldn't make a sound._

_Then I was on the floor, twitching and panting in the unforgiving white light._

_Cold tiles, blistering air, and every part of my body felt like it was on fire._

_It felt like hours , until I was able to open my eyes._

_Two rows of sleepers, everyone plugged in just like I had been._

_I couldn't scream._

_I ran._

_I zigzagged through the halls, falling against the walls again and again, but I kept pushing forward._

_Escaping._

_No one came to stop me._

_Nothing else stirred._

_I climbed the stairs on hands and knees, and when I finally reached the top it was like resurfacing from a deep and unknown abyss._

_I found a door._

_I scratched and pushed on it until it opened and prepared to breath... until I saw what's on the other side._

_I open my mouth._

_I scream._

_The silence rang out._

* * *

 

The memories cycle around and around in my head until, eventually, everything fits into place.

Now, in the aftermath, I no longer feel sick.

I feel drained.

I wobble as I slowly stand and leave to find Levi.

I can hear the sound of boots stomping around, of things unceremoniously rifled through, coming from the end of the hallway.

The first thing I notice is levi, who is trying to pry open a sealed crate. From the sweat on his face I can see that he has been on it since a while.

''Come...on...you...bastard.'' I look around the room.

''Hah! Oh, yes!''

**Bang!**

The noise scared me half to death and, for a second, I thought Levi went nuts and tried to shoot open the stubborn crate.

But it was just the sound of the pressure being released as the lid popped open.

''Okay, let's see.'' I join him, and looked inside the box to find individual vacuum packed bags.

Each of them is labeled with another name.

That means nothing to Levi, he starts ripping into them without a care.

''Useless.''

after looking inside he tosses the bag over his shoulder. He works his way through more packages until he get's his hands on one with a very familiar name on it.

I grab it from his hand.

''Hey, grabby hands, what's up? What, does this thing have your name on it?''

''Actually, yes.''

''... You and I have to talk about all this stuff sometime soon.''

Inside the bag are three items: my phone, my necklace with a key attached to it and a letter.

The battery of the phone is long dead, of course. I took the necklace and put it around my neck. Mom gave me this shortly before she died.

''This is pointless.'' levi sighs.

'' I'm going to have a look around the other rooms.''

I turn my attention to the letter. It has '' The Easter Initiative.'' written on it. I open the letter and read it.

_The Easter Initiative is a code-red measure, to be employed only if an alternative solution cannot be found. If you're reading this, then you are the solution, and humanity's best and strongest hope for the future. You were tested and found to be of exceptional health, earning you a place in this revolutionary project. No doubt you have questions, which the lab technicians will be happy to answer for you. Your sleeping period was perfectly safe, and you will suffer no negative effects of the hibernation. The phase 1 - Rouge Titan - of the Easter Initiative is scheduled to run for 100 years. Regardless, you have been awaken because now is the time to rebuild. And you will be a critical part of the new world order._

I skim the rest of the pages.

And the final page only has one sentence as text.

_Above all else, you must place your trust into the project runners._

''So, how are thing going here?''

I almost drop the letter when Levi walked in.

I maybe numb with shock, but Levi actually looks pretty shaken himself.

''Maybe'' He points his thumb behind his shoulder, into the hallway ''don't bother going into the other rooms. It's not pretty.''

I can guess what he means by that - more corpses.

_If I am really part of the Easter Initiative... ...then why am I the only survivor?_

''Listen, It's going to be dark soon. We either go now, or we're stuck here the night.''

''I don't want to stay here.'' Levi looks relived.

''Yeah, me neither. It stinks of death in here. Come on. '' He extends a hand to me.

''Let's go home.'' I take Levi's hand and let him help me to my feet.

He doesn't let go immediately, wrapping his fingers around mine in a tight, brief squeeze.

As Levi heads out, I glance back at the room. I didn't see it before but one of the things Levi threw away was a CD. I quickly pick it up and stuff it in my pocket, then turn and follow Levi back home.

 _Our_ home


	8. We Are Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Eren found out what really happend to him ( my baby ;-;)

The journey back to the shack goes by in a blur.

And by the time we're home, I don't even remember it.

After the blinding lights in the lab, the darkness of the shack is comforting and safe. I sit on the edge of the bed, hunched over by the weight of this long day.

''Finally.'' Levi finishes storing the bag full of 'grapes' - _God, I almost forgot about those._ \- in a cupboard, before stretching and ripping off his goggles.

He looks tired, but more than that, he looks... concerned.

''So?'' he points to the spot beside me on the bed.''Can I sit?''

''...It's your bed.'' He settles beside me. Close but not quite touching.

''...''

''...''

''So, listen, we kind of avoided this subject for the past couple of weeks now. And I respect someone's privacy, but... I really think it's time to put all your cards on the table. Eren, what is going on?''

_He is right. It's too much for me to carry alone._

I take a deep breath, open my mouth... and tell him everything. I tell him everything I know, everything I think I know and everything that I don't understand.

But no matter how crazy it sounded, Levi listened to everything. He doesn't interrupt, he doesn't call me crazy, ... He just listens, until I'm finished.

Afterwards, we just sit silently on the bed. My voice feels a little raw and Levi seems to be having trouble finding his. After some minutes, I feel the bed dip as he shifts a little, turning his body ever so slightly away from me.

I don't know if it's rejection or if he just needs some privacy to work this through. Eventually, he clears his throat and begins...

''When I was born...'' he swallows and starts again'' when I was born, everyone treated me as if I was something special. Hanji used to say it was because I was a miracle, just like Farlan and Isabel.''

I don't say a word, waiting for the next part of the story.

''We... were healthy kids. Maybe it doesn't sound much to you, but for us... to my community, it was a huge deal. When we were growing up, we only had us to play with. In our whole lives we were the only kids we knew. Sometimes, there were babies.. but they... never lasted long. Hanji said it had something to do with the red cloud. Like, it can sniff out any weakness you got in you and just ... latch on.

He turns to face me.

''So, what I'm saying is, if someone from before knew what was going to happen, and was gonna hand pick the people to protect ... then they'd probably pick someone like you, I guess. God... you really are from before, aren't you? Before the bombs fell?''

''The bombs. You mentioned that before.''

''I don't really know much about it. Only what Hanji told me. She was from back then, you know? She was 20 when everything went to hell. She told me that it was ''the largest terrorist attack ever conceived'' - those were her exact words - and that the bombs were dropped all over the world. Total annihilation. ''

I sit frozen, trying to digest this information.

''But then, Kenny always said that the terrorist thing was a lie the government told us - that they were the ones that did it.''

He shrugs.

''But I also knew this chick, who used to say it was aliens, so your guess is just as good as mine.''

''Can this all really be true? Am I really a... a relic?''

''Well, if you were a part of a government project... it didn't exactly work out as planned, did it? I mean, there were a lot of dead bodies.''

''The letter said we were supposed to wake up a hundred years after... whatever happend.''

''A hundred? Nah, it haven't even been forty.''

_If this is all really true - if the Easter Initiative really put me into Rogue-Titan to sleep through the end of the world - then it only brings up more questions._

_Why did I wake up so early? And why did none of the other participants survive? Where were the project runner, the lab techs - the ones who could have helped make sense of everything? And why me? Why am only I alive now?_

''Hey, Eren. I hope you're not beating yourself up about this now.''

I think about the lab filled with dead bodies, buried deep in the rock. And the fact that I, alone, made it out of there.

The truth is, I feel guilty.

As I try to decide whether I should or not tell how I really feel to Levi, I look over to him and catch his eyes, suddenly I'm exposed.

In an instant, he's read everything from my face before I even have the chance to try and mask it up.

He looks down and let's out a long sigh. When he looks into my eyes again, they're are hard and piercing.

''You know, I think we've got to know each other a little better in these past few weeks. I've certainly got to know you, I can't remember laughing so much before you came here. You're real fun to be around, you know? You got so many sides to you. Sides I haven't even seen yet. You're a person, Eren. Just like they were. So don't you dare start thinking that you maybe didn't deserve to survive, okay?''

''...''

''You want my opinion?''

I silently nod my head.

''I think you were lucky. And we both should be kissing the ground in gratitude. We should be happy to be alive in a world that's trying so hard to kill us. So, I...''

Levi falters. He swallows, hard.

''I have to keep you alive. Because with you being here means I'm twice as lucky as before. The ones who are dead - we can't help them now. The only thing that we can do, is to make sure that we don't disrespect them by throwing away the chance at life they don't have. When you want, we can go back to the bunker. Look for answers.''

''...''

''Anyway, get some sleep. It's been a rough day, but tomorrow is business as usual, got it? You're coming with me to bring the water drum back.''

''Got it.''

We start to get ready for bed.

''Oh, and Levi?''

''yeah?''

''At least I have you. That's something.'' I give him a big smile.

''...''

To my surprise, he turns around but before he does I could see the blush on his face.

''Shut up, brat.''

''I'm not a brat, I'm 23.''

''Yeah, you WERE. 38 years ago.''

''...touché.''

That night I had a dream about a room filled with corpses.


	9. Cabin Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Eren and Levi are locked inside the shack? For three days? And  
> is it the need to kill each other or just build up tension?  
> WARNING: Pairing may ''get on with it''. You know what I mean ;).  
> And you may want to punch Levi for his awkwardness XD

Days pass one by one, and Levi doesn't mention going back to the lab even once.

I know he's waiting for me to get ready, what I'm obviously not.

Things are getting quite comfortable, or as comfortable as it can get under the circumstances.

Okay, there was this one time I thought I'd give myself a hand bath when Levi was out scavving alone. And he ended up coming home early and walking in on me, wet and only covered by towel( my idea XD). And I may or may not have mistaken him for a mutie and threw a can of peaches on his head and almost knocked him out. He forgave me eventually and the swelling is almost gone now.

And our team work is definitely getting better. There had been that pretty scary moment, out on a scav run to what used to be a supermarked. I haven't even made it inside when Levi held his hand out and pointed into the distance - Three muties, still far away but coming closer. It was like they noticed us at exactly the same time. Suddenly all three of them were running our way. Levi drew his gun and ordered me to get inside the building. I did as he said, but not before I grabbed him and dragged him with me. We both hid behind a aisle by the broken window and waited, but the muties never came. After a while, we both got up and checked outside but the muties were nowhere to be seen. Levi said whatever the muties saw, it couldn't have been us.

We got lucky.

This morning, I wake up to Levi heading outside. His goggles are still on his bedroll, so he must just be going to scout a little before leaving.

Stretching, I get out of bed.

_Time for some breakfast._

Suddenly, the door slams open as Levi comes running back inside.

''We are not going outside.''

''What's going on?'' He looks really pissed off.

''Go look for yourself, babe.'' As soon as I open the door, I see it - The red cloud. The cloud has closed in all around the shack - I can barely see anything out there now.

I remember what Levi told me, all those weeks ago.

_''you get caught in that smog, that's pretty much your ticket to mutie-hood.''_

Shutting the door before anything can get in, I turn to Levi.

''Should I be panicking?'' He does look more annoyed than actually worried.

''Eh. It happens sometimes. But we should seal up any cracks in here, though. To be on the safe side.'' We both quickly gather some blankets and odd pieces of metal and wood - anything with that we could use to seal up crack or holes.

Once Levi is satisfied about our safety, we both sit silently - he at the table and me on the bed.

''...''

''...''

''So...what do we do now?'' Levi shrugs leaning back, folding his hands behind his head.

''We wait. Try to occupy ourselves.''

''For how long?'' He doesn't answer.

''Levi, for how long?''

''I don't know, maybe for the rest of the day... maybe longer.''

He takes a nap in the morning, then gets up and starts working on his pile of miscellaneous broken things in the afternoon. I don't have anything to do, and for the first time it really hits me - how important it is to have a job or a skill out here.

To pass the time, I eventually decide to exercise. While I get on with it, I make casual conversation with Levi. The conversation leads to just simply joking around and, at one point, my cheeks start to hurt from laughing so much. It's probably not so wise to encourage him, but I have to admit that he's pretty funny. But Levi slowly sinks deeper and deeper into whatever he's doing, so the conversation dries up. We eat dinner in silence, just waiting out the sunlight, until it finally fades.

And so the most boring day imageable comes to a close, and when I go to bed I hope that, by tomorrow, the red cloud will have moved on.

* * *

The cloud doesn't move.

In fact, three days later it's just as thick and so close that I can't even stick my head outside without the fear of contamination.

Understandably, the atmosphere in the shack is starting to get tense.

''Ugh.'' Levi glances at me to check that I've heard him, then repeats himself - louder - to make sure.

''UGH. What I would give to walk around naked, just for ten- no, five minutes.''

''Is that what usually do?''

''Well, it's not like I spent all day flapping in the wind. I just miss having the option.''

''...Right.'' Levi sighs.

''Look, it's not like I'm not grateful for the company. It's hard sometime, getting used to it. I've spent a long time not having to worry about offending someone.''

Today, Levi starts working on something else, at his table covered in scrap. It's very loud - a lot of banging, scraping and swearing when he hits a snag. I'm beginning to wonder if the noise really could drive me mad. And at this point it doesn't matter what I do to distract myself - he picks a problem with everything.

I'm lying on the bed, pretending I'm one million miles and 38 years away.

''... You're doing this on purpose.''

''Do what?''

''Breathing.''

''Breathing? Yes, I'm doing it on purpose.''

''You're breathing in an annoying way.''

''How does a person even do that?''

''You are doing it now! Just do it quieter, or further away or something!''

''I'm as far away as I could possibly be!'' It's true - we're each on the opposite ends of the shack, giving each other as much space as possible.

* * *

Throughout the day, we swing from sullen silence to matches, again and again, until I feel completely exhausted.

After yet another argument, Levi slams his fist down and stands up.

''Okay, that's it!'' He stalks over and stands, hands crossed in front of his chest, looking at me through narrowed eyes.

''I think what we've got here is a very clear case of cabin fever. Maybe we need to stop letting things build up and just get everything off our chests.''

''What?''

''Think about it, a little bit of honesty would make everything better.''

''I'm not sure...''

''Nah, go ahead. You can start.Tell me - What's the most irritating thing about me?''

''Are you serious?''

''Come on, babe, I can take it.''

''Okay, well...'' _I can't, this is a bad idea_. ''I don't think this is going to help.''

''... fine.'' Levi huff sulky, then turns back to his table.

''Wait!''

''...?''

''What were you going to say about me?''

''Oh, I'm not so sure you want to know.''

''Tell me.''

''...Nah. Irritating, isn't it?''

* * *

When he starts whistling, I thought I might actually kill him.

I can't even enjoy the tone - it's so inconsistent and unrecognizable. Finally, I snap.

''What is that?''

''Hm? Oh, it was just a thing Hanji used to hum sometimes.'' It strikes me how sad it is, that the only music Levi ever heard was from people's mouths - halfremembered and incomplete.

And suddenly... I remember.

''Ah!''

''Ah?''

_The CD! I grabbed it from the lab weeks ago, but my mind was such a mess that I completely forgot about it. It got to be around here somewhere...._

I dig around boxes and piles, when my fingertips came across the CD case.

''Look!''

''Yay! It's a... thing.''

''Oh, just get batteries for the CD player.''

''The what?''

'' _That._ ''

I point, and Levi's eyes widen in understanding.

''ohhhh, the mystery box.'' He opens a drawer crammed with old batteries. Picking out two, he stuffs them in the backside of the player. _At least he understands that much._

I bring the CD over to the player and place it inside. After pressing the play button, the CD spins and spins, and the only sound it makes is a loud, whirring sound. Disappointment hits me hard. Levi, on the other hand, particularly vibrates with excitement.

''I can't believe you got it to do that. I've never seen it do anything like this.''

''That's not what it supposed to do.''

''Huh? Well, it's really cool anyway.'' I take the CD, blow on it, and try again.

This time, when I press the play button, music begins to fill the room. I look over to Levi, who is looking at the CD player in absolute shock.

''So what do you think?''

''this is just... amazing!'' He jumps to his feet, picks me up and spins us around, with the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face.

''You're the best!''

''L-let me doo- wha- down!''

He let's me down, the smile not leaving his face, instead he grabs my face.

''You're - you're unbelievable. How did I get so lucky?'' He let's go and backs away.

''This calls for a celebration!'' Going to the cupboard, Levi starts rooting around for something. I still don't know what he is hiding back there - he is really secretive about it, even locking it whenever he is not around.

Finally looking inside, the sight leaves me confused. There is a great bucket filled with what looks like... ...'grape' ...juice?

Even from back here the smell hits me - strong and revolting.

''It's ready.'' He grabs two old mugs and scoops some of the black liquid into each. He passes me one, and I watch in horror as he raises his to his lips and takes a long swig from it.

''Go ahead.'' I take a teeny tiny sip of it, and it is worse than the 'grape' itself.

''Ugh! It's awful!''

''Yeah, but it gets you drunk.''

''Drunk?'' I take a look into the cupboard and equipment in there.

''Is that what you were doing back here? Making your own...'' _It can't be called wine._ ''... booze?''

''Kenny called it 'slop'. Look, I admit it's worse than a dogs asshole, but it got a hell of a kick to it.''

I look down at the black liquid in my mug. But the thought about another boring day in this shack, I'm sure would end in murder or suicide.

_Oh, fuck it._

I take three big mouthfuls, taking a breath after each.

The music changes.

_I recognize this one, it's Vegas Light's from Panic! At The Disco._

''This is seriously awesome. YOU are awesome.'' His honest, simple gratitude makes my stomach fill with butterflies. And I can feel the 'slop' start to work. I can feel the buzz, and thought about another mugful sounds quite appealing. Levi is literally radiating happiness.

''Let's dance!'' Levi takes my mug and puts both aside. Maybe it's the music or that we are drunk but all we can do is jump around, laughing at each other. Just enjoying ourselves.

I sing the lyrics of the song.

_Oh, if you only knew_

_What we've been up to_

_I guarantee you'd keep it secret_

_So give it to me now_

_We're lost in a dream now_

_Do it (5-4-3-2) one more time_

_In the Vegas lights_

_Where villains spend the weekend_

_The deep end_

_We're swimming with the sharks until we drown_

I don't take my eyes off of Levi's, and in return he doesn't takes his off of me. I sway my hips, hands in the air, just letting the music lead me.

Levi has a look in his eyes that I can't make out in my lightheadedness. Then the music changes again.

_Syndicate , the fray, huh?_

''Come here, dance with me.'' Levi grabs me by the hand and I just let him.

Taking my hands into his, we both sway from side to side. I don't know what it is, but the urge to move closer to him so strong that I give in. I snake my arms around his neck, to which he in return wraps his arms around my waist.

_This feels so good, it feels so right. As if my place is in his arms._

_Baby close your eyes_

_Don't open til the morning light_

_Don't ever forget_

_We haven't lost it all yet_

_Don't know what you're made of_

_Til the one thing that you want_

_To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes_

_Monday, syndicate meets everyone the same_

_But all we've lost to the flame_

_Listen to me now_

_This song fits perfectly to our situation_. I realize sarcastically

We don't break eye contact. I stare up into his beautiful blue-silver eyes, who seem to shine in the little light of the lamp. It feels like he is looking into my soul.

_What is this feeling? I feel like I'm suffocating but at the same time I'm able to breath freely, my heart aches and my stomach tingles. Why does he make me feel like this?.....Is it because... I'm in.... love?_

We continue to dance, me pressed against his chest.

I rest my head on his chest, closing my eyes, enjoying the warmth. Slowly the day changes to night.

Breaking away, Levi flops down on the bed. The fact that I'm still standing motionless in the middle of the room says a lot. I'm really , really tipsy.

''Oh, man that was fun. Kenny used to talk about taking his girl dancing. I always thought it sounded great, but this was just... wow... Does it always feel this amazing?''

I laugh at his uncharacteristic innocent excitement, but I'm not that unaffected myself.

''Who is Kenny?'' I Walk over to him and sit on the ground, beside the bed.

''Kenny? He used to own this place, he built it, actually. God, he was a piece of shit. Really grouchy, you know? Treated me like I was a pain in the ass all the time, but he took me in when I had nowhere else to go. And he didn't get rid of me, no matter how much I pissed him off. Hell, he put up with me for eight years. He knew a lot about machines and fixing stuff. He taught me a lot, about fixing things, and... more than that. ''

I rest my chin at the edge of the bed and look up to Levi. He looks somehow different. I've never seen him so open, so soft.

''I was... in a bad place for a while. All ''poor me'', acting like being alive was the worst possible thing that could have happend to me. I was an idiot, and he was not afraid of telling me that. Actually, the thing that I told you - he was the one who told it to me. _The world is not for the muties, rats or roaches, but it's ours. It's our world. ''_

''But... he's gone now?''

Levi's smile drops a little.

''...Yeah. It doesn't matter if you do everything right, it doesn't matter if there are no slip-ups. Suddenly there were six or seven muties in front of us. He took down most of them, I got a few good shots, but... he was a old man by then. It was the first time it really hit me - that he was grey, and slow, and... one of those bastards got him and that was it. I couldn't bury him, so I gave him my goodbyes and came back home.'' He puts his palm against the wall.

''My home. Wait, no... our home. Ugh, this is getting depressing, sorry. I don't want to be a sad drunk. Come on, distract me!''

I think for a moment, and as I wait for a idea to strike, I can feel the urge slowly building. The irresistible urge to... annoy Levi.

I pull myself onto the bed and shift Levi's legs to give myself enough room. _This poor fool. He has no idea._

I siddle closer and closer, suuuuuper casual, and then - I attack!

My fingers wriggle under his armpits, then I move them to his sides, but levi is - sadly - unaffected.

''What are you -oh.'' A scary glint comes to his eyes, and suddenly I'm backing up as fast as I can.

''W-wait-!''

''Too late.'' His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, pulling me back in, tickling fingers at the ready. But a slight miscalculation has me falling faster towards him then expected, and I end up sprawled on top of him. My breath catches in my throat. I'm moving before I can think better of it, lips slowly moving to his...

''Oh!'' Levi sits up abruptly, sending me falling backwards on the mattress.

''We should play a game.''

''A game?''

''Yeah. What do people play when they are drunk?''

''Spin the bottle was popular.''

''Wow, spinning a bottle? What a riot.''

''It wasn't really about the spinning the - ugh, forget it, it's not really a two-player game anyway. How about truth or dare?''

''I know that one. Eren, truth or dare?''

''Dare.''

''Heh, okay. Stand on the bed and shout: '' Levi is the handsomest, coolest, cleverest man on this world and I'd be lost without him.''.

''...what.''

''It's a dare. You have to do it.''

I stand on the bed, wobbling a little.

''Levi is the handsomest, coolest, cleverest, irritatingest man on this world - not that there is much competition - and I'd be lost without him!''

He stares for a moment.

''hmm, I allow it.''

''Okay, your turn. Truth or dare?''

''Truth.''

''What's your most embarrassing moment?''

''Oh shit, okay, there was this moment, years back... Kenny and I went to this town to trade. suddenly I'm pushed into a room with this very pretty, very nacked woman and I just - I was so confused. She started taking off my pants and - and I panicked and run out. Everybody saw me running down the street with my dick flapping in the wind. Turns out she was a prostitute Kenny hired to pop my cherry or some shit. He never let me live that down. AHEM, my turn. I dare you - ''

''Hey, you have to let me choose!''

''I dare you to put your mug on top of your head, spin around five times and walk back to the bed without falling over.''

''Pssh, easy.'' I get up, put the mug on my head, and start spinning. After the third spin, I lose count. When I come to a stop, everything is still spinning around. I try to make it back to the bed, but it's not as easy as it sounds. Somewhere on the way I trip over my own feet and fall forward. Luckily, Levi is there to catch me before I hit the ground.

The music changes yet again. _I was made for loving you?_

''...''

''...''

''...Hey, C'mere.'' Levi tugs me closer. Head floating, I follow easily and end up half-sitting in his lap. I feel my face is heating up . The moment stretches and becomes heavier, something more than just a moment, as I'm sprawled over his lap, eyes fixed on his.

''Shit, I... I'm probably gonna kiss you. So, if...if you don't want to, you should kick me in the balls or something.''

Strong, warm hands cup my face, his face moves towards mine. His mouth is close enough that I can smell the alcohol in his breath.

I press my lips to his before common sense can catch up. He barely misses a beat before his lips are moving against mine. His licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth in response, tongue pushing in immediately.

He kisses like he talks; like he moves - almost gentle but it's not something he learned.

The longer we are entangled, the less chance is there to stop this runaway train to a stop. Thing's are going to go out of control if we don't stop now.

_Do I want to stop? Oh, forget it._

_I want more._

I shiver as his hands move across my body, gentle and with purpose. I let out a little moan as his hands move under my shirt. His hands moving closer to the part of me that aches to be touched.... And stop.

''...Levi?'' I open my eyes. _When did I close them?_

Levi has his own eyes closed in concentration, just sitting there.

''...ZzzZzzZzz....'' _Really?_

''Levi!'' He gives another snore but doesn't response. A good, hard poke to his face confirms: he is out cold.

Awkwardly I removing myself from his body, it seems like I have no choice but to let him have the bed for tonight. I go over to the CD player and turn it off. I lie down on Levi's bedroll and I feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep.

''Good night, I guess...'' Soon I'm surrounded by darkness.

 


	10. It's Our Signal Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first real fight °-° And hard decisions are made;-;

The next morning, I wake up feeling absolutely terrible.

My mouth is dry and there is this constant, unpleasant pounding right behind my eyeballs. Levi is already up and moving around the shack. He does, however, freezes like a animal in car headlights when he realizes that I'm awake.

''Uh... morning. Listen, let's just...'' he stops and sighs'' I'm really sorry about last night. My fucking pride will never recover from it, but...uh... maybe it was for the best? We were pretty wrecked. Not thinking straight. So maybe it was kinda... heroic? How I... fell asleep... in the middle.'' He is blushing really hard. _I'm so stupid. So fucking stupid. It must have been the alcohol. Yes, the alcohol, not love, just being drunk with music to set the mood._

''A-anyway, today is a new day. And on that note, I have great news. I looked outside earlier and guess what? The red cloud is finally backing off. I think it will be safe by tomorrow.''

''We'll be able to go outside?''

''Yeah, so all we got to do is not to kill each other today, and we will be free tomorrow.'' The relief almost knocks me over.

_Finally._

I quickly wash my face and go back to bed. For the rest of the morning, I lie there, nursing my hangover, while Levi goes about his business. After a few hours, the worst of the headache is gone, and I feel good enough to move around. Curious, I walk over to where Levi is sitting at the table, quietly cleaning his gun.

_Wait, why didn't he do anything noisy today? Did he try to be quiet because of my headache? Is he being nice?_

Among the piles and piles of stuff on the work table, I notice an old, intact radio that actually looks like it would be serviceable.

''Did you fix this?''

''Hmm?'' Levi looks up distractedly. When his eyes land on the radio, something complicated flashes through his eyes, almost too quick to catch.

''Uh, yeah. It's a lost cause though.''

''You couldn't make it work?''

''Forget about it - It's useless.'' He sounds dismissive, but I can tell just by looking at the radio that he worked long and hard on restoring it. I want to press the issue, but Levi has a clear 'I don't want to talk about it.' look on his face.

But I can't leave it at that, so I'll be direct with him.

''I notice you didn't actually say that it doesn't work.''

''Oh yeah, you noticed that, did you? Listen here, just because something works doesn't mean it's worth using.''

''But what if it could pick up a signal?'' He scoffs at that.

''From who?''

''Well, from other survivors, or a - a distress signal or a government broadcast or something.''

''Oh my god, Eren, there is no one out there. How many times do I have to tell you that? Just get used to the idea, okay?''

''......I was out there.''

''That's - that's different.''

''Is it? All these years, and you didn't had to be alone, Levi.''

''...''

'''I didn't had to be lying half-dead in a room full of corpses.''

''...''

''So, you really think it's not worth at least a shot?''

''...Fine. You know what? You want to waste your time, go ahead. But I'm telling you, it's pointless. If I couldn't get a signal six years ago, why should there be something now?'' _I don't know, but I have to try._

The radio flicks to life, and I start tuning.

* * *

Over an hour later with no results, Levi is starting to get that familiar, smug look on his face. My hope is almost completely gone.

As much as I hate to admit it, but he might be right. There's not even an trace of anyone.

We really are alone.

''Well, I hate to say I told you, but-''

''Wait, shhhhh!'' _I could swear that there was something. Yes! right under the white noise._

Even Levi stops to listen. As I try to concentrate to make out the - whatever it is - it becomes clear that it's a signal. It's faint, but it's there. With turning on the radio I reached blindly into the void. And someone is reaching back.

With a little patience, I finally tune in to the signal. The faint sound beneath the static turns out to be nothing more than a series of beeps.

Levi looks shocked for a moment, until he turns dismissive and uninterested again.

''Well, have fun while decrypting this on your own.'' I take a seat and press my ear against the speaker,the beeps still barely audible.

After a moment, a exciting thought comes to my mind - _what if the beeps are coordinates?_

I remember seeing a map somewhere around here... Levi would check stuff on it every now and then. Digging around, I find it and lay it out on the table, pushing Levi and his work aside.

''Hey!'' The map is covered in scribbles and notes. Notes like scav sides or mutie hideouts. The markings were made from Levi or Kenny or both. Listening to the series of beeps again and again, until they finally start to make some kind of sense, I place my finger over a point on one of the outer edges of the map. _If I'm right, and these are coordinates, then this is the right place._

''Levi, look! This is where the signal is pointing.''

''...''

He looks at the map through narrowed eyes. Then, with his finger, he draws a invisible circle around the point of the shack in the center.

''See this? That's how far you get before you hit the red cloud.''

''But there are points marked outside the area.''

''Kenny made those. Long ago, when he obviously had a death wish.''

''So it's not impossible to travel outside the circle, then.''

''But it gets riskier and riskier the further you are out. Okay, maybe the cloud moves, but it sweeps in so fast it will kill you before you even know it. Nowhere's safe.''

''It's like you're making reasons not to hope.''

''It's just that it's not worth getting excited over some stupid beeps. We don't even know how old the signal is - the one who send it must be already dead.''

''But isn't it worth seeing where the coordinates are leading?''

''Worth getting killed? No, not at all.'' Finally I snap.

''How much longer are your cans going to last, Levi? What are you going to do when you run out? Whenever you go out scavving, it's a place where you had been a million times before! Admit it - you've exhausted all you resources here! You are going to die, when you don't take your chance!'' Levi jumps to his feet, sending the chair to the ground.

''Who the hell do you think you are, huh? You come here, eat my food, contribute every-sweetfucking-thing, and think that you got the right to criticize my way of life? If you don't like the way I run my little shithole kingdom, why don't you just fucking leave? ''

''We should both leave!'' Levi turns away, saying nothing. His entire body is stiff, fists shaking at his sides.

Seeing no other option, I turn around and do as I'm told.


	11. It's Our Signal Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Eren are you really leaving?  
> Will they Leave together or go separate ways?  
> oh! and a little fight scene somewhere in there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spilled cola over my keyboard °-°

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four steps.

Five steps.

And stop.

 _Where am I going? I got nothing, no way of surviving out here. What am I going to do?_ I just can't bring my legs to move.

Suddenly, the shack door slams open from behind me.

''Wait!'' I turn back to see Levi standing in the doorway, breathing rapidly, looking... afraid.

''Don't...Don't go. Don't leave me alone again.'' He gestures me to follow him back into the shack and I do.

Neither of us speaks or the rest of the day. That night, I'm laying in bed, trying to sleep.

''You're right. I've been doing the sums since months now and with the cans I got here, there's maybe... half a year left. Maybe an extra month if there's a stash I miraculously missed somewhere.'' He trails off into silence. It'd probably take just one small push.

''Didn't you say that survival is everything?''

''...Yeah, yeah I did.'' he gives a deep sigh ''Okay.''

''Okay?''

''Let's do it.'' It was the last thing he said that night.

* * *

 

But the next morning, the preparations begin. Together, we fill two backpacks with food and water.

Levi takes a long look at the map, before tucking it into the back of his jeans, next to his gun. I work quickly. Maybe Levi is trying to get things done before he has a chance to change his mind? After all, there is a big, dangerous world outside the shack.

Outside the cloud is now completely gone and the sky is bright and clear. Affixing his goggles, Levi gives me a small smirk.

''Ready for this?''

''As I'll ever be.''

''Can't ask for much more than that. Well, let's chase that radio signal, shall we?'' And, like it's the most simplest thing in the world, we head off. Though I don't miss the last, lingering look Levi gives the shack. I want to tell him that it will be fine - that he won't be gone forever. But the truth is, from now on, nothing is certain anymore.

We have to chase the signal, because it might be our signal to survive.

* * *

The plan is to head west, where we hopefully hit the ruins of a old town by sunset.

The journey starts relatively in silence, but the fresh air and open space feels good enough to override the feeling of doubt and worry. And eventfully the conversation starts to pick up.

Levi talks about anything that come to mind and I join him, and so we feed off of each other's energy. After all, more time chatting less time worrying.

''Hey, so I have a question. What is a butterfly?''

''It was a gruesome creature.'' I deadpanned, trying to sound as serious as possible. Levi's eyes widened and I couldn't keep it in anymore.

''Hahaha!'' Levi looked surprised by my outburst, but he narrows his eyes immediately, seeming to understand why I'm laughing so hard.

''Yeah, yeah, really funny.''

''Hehe, sorry but you looked so astonished when I said it. Actually, butterflies were tiny insects with really beautiful wings in every color possible and they were really fragil yet strong, like, if you touched their wings too much, they wouldn't be able to fly anymore, yet they can fly for miles and miles in the strongest breezes without getting tired.''

''Wow, they were really amazing, huh?''

''Yeah, they were. I used to chase them, hoping they would bring me somewhere where I would have complete freedom.''

''That sounds nice.... They somehow remind me of you.''

''What?''

''You said they are fragil yet strong and had every color to them possible, that reminds me of you. Your eyes have colors I've never seen before and you might be fragil sometimes but you can still stand your ground. You want freedom, you're what I imagine when I think about butterflies.'' I feel myself blushing from his sweet words. Honestly, no one ever said words even close to those Levi told to me.

The rest of the journey is pretty uneventful and we make it to the town in good time. From the distance it's a depressing sight, but up close it's even worse. People lived here. A whole bustling town of office worker and truck driver and schoolchildren, who had no idea of what was to come. And then afterwards the other survivors. And now... there's nothing. Empty and dead.

''Back, when Kenny and I used to come here to trade, there was always a drink going on at the Water Barill.''

''The water barrel?''

Levi gestures to a building with the letters '' **WA TER BA RILL** '' above the door.

He heads inside and I follow.

It was obviously once a bar. It still got an old pool table, plus lots of wooden chairs and tables, and a bar with various empty beer bottles piled on it. On the bar are yellow business cards, with the words ''Walter's Bar & Grill'' printed on them. _Ah, mystery solved_.

Levi heads behind the bar and starts rooting around below.

''Hey.'' He pops up again, with six bottles of water in his arms.

''Here we go. The last of the bunch. Man, it's like the end of an era.'' He splits the water ration in half, then unzipped my bag and put my half inside.

''Izzy - Isabel, uh, she used to live here. Man, she would never tell us where she found this stuff, but she always had some at hand. She was kind of a brat, but I still saw her as a little sister. She was really determined and looked for trouble everywhere, so I and Farlan had to always keep an eye on her. She had bright red hair and big, green eyes. Heh, I really miss her and Farlan sometimes.''

''They meant a lot to you, huh?''

''Yeah, they did.''

''Can I know what happen to them?''

''...I don't really know. The last time I came here with Kenny, almost everybody was gone, and no one of the people left knew where they went or what happend to them. I-I think the cloud might have got them, that's how it always had been.''

''I'm sorry.''

''No, it's alright. Anyway, let's get this shit done, so we can find a place to sleep.'' While Levi rearranges his backpack, I take a moment to enjoy the cool shade of the building. It feels so good to be out of the sun. I title my head back and close my eyes, when I open them again, Levi is looking at me.

''Hey, I'm going to make a quick round of the old haunts - see if anyone left anything we could use.'' Levi seems a little hesitant about taking the stuff from here, this is no scave site to him, it's a memory.

''You stay here, rest your feet and cool down a bit.'' _He's trying to make things easier for me._

Even though his concern is really touching, I can't help but feel a little guilty on taking him up on his offer, _or order?_

When levi leaves the bar, I stretch my legs out under the table. The only reason why I don't take off my boots, is that it's too much of a hassle to put them back on. The air is really stifling, dry and heavy, but it's a hundred times better than outside. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment for as long as possible, until a noise startles me awake.

''Levi?'' The sound comes from outside, but no reply follows. I sit up straight, tense and quiet, waiting.

There's another sound - like something scraping the outside of the wall. Only this time it's closer to the door. I walk towards it slowly, and freeze as the source of the sound passes by the blown-out window. It's a mutie, a woman. Shuffling forward with jagged movements and unknown purpose. I stay silent and still, but she doesn't even look my way, continuing to shamble on until she is out of sight from the window.

I breath out, I have to make a decision. I could hide or barricade the door and window, but then another thought leaves my blood cold in my veins. _Levi is out there, he doesn't know theres are mutie outside - possibly even more - wandering around town. I need to warn him!_ I'll have to be quick and silent. The front door is not a good idea, but there must be another way out of here.

And it doesn't take me long to find it. Just beside the bar and ahead of a hallway leading to the restrooms, there is a back door.

Heart pounding, I head to it.

Suddenly the back door slams open, wood splintering, revealing a familiar face.

Dirty, frizzy red hair. Crazy and wild looking big, pale green eyes are staring at me. The woman from before found her way in. And I get the sinking feeling that this mutie might be one that Levi would recognize. She advances to me with clumsy steps. With every step I take backwards, she takes one forward, never more than just a couple of feet away.

Even if I flee, I'll have to fight first. I desperately search for a weapon. I lunge towards the bar and grab an empty beer bottle. But before I can even turn back, the mutie slams into me from behind, making me smack my head against the bar. Dazed, vision blurry, I can only swing the bottle until I feel it connect, hear the sharp cry of pain from my attacker. Biting back on a whimper, I try to recover a fast as possible.

When I'm able to see properly again, I run around the pool table and grab a cue.

The mutie is back on hunting mode and pounces on me, barely having time to register the sting of sharp fingernails slicing into my chest, I swing the cue and it hits the side of it's head, bringing it to its knees. Seeing my chance, I quickly search for another escape route, and the only ones are the stairs behind the bar. They lead upwards. Up is probably not the best direction right now but I can't reach either of the doors with the pissed mutie in my way.

 _There's no time to think!_ I throw myself on the bar and roll over it, somehow managing to land on my feet and running up the stairs. The second floor is barely there at all, rotten floorboards and rooms with no doors. So I keep running until I hit a second flight of stairs, and emerge...

I burst out onto the roof. The mutie's footsteps thunder right behind me, but I have nowhere to go. I stop near the edge and turn to face her. The mutie also comes to a stop, maybe sensing that she has won already.

''Isabel?... Izzy?'' She titles her head at me, her eyes on mine. _Is that.... recognition? Those she remember her name?_

Then she takes another step forward, and I realize... no. There's only hunger left. I glance back at the drop below. Jumping from this high - well, I'd be lucky to only break my legs. Too high to escape, but high enough to be a weapon? I turn back to the mutie. She's coiled like a animal ready to strike.

''Isabel... I don't want to do this.'' Just the thought makes me sick. Against all logic, I hope that she would give up and walk away. With a howl, the mutie leaps forward and rushes towards me. I stand my ground to the last possible moment, then throw myself to the side, landing painfully on my arms.

But the mutie gets the worst of it - running right past me and over the edge of the roof. The crack from below is sickening. When I gather my courage to look down.

I see her lying motionless on the road below. She landed badly - limbs twisted and, God, the blood's everywhere. It was a fatal fall.

''I'm sorry.'' taking in a deep, shuddering breath, I head back inside.

Back down in the bar, I pull out a chair and ease my arching body. _It's the second time I've killed_. The adrenaline fades quickly, and I lower my head to the table. Closing my eyes just for a moment feels so good.

''Woah, taking a nap, are we? Jeez, it's alright for some.'' I look up to Levi walking in. He obviously didn't pass the body outside.

His teasing grin soon disappears when he takes in the look in my eyes, then my injuries.

''...what the fuck happend?'' I smiled weakly at him and open my mouth but the only sound coming out is a strangled sob.

''Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.''

''Le-levi, I-i'm so, so, so sorry.''

''Eren, calm down and please explain to me what happend, if you can.''

''... A m-mutie came i-in and.... and I think it- it was Isabel. We fought, and I run upstairs. When I was on the r-roof... I tricked her and she... fell down t-the roof. Levi, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it. I-i'm so sorry.'' I struggle through a explanation.

''Are you fucking kidding me?''

''... She's dead now. I... I took care of her.''

''...''

He spins around and heads behind the bar.

''There should be a med kit back here somewhere or something.'' He begins rummaging around, loudly and clumsy, like he can barely focus.

''Shit. Just wait. Hang on. Where's the fucking - SHIT! I really fucked up. How many years am I doing this and I just leave you here alone without checking - after... after I promised that you never... never have to do it again. After I promised myself I would protect you. I royally fucked up!''

**Bam!**

He slams his fists down on the bar.

''DAMN IT! ...... oh, here it is.'' Grabbing the first aid kit and bringing it to my table, Levi starts tending to my wounds.

''...Thank you.''

''.... Hey, don't mention it.'' After I've been disinfected and bandaged, Levi starts looking a little less tense.

''I found a pretty decent place to sleep.''

* * *

 

Levi leads me to a mostly-intact building a few blocks away. The windows have been boarded up, so it must have been used as shelter back when the town had people living in it. The sunlight begins to fade, and we hurry inside. We work together on barricading any point of entry we can find. You can never be too careful, after all. Once that's done, we settle down on eating dinner - a hearty meal of canned meatballs.

Halfway through his dinner, Levi sighs.

''Hard to believe this used to be the town I and Kenny would come to trade.''

''Trade? Is that how you used to get by?''

''Yeah. We'd haul our scrap from town to town, selling it for food and water, real booze, or sometimes more interesting scrap. But one by one, the towns disappeared.'' I don't know what to say, so I say nothing.

Using a knife, I rip open a can of sliced mangos and start devouring them for dessert. They're submerged in syrup, and when I pop a slice into my mouth, some of the juice falls. It starts dripping down my arm, and I quickly follow with my tongue, catching the juice in my mouth.

Suddenly, I'm aware of Levi's eyes watching me. He swallows thickly. Our eyes meet, and he hastily looks away. Dinner come to an end in silence.

Soon it's night. There's one mattress on the floor, but it's pretty big and not completely disgusting. Levi and I settle down side by side without too much invasion of personal space. He pulls off his goggles and places them gently to the floor. I've noticed it before - how respectfully he treats them.

''They seem important to you.''

''Hmm? Oh, yeah, I guess so. Well, they used to be Hanji's. But she passed them to me. She was like a mother to me, took care of me when my mother died after she gave birth to me. But those goggles are really special. Like, my coming of age present or something. But I don't know, maybe it's stupid to be hung up by some old goggles.'' I reach for his hand in the dark, and grasp it softly.

''It's not stupid.'' He give my hand a squeeze, like he was waiting for it.

''Thanks.'' The conversation drops. I feel myself start to drift off.

''...I'm sorry. For everything. For leaving before we could look into the bunker again, for leaving you alone today and getting you attacked... I... I'm so sorry. Because of me you get hurt constantly.'' I think about the lab, stinking of death and decay, unlocking my memories, but for what cost? If I had went back there, there wouldn't be any answers - only more questions. Beside the answers wouldn't mean anything. There's no turning back. I have to keep moving forward.

''Levi... it's okay. It's not your fault. I don't blame you for anything.''

''But-''

''No but's, I'm just happy to have you by my side, so sleep. Goodnight, Levi.''

''... Goodnight, Eren.''

That night I fell asleep to Levi's breathing, much closer than it has ever been before.


	12. Am I Out Of My Mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's PoV

Levi's PoV

''Oh, please. Give it here, tough guy.'' Eren grabbed the drum again. _He's really stubborn, isn't he?_

''Heh. Thanks.'' After a while of dragging the drum together, Eren suddenly stops.

''Uh...hello? Earth to Eren. We are kind of pressed for time. Can you, maybe space out later? You know, when we are back home?'' He started walking towards the open land mindlessly, staring at something I can't see.

''Eren?'' He doesn't respond, just keeps moving forward.

''Hey!'' I grab his arm, preventing him on going further.

''There is nothing out that way, believe me. If you think this place is fucked, go far enough in that direction and all you will hit is grey stone and then the mountains. And don't even think about climbing them, you will just wander into the red cloud. '' It seems like the brat doesn't even listen to me. Wrenching his arm free, he breaks into a run.

''Oh, for fuck's - Eren! Get back here!'' No answer

''Fine! If you want to get yourself killed then go, I don't care!'' I do care, I care too fucking much. I start running after him. _For some shitty brat he's pretty fast._

I follow him, not stopping when I see him climbing up some stairs, not stopping when he disappears into the rock-face. I find a staircase behind the door Eren has entered. I follow it, soon it leads me in a corridor, with faint blinking lights . I look around, usually I would go straight to scavving but first I have to find Eren.

And I find him standing in the middle of a white room.

''Hey, there you are.'' He turns to me.

''I got to admit that you are really good at finding stuf-'' I trail off. What the fuck? Why are there corpses?

''What the fuck? Oh god, Eren, are you okay? Jesus, you're really pale. Come here.'' His usual bronze skin is replaced by a sick looking one. I support his body, slowly bringing him down to the floor.

''Have you... been here before or something?'' A nod.

''So, can you explain this shit?''

''...''

''Okay, just-just stay right there, yeah? Put your head between your legs or something.'' I start to panic. I don't know what to do in this situation. I want Eren to feel safe but I can't even bring myself to calm down.

After I'm sure that Eren will be alright on his own, I head out to have a look around. _What the fuck happened here? And what has Eren to do with all of this?_

* * *

_**Tiiiiime Skip** _

I sit beside Eren on the bed.

''So, listen, we kind of avoided this subject for the past couple of weeks now. And I respect someone's privacy, but... I really think it's time to put all your cards on the table. Eren, what is going on?'' I look down on Eren's face. He takes a deep breath and tells me everything he knows, and I don't interrupt him.

What he told me was horrible. In that moment I realized that Eren had been through a lot. I slightly turn away from him, thinking about my next choice of action. He told me stuff about him, so I guess it's okay if tell him something about myself. I tell him a little, not too much though, that stuff can be told another time.

''So, what I'm saying is, if someone from before knew what was going to happen, and was gonna hand pick the people to protect ... then they'd probably pick someone like you, I guess. God... you really are from before, aren't you? Before the bombs fell?'' Someone from before. _Yeah, he is a real miracle._

* * *

**_Skipidy skapidy doo_ **

''Oh, and Levi?''

''yeah?''

''At least I have you. That's something.'' He gave me a bright smile I've never knew a person could own. It's as if he is radiating warm sunlight and it made him look like an angel. _Dear everloving-fuck, how can someone be so cute?!_

I turn away but I'm pretty sure that Eren managed to get a glimpse of my beet-red face.

''Shut up, brat.''

''I'm not a brat, I'm 23.''

''Yeah, you WERE. 38 years ago.''

''...touché.''

That night I dreamed about Eren's smile vanishing by the hands of the monster outside, and I couldn't do anything, no matter how hard I tried.

* * *

 

Few days later, I woke up like usually.

When I stood up, I turned to a sleeping Eren. _He looked so peaceful when he sleeps. As if outside wasn't an endless desert, surrounded by a toxic cloud._

Finally getting my gaze off of Eren, I head outside for a quick stroll. I take a few steps before I stop and take a double take at the horizon. The fucking cloud is closing in on us.

I run back inside, locking eyes with Eren, when he probably was going to get breakfast.

''We are not going outside.'' I'm so pissed. _Why does this happen to us?_

''What's going on?''

''Go look for yourself, babe.'' I did it again. _Damn, seems like I have something for pet names._

As soon as Eren opened the door, he slammed it shut again.

''Should I be panicking?''

''Eh. It happens sometimes. But we should seal up any cracks in here, though. To be on the safe side.''

We seal everything a s good as we can.

''So... what do we do now?''

''We wait. Try to occupy ourselves.''

''For how long?'' _I don't know. A few days or... a few weeks._

''Levi, for how long?''

''I don't know, maybe for the rest of the day... maybe longer.''

* * *

''Nah, go ahead. You can start. Tell me - What's the most irritating thing about me?'' I know I can be an asshole, but I think he already learned to deal with that.

''Are you serious?''

''Come on, babe, I can take it.''

''Okay, well... I don't think this is going to help.''

''... fine.'' Party pooper.

''Wait!''

''...?''

''What were you going to say about me?''

''Oh, I'm not so sure you want to know.''

''Tell me.'' _Maybe it's your cuteness that's irritating?_

''...Nah. Irritating, isn't it?''

* * *

**_Skip skap scoop di dab_ **

''Ah!'' Eren shouted all of a sudden.

''Ah?''

He started roaming through a pile of scrap, until he pulled something in form of a square out.

''Look!''

''Yay! It's a... thing.''

''Oh, just get batteries for the CD player.''

''The what?''

''That.'' He pointed to the mystery box.

''ohhhh, the mystery box.'' I got some batteries out of my drawer and put them into the ''CD Player''. Eren puts a mirror in shape of a circle into the player and pressed a button.

All of a sudden the thing starts to spin and spin, while making a whirring sound. _What the hell? How can it spin that fast? And why does it spin anyway?_

''I can't believe you got it to do that. I've never seen it do anything like this.''

''That's not what it supposed to do.''

''Huh? Well, it's really cool anyway.'' Eren takes the ''CD'' out and blows on it, then puts it back into the player. _I wonder what else he could blow-- NO, NO, NO! I am NOT thinking that._

He presses the button again and suddenly there was a tune playing, that I’ve never heard before. I was shocked for the first seconds.

''So what do you think?''

''this is just... amazing!'' I picked him up and spun us around like the CD, giving him a big smile.

''You're the best!''

''L-let me doo- wha- down!'' I let him down but grabbed his face instead.

''You're - you're unbelievable. How did I get so lucky?'' _How did I manage to deserve someone like him?_

''This calls for a celebration!''

Eren hated the slop, but drank all of it anyway. The music changed to something with a fast beat.

''This is seriously awesome. YOU are awesome. Let's dance!'' We both move to the music, enjoying ourselves. I don’t take my eyes off of his bright, teal eyes. _So beautiful._

My mind went blank for a second when I heard Eren singing to the song. His hips swaying to the beat, arms in the air. _I need him a little closer._

Then the music changes again. It's something slower now.

''Come here, dance with me.'' I grab his hands and together we move to the music. Eren wraps his arms around my neck, in return I snake my arms around his slim waist. We don't break eye contact. His eyes have some kind of internal-glow to them, making them shine in the dim lighting.

He rests his head against my chest, and I hoped he wouldn't hear my rapidly beating heart. We dance like that until it gets dark and I sadly pull away and lie down on the bed.

''Oh, man that was fun. Kenny used to talk about taking his girl dancing. I always thought it sounded great, but this was just... wow... Does it always feel this amazing?'' He giggled at my question.

* * *

''My home. Wait, no... our home. Ugh, this is getting depressing, sorry. I don't want to be a sad drunk. Come on, distract me!''

He pulls himself on the bed and moves my legs away to make some room for himself. He scooted closer to me, with a mischievous expression on his face.

Suddenly he jumps on me and wiggles his finger under my armpits, then moves to my sides.

''What are you -oh.'' _This little brat, prepare for punishment_. Seeming to catch the look in my eyes, he backed up as fast as he could.

''W-wait-!''

''Too late.'' I grab his wrists and pull him towards me, but something went wrong and now he ended up lying on top of me. It's the first time we are this close.

I feel his breath ghost over my lips. I stare at the pink, plump lips right in front of me me. _Shit, I need to pull away or I'll do something I regret later._

''Oh!'' I sit up and Eren falls with his back on the mattress.

''We should play a game.''

''A game?''

''Yeah. What do people play when they are drunk?''

''Spin the bottle was popular.''

''Wow, spinning a bottle? What a riot.''

''It wasn't really about the spinning the - ugh, forget it, it's not really a two-player game anyway. How about truth or dare?''

''I know that one. Eren, truth or dare?''

''Dare.''

''Heh, okay. Stand on the bed and shout: '' Levi is the handsomest, coolest, cleverest man on this world and I'd be lost without him.''

''...what.''

''It's a dare. You have to do it.'' He stands on the bed wobbling. I'm ready to catch him when if he falls down.

''Levi is the handsomest, coolest, cleverest, irritatingest man on this world - not that there is much competition - and I'd be lost without him!'' _This little shit. Just you wait and see._

''hmm, I allow it.''

''Okay, your turn. Truth or dare?''

''Truth.''

''What's your most embarrassing moment?''

''Oh shit, okay, there was this moment, years back... Kenny and I went to this town to trade. suddenly I'm pushed into a room with this very pretty,very nacked woman and I just - I was so confused. She started taking off my pants and - and I panicked and run out. Everybody saw me running down the street with my dick flapping in the wind. Turns out she was a prostitute Kenny hired to pop my cherry or some shit. He never let me live that down. AHEM, my turn. I dare you - ''

''Hey, you have to let me choose!''

''I dare you to put your mug on top of your head, spin around five times and walk back to the bed without falling over.''

''Pssh, easy.'' He does as instructed but on his way back, he trips and falls forward. Luckily I'm able to catch him before his head connects with the ground.

The music changes yet again. It has something slow and sweet to it.

''...Hey, C'mere.'' I tug Eren towards me and he ends up half-sitting in my lap. It gets tense around us, and I'm not able to hold back any longer.

''Shit, I... I'm probably gonna kiss you. So, if...if you don't want to, you should kick me in the balls or something.'' I cup his face and bring it closer to mine. _Kick me in the balls already, scream at me, do something. Don't let me take advantage of you. You deserve so much better._

But before I can register it, he presses his lips against mine. Not being able to resist him any longer, I move my lips against his, licking his lower lip, asking for entrance. I run my hands over his body. Still with clothes on, every touch sends electricity shocks through my body.

I move my hands under his shirt and feel the smooth skin beneath it. I'm dizzy and can't think straight. My vision suddenly gets black and I'm slowly drifting off to sleep. I can faintly hear Eren calling my name, but I'm too tired to open my eyes or response.

* * *

''Did you fix this?''

''Hmm?'' After this awkward morning, I tried to be extra quiet so Eren could cure his headache. I turned to Eren, who was holding the radio I repaired before Kenny died.

_Fuck, I should have get rid of it when I had the chance. I need to do something to get him away from that thing._

''Uh, yeah. It's a lost cause though.''

''You couldn't make it work?''

''Forget about it - It's useless.''

''I notice you didn't actually say that it doesn't work.'' _Determined little shit._

''Oh yeah, you noticed that, did you? Listen here, just because something works doesn't mean it's worth using.''

''But what if it could pick up a signal?''

''From who?'' _Not someone you want to meet, kid._

''Well, from other survivors, or a - a distress signal or a government broadcast or something.''

''Oh my god, Eren, there is no one out there. How many times do I have to tell you that? Just get used to the idea, okay?''

''......I was out there.''

''That's - that's different.''

''Is it? All these years, and you didn't had to be alone, Levi.''

''...''

''I didn't had to be lying half-dead in a room full of corpses.''

''...''

''So, you really think it's not worth at least a shot?''

''...Fine. You know what? You want to waste your time, go ahead. But I'm telling you, it's pointless. If I couldn't get a signal six years ago, why should there be something now?'' He turns the radio on, searching for a signal.

* * *

He looks defeated. I feel bad seeing him like this but I'm somehow relieved that he didn't catch a signal.

''Well, I hate to say I told you, but-''

''Wait, shhhhh!''

_No. Can't be._

There are a series of beeping sounds.

''Well, have fun while decrypting this on your own.'' _Hope he can't._

Shortly after I went back to work, I was shoved away from the table by Eren.

''Hey!'' He spread the map over the table, tracing his finger over the map before it came to a stop on the location I hoped he would never point to.

''Levi, look! This is where the signal is pointing.''

''...'' _Too close. Too damn close._ I make a circle around the spot where the shack is.

''See this? That's how far you get before you hit the red cloud.''

''But there are points marked outside the area.''

''Kenny made those. Long ago, when he obviously had a death wish.''

''So it's not impossible to travel outside the circle, then.''

''But it gets riskier and riskier the further you are out. Okay, maybe the cloud moves, but it sweeps in so fast it will kill you before you even know it. Nowhere's safe.''

''It's like you're making reasons not to hope.''

''It's just that it's not worth getting excited over some stupid beeps. We don't even know how old the signal is - the one who send it must be already dead.''

''But isn't it worth seeing where the coordinates are leading?''

''Worth getting killed? No, not at all.'' Finally he snaps.

''How much longer are your cans going to last, Levi? What are you going to do when you run out? Whenever you go out scavving, it's a place where you had been a million times before! Admit it - you've exhausted all you resources here! You are going to die, when you don't take your chance!'' I jump to my feet.

''Who the hell do you think you are, huh? You come here, eat my food, contribute every-sweetfucking-thing, and think that you got the right to criticize my way of life? If you don't like the way I run my little shithole kingdom, why don't you just fucking leave? '' _Did I just fucking say that?_

''We should both leave!'' I don't look him in the eyes, don't give him an answer.

I only look up when I heard the door slam close.

_I'm such an idiot. Why did I say that? I was trying to protect him, and now he left me. Left me. Left me alone. Alone._

I snap out of my trance and run after him, not wanting to lose him.

* * *

''Ready for this?''

''As I'll ever be.'' _Me too._

''Can't ask for much more than that. Well, let's chase that radio signal, shall we?''

I take a last look over my old home. The home where I lived with Kenny. The home where I met Eren. I will truly miss it.

* * *

''...what the fuck happend?''

I take in his scraped arms, the bruises blooming on his body and on his forehead, his ripped shirt, everything was covered in blood.

He smiled weakly at me. As he opened his mouth, but only a strangled sob came out.

''Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.''

''Le-levi, I-i'm so, so, so sorry.''

''Eren, calm down and please explain to me what happend, if you can.''

''... A m-mutie came i-in and.... and I think it- it was Isabel. We fought, and I run upstairs. When I was on the r-roof... I tricked her and she... fell down t-the roof. Levi, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it. I-i'm so sorry''

Isabel? how the fuck- no, no, no don't think about that now. I need to take care of Eren now.

''Are you fucking kidding me?''

''... She's dead now. I... I took care of her.''

''...''

_There should be a med kit here._

I search for the kit behind the bar, I don't find it but keep searching. _Everything is my fucking fault. I left him and he got attacked again, I can't protect the important people in my life. I never could. I'm too weak._

''Shit. Just wait. Hang on. Where's the fucking - SHIT! I really fucked up. How many years am I doing this and I just leave you here alone without checking - after... after I promised that you never... never have to do it again. After I promised myself I would protect you. I royally fucked up!'' _I broke my promise. I made him kill again. He would be better of without me._

**Bam!**

I slam my fist on the bar.

''DAMN IT! ...... oh, here it is.'' I finally found the med kit and start treating his wounds.

''...Thank you.''

''.... Hey, don't mention it.'' _It's the least I can do._

''I found a pretty decent place to sleep.'' After I'm done treating his wound, we make our way to our quarter for the night. Once we blocked every entrance. We settle down for dinner.

''Hard to believe this used to be the town I and Kenny would come to trade.''

''Trade? Is that how you used to get by?''

''Yeah. We'd haul our scrap from town to town, selling it for food and water, real booze, or sometimes more interesting scrap. But one by one, the towns disappeared.'' Eren silent for the rest of dinner.

I just watch him eat his mango slices, when some of the syrup dripped on his arm, he just licked it up with his tongue. Our eyes met and all off sudden a lot of images flashed through my head, I swallowed hard at those thoughts. I look away from his piercing eyes, not being able to take it any longer.

* * *

''They seem important to you.''

''Hmm? Oh, yeah, I guess so. Well, they used to be Hanji's. But she passed them to me. She was like a mother to me, took care of me when my mother died after she gave birth to me. But those goggles are really special. Like, my coming of age present or something. But I don't know, maybe it's stupid to be hung up by some old goggles.'' _Another person I couldn't protect_.

He grabs my hand and gave it a light squeeze.

''It's not stupid.'' I squeezed his hand back.

''Thanks....I'm sorry. For everything. For leaving before we could look into the bunker again, for leaving you alone today and getting you attacked... I... I'm so sorry. Because of me you get hurt constantly.''

''Levi... it's okay. It's not your fault. I don't blame you for anything.'' _You should._

''But-''

''No but's, I'm just happy to have you by my side, so sleep. Goodnight, Levi.''

''... Goodnight, Eren.''

_I'm no good for you. I'll just hurt you, Eren, please understand that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So why doesn't Levi want Eren to go to the location of the signal?  
> Does he know something that no one else knows?  
> whoooo knoooows. (~°-°)~


	13. Do Not Linger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so sappy, I can't even handle it. °-°

The next day passes in a blur. We walk and walk and walk, stopping to rest only when and where we can.

The landscape stretches ahead, behind and around us, barely changing. We find a small tin shed among a pile of scrap to sleep in for the night. By noon the next day, we can finally see some mountains in the distance. Once we reach them Levi seems pleased. Apparently, we're going in the right direction and the next step of journey is climbing.  This low, the walk up the mountain is not very steep. But it's still harder than the flat ground and it doesn't take me long to start panting.

_But there is no stopping. Not now._

The climb gets gradually steeper and tougher, until we finally reach a flat ridge wide enough to walk on.

''Now we need to find a way down this side that isn't, y'know, sheer cliff.'' Levi says while trying to get a good footing for his next step.

''Right.''

It's a very dangerous place to be - walking so close to open air and a long drop. Luckily, I have the incredible pain in feet to distract me from that fear. _My blisters must have blisters on their blisters by now._

''Hey, look.'' Levi points down below, where a sandstorm is whipping up.

Not too long after, the wind is starting to reach up here.

Balance becomes more of an effort and progress slows almost to a standstill. I keep catching Levi glancing at me, flexing his hands like he's ready to grab me at any moment, if I should falter. _We are almost on the other side, just a few meters and we're save._

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind sends me stumbling to the side. I try to steady myself with one foot, but the other one lands on nothing but air.

And I'm falling.

Levi's hand whips out  and grabs me by my arm, just before I go flying. I'm safe, but the same can't be said about my backback. In the flailing, it slipped free and fell into the abyss below.

''No!'' 

''Shit!''

_That bag had half of our supplies in it._

Levi lowers himself on his belly and peeks over the edge. 

''I can see it.'' I crouch down and follow his gaze - the pack is hanging by a strap a little way down the rock face.

''Damn it. We can't just leave it behind.'' Levi shrugs his own backpack off and digs through it. Producing a coil of rope, Levi starts tying it around his waist.

''What are you doing?'' 

''I'm gonna climb down. You need to hold on to the other end of this, okay?''  _It's a totally crazy idea. But.... we really can't afford to lose those supplies._

''Wait. I'll do it. You hold the rope and I'll climb down.''

''Heh. That's a cute joke. You lose points for bad timing, though.''

''Come on, Levi. It's my bag. And besides, I'm way lighter than you.'' Levi snorts and continues tying the rope.

''No need to get all heroic on me now. Just leave this to me.'' His small smile is kind, but only worsens the frustration churning in my gut.  _When is he going to stop treating me like I'm his burden to carry?_

He finishes tying the rope around his waist and thighs so he has a firm harness. 

''Tie this around a good rock and hold on in case I need you, okay?'' He hands me the other end of the rope and I do as he says, creating a very basic pulley.

Levi backs towards the edge of the cliff and takes a deep breath. 

''here we go.'' he climbs down the cliff, double checking if the rock he will step on next is sturdy enough to hold him.

I watch and wait, hands tightly grasping the rope. But as he continues climbing down, I realize that he doesn't need my support at all. Still, I remain in the ready.

It seems to last forever - this painful moment where I can't see Levi, hear him or know how far he has gotten. 

''HAH!'' 

''What!? What is it!?''

''I got the bag!''

''Great! We're halfway home then.''  _just a little longer._

The wind makes it hard to hear, but I can faintly make out Levi's little grunts as he hauls himself back up the rockface. I listen to every step he takes, so I can't miss the ominous sound of crumbling rock or Levi's yelp of surprise.

''Shit!'' Suddenly, the rope in my hands jerks forward. I pull back as hard as I can, but the force is already pulling me towards to the edge of the cliff. It takes a moment to realize  the full horror of what this means: Levi has fallen.

''Damn it!'' As I'm pulled closer to the edge, I can finally see Levi down below - swinging wildly, backpack in one hand, the other desperately trying to find purchase on the rock. With every second Levi is hanging in the air, I lose a little more strength to hold the rope. Any moment, I could go flying over the edge of the mountain to join Levi. 

''Drop the bag, Levi!'' for a beat of a second I think he is going to argue. But...

''...aaagh, damn it!'' 

It seems to happen in slow motion.

One moment, he's holding the backpack. The next, his hand goes slack and the bag goes flying down until it disappeared. 

Levi immediately grabs the rope with both hands and plants his feet on the rock. I keep it as steady as I can, and my hands and arms are burning when he finally makes it up to safety. As soon as he managed to pull himself over the edge, I drop my end of the rope when I find myself wrapped tightly in his arms. Then it truly hit me, like slap to the face.  _I could have lost Levi. Forever._

I can feel my eyes burning from the tears that are threatening to spill. 

''L... Levi... you're... safe.'' Levi pulls me closer, pressing me hard against his chest. I can hear his fast heartbeat.

''Thank you...'' he whispers between his breath.

I throw my arms around his waist and hold on as if he's my only anchor to earth. I must be crushing him, but he does the same to me. Unfortunately, he withdraws, his arms falling to his sides.  _There's so much to say but where to start...?_

''Let's... let's get moving.'' Exhausted and hollow, I nod.

The wind, the hit to moral, my arching feet - everything is so heavy on my shoulders, my walking slows down to a drag. At least the wind lies down by nightfall. Far away from the edge, me and Levi sat up a camp joylessly.

''Tch.'' Levi takes a moment to clean and bandage his hand, which is sliced down the palm.  _He must've hurt himself when he fell._

We ate dinner in silence. Not only does it lack taste, but we're splitting a can between the two of us tonight. As much food and water needs to be preserved now. After dinner, I'm sitting by myself on my thin bedroll, delicately working my boots off of my swollen, aching feet. After finally getting the left one off, I peel down the thick sock beneath to find blood in it. My bare foot is indeed swollen and red with irritation. There are a number of huge blisters on my heel. Though the feeling of air on the raw skin is a wonderful relief, the thought of having to go through the painful struggle again, with the right foot now, brings tears to my eyes.

''...hey.'' Levi comes over and drops into a crouch in front of me, peering into my face.

''Rough day, huh?''

The simple truth of it makes me huff out a sad laughs. Levi smiles back at me, his eyes tired and just as sad.

When I start untying the laces of my right boot, he place a hand over mine.

''Let me.''

''...thank you.'' His smile grows a little warmer before he turns his attention to my feet. He unties the laces and stretches them as far as they'll go, so he can work the boot off my foot with minimal discomfort. It's still painful and I can't help wincing. 

''...Nn!''

Levi's hands still, he looks up guiltily.

''Sorry. I'm trying to be as gentle, but... it's not really my thing, I guess.'' I chuckle at his comment. 

Finally, both feet are free. It's strange to look at them, because they don't even look like my feet anymore. These are some stranger's feet.

''You want a foot massage?''

''Really? You would do that?''

''Sure, why not.''

Taking my right foot in his hand, he starts kneading the aches out of it, careful to avoid any broken skin. I go boneless almost immediately. Sometimes he presses too hard or hits the wrong spot, but overall it feels  _amazing._

Over time, the heavy atmosphere begins to lift. Once the foot rub is over, I feel good enough to actually smile. Levi smiles back.

He streches and lies down, grinning up at the night sky.

''Look at that. The stars have come out.'' He's right. It's the first time since I woke up in this new world, I can see the distant white lights dotting the sky. Almost without thinking, I lie back, next to Levi, to look up at those breathtaking stars with him.

I hadn't realized how much I missed them. Levi shifts beside me and suddenly I'm aware of how very, very close he is. He slides closer, and I can sense his indecision.

I decide not to wait for him work up his courage and simply close the distance between us, resting my head on the expanse between his shoulder and chest. He stiffens in surprise for a moment, but soon relaxes, squeezing me closer to him.

''They seem so close, it's like I could touch them. I never took the time to appreciate the good things.'' He looks over to me. ''The beautiful things.'' He quickly looks away, back up to the sky.

The silence feels a little awkward now. I need to make conversation or do something. I think, until a idea striked that would take up a lot of courage.  _Now or never._

I lean in and press a kiss to his cheek. He startles, surprised and shy, before turning his head to face me. Pressing our foreheads together, he lets out a content sigh. 

''Feels good huh? Another person's body heat. Another thing we take for granted.''

''Levi...''

''I really...I miss...'' He sighs. Levi's head falls back against the ground and he closes his eyes.

''I used to drive people nuts. I don't think there's anyone I didn't piss off at one time or another, even Hanji. She would let me get away with everything but there was shit that I've done that not even her fucked up mind could handle... Heh. Figures that a guy doesn't know what he's got 'til it's gone, right? So, hey, what about your family?''

 ''Mine?''

 ''Yeah, you never mentioned them.''

''Well, I alway felt very loved. I had a sister, Mikasa, she was really protective of me. Bet she turned the whole town upside down searching for me. Then there were Mom and ... Dad. My Mom died when I was ten years old. She was the one who gave me this necklace with an key attached to it. And Dad, well, I already told you that he was the one who threw me in the situation I'm in now.''

 He continues to ask questions, and I continue spilling those bittersweet memories. 

''I'm sorry that you've lost them.'' When I look over at Levi, he is staring up at the stars again. I say nothing and stare at the stars until exhaustion takes my body over.

I fall asleep just like that. With stars burned into my mind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why, but I don't like this chapter at all. 
> 
>  
> 
> AND FINAL-FUCKING-LY THERE IS SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!


	14. Found you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I only say one thing: Angst and smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'm sooo fucking sorry!!! I didn't update in ....more than three weeks. °-° shit. I hope you can forgive me!!!!  
> I had a really hard time. First I get sick, then school kept me up for days and then my best friend went through a hard time and I just had to be there for him. If not, then he wouldn't be here anymore. I'm sorry, but he is my life and my only thing to lean on when times get hard to overcome. But of course you, the readers, are another thing that keep me sane in this fucked up city.  
> I'm still sorry for not updating and I promise to make it up to you.

We have been walking for the better part of the morning and Levi has been much quieter than usual.

Maybe he feels awkward after saying all those things last night or he’s just distracted. Whatever the reason, it makes the journey tense and seem to drag on longer. That might be bearable, except for the fact that he’s been keeping a punishingly brisk pace, walking ahead with long, fast strides, leaving me struggling to keep up.

‘’Hey, Levi.’’

‘’…’’

‘’Levi?’’

‘’…’’

‘’Oh, forget it.’’

‘’…Shit.’’

‘’what’s wro-‘’’

‘’Okay, listen, don’t panic.’’

My heart drops at his instructions and I can feel a cold sweat run down my back. He looks deadly serious.

‘’See the red cloud on the horizon?’’ I do. But that’s not surprising, I can always see it somewhere in the distance.

‘’Notice how we’re walking towards it?'' he's right. Unlike his strategy of changing the directions whenever the red cloud appears ahead of us,  Levi has been leading us straight towards it. Spinning around, I realize that the red cloud completely surrounded us and is getting closer.

''It's still far away for now, but it moves fast.''

''What do we do, Levi?''

''Well, here's the first thing.'' with that he snaps the goggles off of his head and places them on  _my_ head, fixing them securely over my eyes.

''Don't take these off. Even if some of it gets in and your eyes start itching.'' 

''What about you?''

''Don't worry about me. This isn't my first time, you know. We're totally exposed out here. Our best bet is to keep going, try and find somewhere to take shelter. Ready to run?''

I nod at him, a little hesitant. He grabs my hand and we both start running.

Levi said the cloud moves fast, and he was right. It closes in like a swarm of ravenous insects and the sky disappears behind it's shadow. I can barely see Levi anymore, but his hand is still remains tightly clasped around mine, pulling me onwards. My feet scrape and stumble over uneven ground and unseen rocks, but I keep going.

I try to keep my breath swallow, to take in as little of the smog as possible. But it makes it harder to keep pace, and soon pain is shooting up and down my right side with every step.

Suddenly, my shin connects with an particular large rock, sending me tripping forward and landing with my face in the dirt. I lose Levi's hand along the way. 

I feel around desperately, but my fingertips only touch air or occasionally rocks. 

There is no sign of Levi.

 In that moment, I realize I've lost everything. I can't hear anything over the blood pounding in my head. Down on the ground, the smog isn't as thick and I can take a little deeper breaths, just enough to bring my mind to focus on my next move. But there is nothing. I can't think straight. Not without Levi.

Tears of frustrations fall from my eyes and gather inside the goggles. I was tempted to take them off and wipe my tears away but then remembered Levis words.

_''Don't take these off. Even if some of it gets in and your eyes start itching.''_

_But I can't give up. Levi is out here, somewhere._ With new motivation, I push forward. With a hand clasped over my mouth, I take breaths as rarely as I can afford. I stay low to the ground, half-crawling, like an animal on its four legs. 

That way, I make it quite far, I think. But I can't see anything, don't even know if I'm heading in the right direction. But I struggle on, without stopping, blind and alone in the red cloud. 

_How long have I been pushing forward? Minutes? Hours?_ Time is slipping between my fingers, too quick to catch.

_How much longer can I keep going?_

_At what point should I just stop?_

_Is this really the end?_

Then, something changes.

It takes a moment to realize. My hand, which was stretched out in front of me and grasping on air, is touching something hard. Something hard and rough. I find myself against a wall.

At first there is panic, thinking that I'm trapped, but it soon changes to something far more painful -  _hope._

Feeling along the wall, I shuffle until my fingers slip into a long vertical crack. _A door!_

Wrenching it open, I fling myself inside and shut the door immediately. I fall back against the door, keeping it closed with my body weight, I close my eyes and wait for my breathing to even out. I open my eyes after a while and take in my surrounding. I'm in a barn.

Thinking fast, I grab handfuls of hay and stuff it under the gap of the door and the cracks in the walls. Finally done with keeping the red cloud out, I take the goggles off and the horrible reality of my situation settles in.

_I'm trapped in here, at least until the red cloud has moves on. Meanwhile, Levi is still out there. Alone. Unprotected._

_He might not gonna make it._ The possibility of never seeing Levi again is the last straw for me. I break down. Tears stream down freely while my loud sobs echo in the empty barn. My  whole body shakes while thinking that I might never see his occasion smiles or hear his shitty jokes ever again.  _I didn't even get to tell him... that I love him._ The realization of my feels for him sends me in another fit of sobs and more tears. _If I were strong enough, if I just held on more tightly, maybe we would be still together. It's my fault. My fault that he died. I love Levi... I love him.... I love you, Levi...._

* * *

 

 After what seemed like hours of crying, I was totally drained of all my energy. With the last strength left in my body, I get to my feet, wobbling, and head up a ladder. The ladder leads up to an loft area.

There's not much, but what  _is_ up here almost brings tears to my eyes again, it's so unexpected and somehow wonderful.

''A bed...'' At first I only mean to sit on it, but I'm too exhausted and just want to close my eyes and hope to wake up in the world I used to live in. I feel my heavy head fall on the pillow and then...

**Total darkness. I'm alone, somewhere I don't know. In the distance I can see a light and move towards it. As I get closer, I see someone standing in the light. It's....**

**''Levi...''**

**He turns to me and gives me a bright smile.**

**''L-levi... I-i thought that...''**

**''shhh, it's okay. I'm here.'' He opens his arms wide as an invitation. I try to move closer to him but no matter how many steps I take, I never came even a little closer to Levi.  
**

**''Eren? What takes you so long? Come on, I'm waiting.''**

**''I-I'm trying but... I can't get closer.''**

**''Eren, please come here, I don't want to be alone.'' His voice sounded broken and his happy face slowly contoured to one of pure pain. I tried to run faster, but it seemed to bring me even farther away from him.**

**''Wait! Levi! Please stay here!''**

**''Eren, it... hurts.'' Levi put his hands over his heart, falling to his knees, grunting in pain.**

**''What's wrong!? Levi! Oh god, please make it stop!'' I started crying, still desperately trying to get to Levi. Behind Levi, I can see red hands reaching out for him. Some of them wrap around his shoulders, others grab him by his legs.**

**''E-Eren...please...don't leave me.'' He looks up, blood dripping from his mouth.**

**''No! No! NOO! Please stop this! Levi! oh god Levi!!!'' I stumble and fall, but continue crawling towards him. _Please don't take him. Please don't._**

**''Eren...'' he reaches his hand towards me and I try to grab it. I'm too far away. Slowly, the red hands pull him out of the light, making his form disappear in the darkness.**

**''LEVI!!!''**

''Levi!!!'' I wake up.

_It was a nightmare. Just... a horrible nightmare._

I can see the blue sky, the sun low. I must've slept through the afternoon. I look outside the window and there is no lingering sign of the red cloud anymore. And no sign of Levi either. I try to stand, but immediately fall back on the bed. My legs tremble from the fear left in my body.

As I sit here, I think about Levi, how I lost him in the red cloud and that he never found this barn.

_I can't just sit here all day._

Even with no supplies, I head out to search for Levi. I shouldn't stray too far away from the barn though, in case I can't find him today. I walk and walk and walk, making sure that the barn stays my center point.

However, before I know it, the sun is already about to set and I didn't found a sign of  _anything._

I return to the barn, defeated.

_I couldn't find him. He... he must be..._

The tears come all at once - hot and painful.

_I'm completely alone. No food. No water. No plan._

_No Levi._

I take a deep, shuddering breath and head inside the barn.  _What am I going to do?_

The only option I have right is to go back to bed. Although, I don't think anything will be looking any better tomorrow. With heavy feet, I get upstairs.

* * *

When I get up there, my heart stops.

''...Levi?''

The figure facing the window turns to me.

''Eren! What the- What the _Fuck!?_ ''

''Oh god, Levi!'' Run towards him and wrap my arms around him.

Suddenly, He moves.

Pressing me against the wall, his fingers dig into my arms to keep me in place painfully. His eyes are wild and unfocused.

''You're unbelievable...''

He's kissing me, hard. Tongue forcing it's way past my lips, not that I would've resisted anyway. Nipping on my lips, he mutters words of disbelief.

_''Unbelievable.''_

He never breaks the kiss. His hands tremble, but still hold me tightly.

''How did you do it?'' I can only whimper in reply. His touch makes me melt right on the spot.

When his mouth moves away and down, I can feel his every breath against my neck.  This isn't like anything before, it's heavier. And it's not going to stop here. I can see it in his eyes - in the way he touches me. This means something. 

Levi is kissing and sucking on my neck, probably leaving a bruise. Teeth that occasionally scrape against my skin send a electro shocks down my spine. Tugging on the hem of my shirt, he slips it over my head and discards it to somewhere I don't care about. As he stares down on my chest, he takes in a sharp intake until his mouth is back, going downwards with quick little bites, drawing moans from me. He's rough but tender as he lies me back down onto the bed and climbs on top, all the while kissing me furiously.  Meanwhile, his hands are working on slipping my pants off. I'm trying to pull his shirt over his head.

Suddenly, the whole thing gets waaaay too complicated and we're just a tangled mess of limbs and clothing. After a moment we both start laughing.

''What the hell are we doin' here?'' Levi chuckles as he leans his forehead against mine.

Things cool down a little - enough for Levi to sit up and untangle himself from his shirt and for me to kick off my pants. Finally we both are naked.

He leans over, his face is warm and he looks at me with this loving gaze. I lean up to kiss him and he meets me halfway. I feel like my heart is about to burst when I think about Levi. His hands burn wherever they touch and I can hear his breath come out in heavy pants mixed with my moans and whimpers.

I feel his fingers running up the inside of my thighs towards my aching cock. His eyes are fixed on mine with hot intensity.

''Eren...'' He whispers my name in a deep and husky voice. Levi's hand reaches my aching hard cock and gives it a slow and sensual stroke. _Fucking tease._

To say Levi looks breathtaking would be not only an underestimate but an insult. Those hard and well defined muscles, the sweat on them glistening in the pale blue moonlight make him look like an god, his broad shoulders and strong arms. But the most gorgeous thing, his eyes. The silver orbs with blue hues come close to the most precious jewels in the world and are so deep that you could drown in them. And these eyes only look at me.

''L-levi...'' I moan his name as he slowly pumped my erection, using the pre-cum as lube. When his hand starts to pick up speed, he takes my nipple between his thumb and index finger and starts to tug and twist it.

The over stimulation brings me closer to the edge and soon I can feel the heat spreading in my abdomen.

''... _ah...l-levi...close...''_ shortly after I release, white ribbons of cum covering my stomach and Levi's hand. He gathers the cum and moves his hand towards my entrance.

''You ready?'' I only nod, not trusting my voice to even come out.

''Okay, can you relax for me baby?'' He takes my hand into his and softly whispers in my ear, placing butterfly kisses around my jaw. When I relaxed enough, Levi pushed one digit in. It's really uncomfortable at the beginning but when he starts to thrusts in and out I'm slowly carving for more. The pain is replaced by pure pleasure and I move my hips to meet the thrusts. He adds a second finger and makes a scissoring motion. 

''Le-levi... feels good...''

''This is just the beginning baby.'' He kissed my forehead and moved down to my lips, where he explores my mouth with his tongue again. Levi curled his fingers and brushed something that made me cry out. He kept hitting that spot, making my brain turn to mush.

When Levi deemed me prepared enough, he line up, holding me by my hips and staring into my eyes. In one go he's all the way in, grunting in pleasure and gives me time to adjust. I wiggle my hips to signal him that it's okay to move and hold onto his shoulders for support. Levi trusts in hard, making me moan and whimper under him. He changes the angle and hits my prostate dead on, tears already welling up in my eyes. It got even more unbearable when he started to pump my length again. Levi was sweating, and his grunts and growls send me further over the edge.

''...gonna...c-come...!'' I warn Levi, who just picked up the pace, thrusting harder.

''Come for me, Eren.'' I feel the familiar heat in my stomach and my vision turns white. Arching my back off the mattress I came over my chest and Levi followed with a low growl.

Still panting, Levi lies beside me, pulling a blanket over us. He brought me closer to him, burying his nose in my hair.

''Eren...'' He whispers and I almost didn't hear him over my drowsiness.

''...Hmm...?'' is my weak reply.

''I...I love you.''

In that second I was wide awake. I look at Levi with big eyes, who looked kind of nervous. _Did he just say...?_ The possibility of Levi returning my feelings brought a shit eating grin on my face.

''Levi.'' I wrap my arms around him and kiss him with all my might. ''I love you too, Levi.'' Now it was Levi with the wide eyes and the grin spreading on his face.

''Really? Wow, even assholes like me can be that lucky.'' 

''You're not an asshole, just a little too smug but it's bearable.'' he chuckles at that.

''We should go to sleep, it will be a long day tomorrow.''

''Okay.''

''Goodnight, Eren.'' he kisses my forehead.

''Goodnight, Levi.'' I snuggle closer to him, lie my head on his toned chest and close my eyes.

_I finally found you._

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning comes, and with it a reborn feeling of hope.

When I wake up, I can feel Levi's heat from behind. His hands lazily skims over my chest. His palms are rough but the motion his gentle.

''You awake?'' His voice is gruff and thick with sleep.

''Yeah...'' mine doesn't sound better.

Pressing a kiss tom my shoulder, his hand wanders down to my thighs and continues with light, teasing strokes. Signing contently, I relax in his arms. in response he hold me tighter, burying his face in the crook of my shoulder. 

''Fuck, this is nice...''

We lie together  in silence a little longer, until the burning question is finally asked.

''...Levi, how did you make it?'' he goes still for a moment, remembering the events of the other day.

''After I lost you, I...I panicked, didn't know what I was supposed to do. So I covered my mouth and nose with my shirt and ran for it. I couldn't see a damn thing, but I just kept running 'til it felt like my lungs were going to burst. I must've got lucky and managed to get out of the cloud before I collapsed. When I woke up, I didn't know where I was so I just picked a direction and started walking. And eventually I came across this barn and... there you were. Lucky son of a bitch, ain't I?''

''We both are.'' I turn to him, with a smirk on my face.

''That's true.'' He gave me peck on the lips.

**-Tiiime Skip-**

Before we lose too much sunlight, we get up and start preparing for the day.

Dressed, fed, and watered, I take stock of all the supplies left in Levi's backpack. At one point, levi sneaks up from behind me and puts his hands on either side of my hips.

''Levi...'' one hand slides into my pants.

''Levi, if we go for another round we'll never leave this barn.''

''Hey, don't stress you pretty little head, babe. I just like to put my hand right here.''

''Levi.'' I turn to Levi with a pout.

''Aw, I love when you do that, it's so cute.'' He gave me small kiss.

''Asshole...'' I mutter under my breath.

''Not an asshole, just smug.''

''Smug asshole.''

**-Time skip-**

 

Finally, we're ready to go.

We set out in high spirits. The sky is blue and clear, and only lifts me higher when we walk side-by-side towards our future. Okay, our resources are severely depleted, but that doesn't seem as grim as it did before. It's an uncertain future, sure, but it's a future that looked completely impossible yesterday.

''Looking happy over there.''

''Nah, it's only your imagination.''

''Right, right. Silly me.'' Levi is looking pretty happy himself. I still can believe that this is the world we live in, but if it never had happened then I might have never met levi, no matter how twisted it sounds.

The journey passes weirdly pleased for a long time. Levi doesn't miss an opportunity to flirt or joke around. Everything is going good, until...

''Hey-'' levi, who is a little ahead of me, suddenly turns to ask me something. unable to stop in time I run right into him and stumble.''careful!''

Managing to steady me in one smooth movement, he grins at me.'' Levi to the rescue yet again, huh?''

''oh, my hero.'' is my sarcastic reply.

''You got that right. You know that you can always count-'' Levi, whose eyes are till fixed on mine, suddenly goes quiet.

The moment plays out, slow and intimate.

''Levi...?''  
Suddenly he breaks eye contact and moves a few feet away from me. He is no longer smiling.

''Just forget what I was going to say. Let's keep moving.''  _That was... strange._

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long;-;  
> So why does Levi reject Eren in such a way all of a sudden? We'll find out in the next chapters....


	15. What to believe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short.  
> Sorry XD took longer than expected, because I changed everything in the middle XD Hope you enjoy! ♥♥♥♥

_That was... strange_

_Why is he being like this? What the actual fuck, Levi?_

I silently walk behind him, keeping my eyes fixed on his back, hoping to find an answer. A uneasy feeling is welling up in the pit of my stomach, but I ignore it and concentrate on the quiet raven walking in front of me. I think it goes on for hours, neither of us speaking a word. His back is tense and his hands are balled to fists, his knuckles turning white.

Over the course of the morning, his little flirty gestures whittle down to nothing. He stops joking around, his pace picking up and no matter how hard I try to hurry, he always manages to be a few steps ahead of me. And honestly, it fucking pisses me off.

''Hey, Levi?''

''...'' He doesn't reply. It makes me groan internally.

''Levi-''

''Let's just... focus, shall we?''

It's been like this for a while now, all attempts to start a conservation fail horribly. 

''Is... something wrong?'' 

''..............................nah.''

I really don't know what changed, but without me noticing, he has been slowly closing himself off. Dread begins to curl in my stomach. _What if he doesn't really like me? No, no. Don't think think like this. It's probably nothing. Yes, he probably is just hungry or something_ _, but it's not me for sure. Right?_

 

**-Time skip because I fucking can-**

 

''Hoooly shit.''

The quarry stretches out, dug deep into the ground. From above Levi and I stare at it in awe.

''Let's go.''

''What, down there?''

''Of course down there! C'mon!'' To be honest, I can't see the point in it. ''It's a good place to find shelter.''

''Bullshit Levi, We have hours and hours of daylight left. It's not even close to being late.''

''Listen, we have to make use of shelter wherever we find it.'' He's using infuriating you're-so-naive tone again.  _And here I thought we were way past that._ Prickling under scrutiny, Levi sends me an irritated look.

''I've got us this far, haven't I? Now you're gonna start treating me like an idiot?'' before I can even reply, he's already heading down the slope. Anger is flaring in me.  _This stubborn ass! Why does he never listen to me!?_ I just throw my hands in the air.

''Fine! Lead on, asshole!'' He ignores me and keeps going. I have no choice but to follow him down, skidding on the loose sand and rock. Down in the quarry, I can see a big, black hole in the slope.

''...A mine?'' I stare into darkness and somehow feel like something bad is going to happen.

''Damn.'' Levi perks up for the first time in hours, and I know the gleam in his eyes.

''Levi...'' He continues the trend of ignoring me and heads straight for the opening, me on his heels. When I catch up, he turns to me. His mouth is set in a grim line, but the excitement sparkles in his eyes.

''Let's go in.''

''I knew you were going to say that.'' I let out a sigh.

''No prize for that.'' Even his snark feels flat and unfriendly now. I can't help but ask myself what I might have done wrong that he has to treat me like that. He avoids eye contact, ignores all my calls and is insulting me. Just yesterday night he told me he loved me, but this feels nothing like being loved. It feels like being pushed away, rejected.

Digging the flashlight out of the bag, he turns it on and shines it inside to reveal a ramp leading down into the dark.

'' _You_ can find a good spot to get some rest, and  _I'll_ just have a quick poke around.'' Before I can say anything, Levi is gone. I trail after him, not willing to be left behind while he rushes off like a bloodhound with a scent. We travel deeper and deeper into the mine, the air is humid and is getting colder. 

''Man, I've never scavved in anywhere like this before.''

''What do think you're going to find here? I'm sure as shit that gold isn't worth anything anymore.'' It comes out harsher than intended, but he deserves it.

''I dunno. That's the fun of it.'' For some reason, I get the feeling that he doesn't really believe that. Normally, I would be saying something by now, but Levi's sudden distant attitude has me totally off-balance. I'm not sure what I should say, or if he would even listen. The mine gets increasingly steeper the deeper we go. There's nothing to find along the way, just darkness. 

''Maybe we should head back.''

''Yeah, sure. You go do that.'' He doesn't even bother to turn around and look me in the eyes as he dismisses me. His casual rejection hurts - like a short, sharp stab to the heart. Our footsteps echo unbearably loud in my ears. He keeps walking and everything - his suddenly distant back, the confusion, the pain - becomes too much.

No matter how many times I try to think about a reason for his sudden change, I always come back to one fear.

 _He only started acting weird after what happened last night._ The sudden realization sends even more daggers right through my heart.

''So, what? You had a good time but you're done with me now?''

In a flash, Levi stops and turns to me. He looks like he's been struck by lightning.

''Eren...'' He runs a hand through his hair and glances away, the feelings reflecting in his eyes - guilt, distress and... fear? ''Okay,I... I have to tell you something.'' He looks so restless. I reach out and tentatively take his hand in  mine. He gives my hand a little squeeze and gently pulls away. ''The thing is... I... Can you hear that?''

At first, it seemed like pathetic tactic to stop the conversation. But then I realize - I  _do_ hear something.

Like the distant rumble of thunder, or....

''Fuck!'' Levi's eyes widen, face hard with fear. ''Come on!'' He reaches out to grab my arm, but before he could do so the wall besides us explodes. Stone and concrete fly and Levi wraps himself around me to keep me shielded from the worst of it. I can barely see, over his shoulder, for the cause of the explosion - Hundreds or Thousands of rats come pouring out of the newly-made hole in the wall. I feel them brushing my feet as the run upwards, back to the mine entrance.

_**.....GROOOAAAAN.....** _

  _That.... wasn't the rats._

''Shit.'' Levi releases me from his arms, but still keeps a strong grip on my wrist. ''C'mon Eren, we gotta run!'' He tugs me after him and the both of us run back up the path we just walked.

  _ **CRAAASH!**_

An loud pounding comes from behind and I can't help but glance back - only to see the spot where I was just standing now buried under a pile of rubble.  _All those rats have send the ceiling coming down!_ I try to run faster, hand still tightly holding Levi's. We run for our lives, while rocks are falling down just behind us.

''Nearly there, come on Eren!'' I can see the light shining through the mine entrance and my body surges towards it. The rats are pouring out, ahead of us. Levi is pulling me now, urging me to go faster. But barely three steps from safety, the noise around our heads becomes deafening as the ceiling above bows and caves in. Something strikes my head. Pain cracks along the back of my head, my vision flashes white and then everything is fading in black.

''Eren!'' Is the last thing I hear before I black out.

* * *

 

''Eren. Eren, come on, wake up.'' I hear someone whisper beside my ear.  _Is that Levi?_ _It sounds like him._

Slowly, I open my eyes and bright light blinds me for a few seconds. When my eyes adjusted to the bright light, I could make out Levi's face right in front of me. He gently smiles down at me and I feel so strangely warm and comfortable. He brushes my hair out my face and places a kiss on my forehead.

''Come on, I made breakfast.''  _Breakfast? I thought we didn't have any supplies?_  ''Get up or you'll be late for work.''  _Work?_ I bolt upright and only then notice that I'm on a fluffy bed with white sheets. I look around confused.  _Where am I? Where is the dust bowl? Where is the red cloud?_

''Is everything alright? Are you sick? You're really pale.'' Levi looks at me with worry. That's when I take in Levi's appearance.

Instead of his dirty white tank top and jeans, he's wearing grey sweatpants and a dark blue, long sleeved shirt. The [room](http://cdn.decoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/A-more-serene-and-soothing-approach-to-the-blue-and-white-bedroom-design.jpg) is painted in a pale blue-grey, there is a fireplace with white chairs to the left side of the bed. The big windows are opposite to the bed and on either side of the bed is a white nightstand with a designer lamp on top. What draws my attention though, is the picture frame on the nightstand. There is a picture of me and Levi, smiling happily into the camera. In the background is the sea, children playing with the sand and people taking walks. 

 ''W-what is going on?'' This is giving me headache.

''What do you mean Eren?'' Now it's Levi who is looking confused. 

''Where am I Levi? Where are  _we?_ ''

''Uh? What? Eren, are you sure you're alright?Maybe we should call your father, or take you directly to the hospital.'' Levi went to grab the phone that's lying on the nightstand, but I clawed on his hand to prevent him from that.

''No! Please, don't! I don't want to go there!'' In my panic, tears started to spill from my eyes. The memories of my father putting me to sleep must have left a scar. Levi's eyes widen and he pulls me into a hug.

''Shhh,it's okay baby. Calm down. I'm here and we don't need to go there if you don't want to.''

''L-levi. Where am I?''

''In our bedroom.''

''That can't be.''

''Why can't that be, Eren?''

''Because we were in the dust bowl. You know, where I met you and you almost killed me.''

''What the- Eren, I don't know what you're talking about but I would never try to kill you!'' He takes my head into his hands and stares intently into my eyes.

''But... The muties, the red cloud, the fucking apocalypse Levi!''

''Eren, I think it all was just a bad dream. Here, you can take off for today so rest a little.''

''No, you don't understand! If it was all a dream then why did it hurt so much when I fought with Isabel!?''

''Listen here Eren, Isabel and Farlan live in France, you only met them five time and you got along with Isabel.''

''Then can I ask you something?''

''Sure.''

''What's the name of the song we danced to together for the first time?'' _If he knows this then this might be reality and everything was just a dream._

''Haha, of course I know.'' He lets out a chuckle at my question.''It's Vegas Light's from Panic! At The Disco.''

His answer left me stunned. 

_He really did know. So this means that.....everything was just a dream?_

 

''Eren?''

''Eh? Ah! Yeah, uh, I'm okay, just... thinking.''

''If you want, I could call Hanji to drop by and take a look at you.''

''Hanji?''  _The person who took care of Levi?_

''Yeah, shitty classes would barge in soon, anyway. Now, lie down and take some rest. I'll make an exception and make breakfast in bed.'' He lies me down on the bed and gives me a short, little peck on the lips and leaves the bedroom.

_It was all a dream, huh?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? how was it?♥


	16. The Fuck Is Happening?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain died here somewhere XD

I’m currently lying in the bed, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

The last thing I remember of the ‘’dream’’ is trying to run out of the mine with Levi, but before we got out everything went black. But if it all was just a dream, then why don’t I remember anything about this life? I never met Hanji; I never met Farlan and I’m sure as hell that I never was in this apartment.

_Shouldn’t I have some kind of memory of any of this?_ This Levi obviously knows me, and knows something about our time together in the dust bowl. Or here? I don’t fucking know and it’s confusing me to no end.

Still deep in thoughts, I only noticed that Levi walked into the room when he’s standing beside the bed with a tray in his hands. He places the tray on my lap and runs his hand through my hair.

I silently stare down on the plate. The scrambled eggs and bacon look so fucking good after months of canned food, but I can’t bring myself to eat. It feels wrong, it feels out of place, it feels _unreal_.

‘’Aren’t you going to eat?’’ Levi’s voice startles me. I turn my head towards him.

‘’I’m… I’m not hungry.’’ I avert my eyes and stare on the food again.

‘’Okay, it’s official. You are sick.’’ He said in a mocking tone, probably trying to ease the tension in the room, what didn’t work at all. He lets out a defeated sigh. ‘’Eren, you know that you can tell me anything, right?’’

I nod. At least I _think_ I can tell him anything.

‘’Can you tell me what’s wrong then?’’ he peers into my face, trying to find the answer in my eyes.

‘’I… Levi, I don’t remember anything. The only thing that I know is what happened in that so-called dream. I-I don’t know what to do.’’ My eyes are burning with tears again. I’m so frustrated and feel out of place.

That Levi looked shocked was an understatement, to say the least. He looked like someone killed his puppy right in front of him.

‘’What do you mean you don’t remember anything?’’

‘’Exactly what I said, Levi! I don’t know anything! I don’t recognize this room; I don’t know who Hanji or Farlan are! I feel like in a total different world!’’ Just months ago, I said these words to Levi after I woke up in the shack.

‘’I- Eren, what can I do to help you? Fuck, what am I supposed to be doing!? I don’t know what to do in this situation! It’s not really an everyday thing that your husband forgets all about you overnight’’ Levi is slowly starting to panic, seeming overwhelmed by this event gripping his hair in frustration.

‘’W-wait…We are married?’’ I’m totally shocked. _This is a fucking dream._ Sure, it’s nice that I’m married to Levi but it’s so unbelievable after all I’ve been through. The look on Levi’s face must be reflecting mine, total shock. Probably because of my question.

‘’You… forgot that we’re married?’’ I can hear the pain in his voice. ‘’We have been married for… for three years now, Eren. Hey, I really think we should go to the hospital, look at what’s wrong.’’ He delicately takes my hand into his, rubbing southing circles into it.

‘’I can’t.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Just because.’’ I can’t say that they made test with me, then put me to sleep for 38 years just so I can wake up in the apocalypse. Yeah, no. Not a good idea.

‘’Okay, then what should we do then? I can’t leave you in this state.’’ My statement put him slightly off, but I can’t blame him. I wouldn’t know what to do when the person I’m married to forgot all about me.

‘’Could you answer some of my questions?’’

‘’Of course, ask away.’’ He looks me in the eyes, and like always I feel like drowning in his beautiful silver-blue eyes.

‘’When did we meet and how?’’

‘’It was five years ago, the 5th Julie. After a party I found you sleeping I my bed, but before you ask, no drunk sex.’’ I stared wide eyed at him. _It’s so similar to how I met the Levi, if you exclude the muties, dust and isolation._

‘’So, how did our first d-‘’ I was cut off by the doorbell going off, squeaking in surprise. It’s been a while since I heard a real doorbell, or was it not?

‘’Must be shitty glasses. We will talk later, let her have a look at you first.’’ Levi stands up and walks out of the room. I throw the white blanket off of me and stood up, wobbling a little. That’s when I notice what I’m wearing.

I have an oversized, green pullover on (probably from Levi) which has a small logo of overlapping wings over the heart area, and with that some black plaid short shorts.

I walked through the door into a white painted hallway and followed it. It leads me to a homey looking living room. I quietly walk around the white couch, hearing Levi’s faint voice in the background, and look at more picture frames on the fireplace and on the coffee table. One particular picture of my family caught my eyes, and as I reached for it I heard someone speak from behind, making me jump in surprise.

‘’Eren! My little bear, how are you? Levi called me saying somethings wrong with you! Show me the boo-boo and Hanji will make it go away!’’ A slightly taller woman with glasses run up to me and threw her arms around me, keeping me in a dead grip.

I tried to separate myself from her, but she wouldn’t let go. I slowly started to panic and made a little distressed noise. Levi ran over and separated me from the crazy brunet and kept her at a distance.

‘’I told you somethings wrong with him and you almost trigger a panic attack! Are you fucking nuts!?’’ I buried my face in Levi’s chest while he shouted at the woman.

The playfulness vanished from her face and she became serious.

‘’I’m sorry, Eren. I promise I won’t do it again. So, let me see what’s wrong, okay?’’ Her tone was gentle and sincere, trying her best to keep me calm. I turn to her and look her in the honey brown eyes.

‘’Okay.’’

She seems pleased with my answer and motions me to sit on the couch. She sits opposite to me and that’s when I’m finally able to take in her appearance.

She has her brown hair tied up to a messy ponytail, she has a white lab coat on, underneath a yellow button-up and with it black skinny jeans. But what really caught my attention were her goggles. Those big goggles Levi always wore when we went on a scav and gave me in the red cloud. I stared intently at her. _She looks just as Levi described her._ Levi once told me about her, when we were in the shack and bored half to death, he described her appearance and told me about her personality. It fits so perfectly.

‘’So, Eren, tell me what’s wrong with you that sends you over the edge when I hug you like usual.’’

I snap out of my thoughts at Hanji’s voice. I stare at her for a moment and then turn to Levi, who nods to encourage me to talk to her.

‘’Um…I…don’t know who you are.’’

Her eyes widened, jaw hanging open.

‘’W-wait. What do you mean with ’don’t know who you are’??’’

‘’I don’t think that I’ve ever met you. But you’re not the only thing, this whole place and the people on these pictures are totally unfamiliar to me.’’

‘’He even forgot that we’re married.’’

At that comment Hanji let’s out a gasp, and I lower my head in shame. _Why am I feeling guilty? This is probably only a dream, or reality and the dust bowl is a dream? Great, my brain died just now._

‘’Did you hit your head somewhere? Did you do something out of pattern yesterday or did something happened that might have brought you to a state of shock where your brain desperately tries to forget and with that your memories?’’

She started to theories about things that might have happened to me and half of it she mutters under her breath, making it impossible to hear what she’s saying.

‘’I-I don’t know. The last thing I remember is running out of the mine with Levi and something hit my head, then I woke up here.’’

Hanji turns to Levi who only shrugs.

‘’I have no fucking Idea what he’s talking about.’’

‘’ Retrograde Amnesia.’’ Hanji mutters, and I’m barely able to catch it.

‘’What?’’ Levi asked in confusion.

‘’Retrograde Amnesia is the loss of ability to recall episodic memories and many times semantic memories that happened before a brain injury occurred. Retrograde amnesia tends be strongest for memories that happened just before the brain injury event. For example, a person who sustains a serious concussion during a car accident may not remember anything about his or her life for several days prior to (and including) the accident.’’

‘’And what is that supposed to mean?’’ I could tell that Levi is slowly losing his patients with her, but I actually understood what she was saying.

‘’It means that something must have happened that made him forget, Levi. The question is, what made him forget?’’

‘’But nothing happened. We went to bed like usually and this morning he woke up and was all confused and didn’t know what was reality.’’

‘’Didn’t know what’s reality?’’ Hanji asked curiously, and Levi nodded in response.

‘’Yes. He talked about an apocalypse or something. He supposedly fought with Isabel, there is something called red cloud and other stuff I couldn’t figure out.’’

‘’Hmm…’’ Hanji was in deep thoughts, staring at the ground as if it held the answer. ‘’Maybe a hallucination?’’

‘’Could be, but in a dream?’’

Those two were theorizing about what might be wrong with me as if I weren’t even here.

‘’Eh? Hallo?? Did you guys forget about me completely or what?’’ I waved my hand in front of my face.

‘’Haha, sorry teddy bear! But I really can’t figure out what might be wrong with you. Maybe we should go to the hospital? They have the equipment too.’’

‘’No.’’ Without missing a beat I refuse. Levi rolls his eyes and gets up.

‘’I’ll make some tea.’’

When Levi left the living room Hanji leaned over to me.

‘’Well, then I can’t force you, but really Eren, think about what Levi feels too. It must have been hard on him finding out his husband can’t remember him. Just look out for him, he had it hard the past few years, you’re like the only person left. I will leave him in your care.’’

She got up and made her way to the door.

‘’Bye bye, smug asshole!!!’’ She shouted towards the kitchen before slamming the door behind her and a course of swearing can be heard from there. I only giggled at her silliness. _So, that’s who Hanji is, huh?_

‘’God damn it, shitty glasses.’’ Levi was still cursing under his breath as he came back into the living room with two mugs in his hands. ’’She didn’t do anything weird to you, did she? Or gave you anything suspicious to drink?’’

‘’Haha, no. She didn’t do anything weird. She seems to be nice, though.’’ I take the mug he offered to me, noting the ‘Leave me the fuck alone, I haven't had my coffee yet.’ printed on it. Levi sat beside me, his mug said ‘Here’s a cup of calm the fuck down’.  _Why do I get the feeling that Levi choose these?_

‘’So, Levi?’’

‘’Hmm?’’ He glanced at me.

‘’Do you think I have amnesia or something else? Or is it all a dream and I’ll wake up in the desert?’’

‘’What the fuck are you even talking about Eren? What is it that you even remember?’’ His gaze hardened.

‘’You wouldn’t even believe me.’’ I dismissed him.

‘’Eren, I’m your fucking husband, it’s my duty to believe you and help you through this. What kind of man would I be if I couldn’t even listen to the person I love the most?’’ He gently takes my hand in his, never breaking eye contact.

‘’Promise you won’t call me crazy?’’

‘’I never would.’’

‘’Okay. The stuff I remember clearly is that after I went to a health checkup, dad called me and ordered me to his office. When I was there, he took out a syringe and injected it to me. As crazy as it sounds, I was supposed to take part in a program called Eastern Initiative, where people with 100% health were put to sleep for 100 years, just so when they wake up they could start to rebuild the world after whatever the fuck happened. But something went wrong and after 38 years everybody died in their sleep but me. I managed to get out and found you there, in the desert. We lived together for month. We both were the last humans alive and-and after I got a radio signal, we headed out to find the place that send it out, but on the way we came across this mine, you were kind off trying to distend yourself from me and went in, of course I followed. The mine caved in, and when we were about to get out, something hit my head and I woke up here.’’ I gave him the full story, and if doesn’t call me crazy, then he’s totally out of his mind.

‘’Okay.’’ _Why do I always go for the idiots?_

‘’Okay? What do you mean ‘okay’?’’

‘’I just don’t know what to say.’’

‘’You should call me crazy.’’

‘’Nah.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because I promised I wouldn’t.’’

‘’You’re crazy.’’

‘’I don’t doubt that.’’ He chuckles and pulls me into a hug. ‘’I’m always here if you need me.’’

‘’Thank you.’’ I burry myself deeper into the embrace, seeking the familiar warmth. This contend feeling draws the words right out of mouth ‘’I love you.’’

‘’I love you too. But Eren?’’

‘’Yes?’’

‘’You need to go back.’’ Confused I look up at Levi, who looks seriously back at me.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’You need to go back and protect Levi, he needs you.’’

‘’But you’re Levi.’’

‘’No, I’m just a dream, like everything else here.’’ He motions to our surrounding. ’’But it can someday come to reality, if you make it in time.’’ Suddenly everything around me gets blurry, including Levi. He’s slowly fading away, but his voice is still clear in my ears.

‘’He needs you Eren.’’

* * *

 

 

...

_Am I conscious?_

_...Am I even alive?_

It's almost impossible to tell. Everything is pitch black. I can't feel a thing. There is no sound.

Then, as if a switch has been flicked, it all floods back.  _Everything hurts._ My head aches, something wet is tickling down the back of my neck and I just know it's blood. With some perseverance, I'm able to force my poor body to move, slowly testing if there is any damage. Nothing seems to be broken, at least. I blink, but the darkness remains. Panic starts to bubble and I struggle to calm down.  _I can't be buried alive. That can't be what happened._

With trembling fingers, I reach out and feel around.

''Huh?'' I bite back on the panic as, no matter which way I feel, I only find rubble. Above, I can feel a new, low and unstable ceiling of broken rock that I dare not to touch for too long.

Miraculously, everything has fallen in such a way to give me this small pocket of safety.  _But for how long?_

As I continue to feel my way around, my hands land on something that isn't hard rock or concrete. It's soft and still.

''...Levi? Oh my god, Levi!'' My hands move from his legs to his face, not dwelling on the fact that every part of him feels soaked. ''Levi. Levi, come on...''

I grasp his face and whisper-shout at him to wake up. ''Levi, please Wake up.''

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo sorry for being late! Why does always something happen when I'm about to post a new chapter!? Ugh, see you soon! ♥♥♥ Thanks for reading!♥♥♥


	17. Figure In The Horizen

''Levi, please Wake up.''

 No response.

I placed my fingers on his throat, shuddering with relief as I feel the weak but steady pulse under my fingertips. I run my hands over his body, each limb, each finger, just to make sure he didn't break anything, but what I could make out where the deep gashes on his chest, making him lose more blood by the minute. I apply pressure, trying to at least slow down the bleeding.

''Come one Levi. I need you to wake up!'' I continue trying to wake him up, and get a pained growl in return.

''... Eren...?''

''I-I'm here!''

''... alive...?''

''It wouldn't hurt this much otherwise.''

''Heh, good... point...ughhh...'' His chuckle turned into a groan ''I feel like... I got hit by a building... or a mine... I guess.''

''Can you tell if anythings broken?''

''Nah, I'm fine.''

''Be serious, Levi.'' I really can't believe how he can say that and expect me to believe his bullshitting.

''M'tellin' ya... it's fine.''

''Nothings fine Levi! There's no way that can be true. Just-just take your time. Try and move your-''

''No point, babe.''

''Levi-'' I was about to scold him for acting tough, but he cut me off.

''Eren, listen... I'm not in pain. I actually - I don't feel ANYTHING.''

 It felt like being doused in ice water.

''That's... really not good.''

 ''Yeah, I figured.'' he sighed, what ended in a coughing fit. I carefully patted his arm in a comforting manner, but really didn’t know what we were supposed to do now.

‘’What should we do?’’

‘’Sorry, sweetheart. I’m out of ideas this time.’’ His voice was filled with regret, and when even Levi says that he doesn’t know what to do, it really seems hopeless.

I shuffle carefully close to Levi, and my hand lands on something sharp – His goggles, totally broken.

‘’… What’s up?’’

‘’It’s… nothing.’’ _Now isn’t the time._

* * *

 

Minutes pass by, or maybe hours? Levi’s ragged breath let me know he’s still there, still alive.

‘’… I’m sorry.’’

‘’Hm?’’

‘’This is all my fault. We must’ve disturbed the rats, send them into panic and caused the-‘’ He hissed in pain as he tried to shift ‘’Caused the cave-in. I’m so sorry…’’

I just stay silent. There’s nothing I could say that would change anything.

More time passes, and we float in in darkness until…

I shiver.

There is a sudden chill. _Am I going into shock? No! It’s a breeze!_ Blindly, I drag myself towards it and find a small opening in the rubble. I went to tell Levi, but hesitate about opening it any further.

‘’Go for it.’’

‘’But what if everything collapses?’’

‘’It will be a quicker death at least.’’

There’s no arguing with that. Carefully, I feel along the opening and push at the rock, widening it bit by bit. Eventually it gets big enough to fit my head through and even bigger. Until finally, it’s big enough for us to climb through.

‘’I’ll go ahead.’’ With no other option, I crawl through the opening on my stomach, scraping my shoulders, elbows and knees as I go.

It’s a bit easier to see on the other side. It looks more natural than the smooth walls of the mine. The cave-in must have opened a way into a cave system. Helping Levi through the hole is slow work, but eventually I got him free from the rubble. In this light, I can finally see him. Just then it strikes me how much he’s bleeding.

‘’… _ahh…ughh…’’_ His breathing got heavier, coughing up blood.

Now on hands and knees we continue onward, towards the light of another small opening. I could squeeze through, but Levi might have trouble, especially injured.

I help him through first. It seems so agonizing for him – scraping through the narrow gab.

‘ _’…ugh…fuuuuck…’’_ When he’s finally out, he drops to the ground.

‘’Levi!’’ I squeeze through myself, and come out on the other side bleeding from scratches, old and new. However, nothing compares to the state Levi is in.

Lying on the ground, breathing like every rise and fall of his chest is pure torture.

‘’Hey…’’ I tear off parts of my shirt and pants to bandage the worst of the wounds, but it won’t be enough to stop him from bleeding out eventually. ‘m not sure what to do, but first things first: A place out of the sun.

‘’Come on, Levi.’’ Hurt and barely conscious, he manages to struggle to his feet with my help. With one am wrapped around his shoulder and the other around his waist, we start walking. Wherever we came out of the cave, it brought us someplace new. There’s an old road, chipped and worn, barely a road anymore, but it has to lead to a town or something, right?

It felt like hours – and it could very well be – that I walk, step by painful step with Levi. I walk on, taking more of his weight over time as his strength slowly fades.

‘’Oh god, please, please, please…’’ I pray to everything in this universe to let us make it. Levi is also murmuring, right beside my ear. Barely coherent things. He’s delirious and no longer responding to me. Eventually I see a tall metal fence off the road – or at least what’s left of it. It’s easy enough to step through, more gabs than fence. Sweat stings my eyes, and I don’t have a free hand to wipe it off.

The horizon shimmers in the heat of the wasteland, and I can’t tell if the figures in the distance are real or not.

But I keep walking. I have to keep Levi alive.

I’m exhausted – my heart his hammering painfully against my chest and my bones hurt so much to the point of breaking.

Suddenly, all of Levi’s weight goes dead and I buckle under it. We both fall to the ground and he lies there. Unmoving.

‘’…Levi? Levi!’’ I shake his shoulder, my tears threatening to spill again. ‘’Please, Levi. Get up. Wake up. Please!’’

He doesn’t stir and looks inches from death. I try to pick him up again. I try to drag him.

_…I’m not strong enough._

Frustrated tears finally fall, mingling disgustingly with my sweat.

_I’m not strong enough._

Making a decision, I press a kiss to his lips and back away from his still body. For the first time I notice how much of Levi’s blood had dried on my clothes.

I take one step. Then another. Then make a run for the blurry figures in the distant that could be real or just hallucination.

‘’Help!’’ I cry out, to anyone who might hear me, to the world that has forsaken me.

‘’Please, I need your help!’’

I run and run until my legs fail me and I fall.

I lie in the dirt and shout till my throat is hoarse. ‘’Please! Anyone! Please, I need your help!’’

My remaining strength fades, my head falls back. The sky is an eerie pale blue. _If it’s the last sight, I ever see… well. It’s not bad._

I keep staring at the blue, until a black shape appears and blocks it out.

Barely conscious, the voice that trickles into my ear is distorted and muffled.

‘’Well, now. That’s interesting.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I'M soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for not uploading for three weeks! I had literally no internet and lived with animals. Like, I was on my granny's farm. They don't have internet, not even a toilet. Just a outhouse. AND now I have to worry  
> about my final exam in one month. ughhhhhhhWHYYYYY!!?!??!?!  
> Still love you guys, and have a good day!!111!!1!!!1♥♥♥


	18. Salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am so sorry guys. But I can't promise that it won't happen again.

It’s been six days.

Six days since Erwin Smith found me and brought me to the military base. I’m currently lying in my bed, in my room. Even after these few days I can’t get over the soft, clean sheets, and four walls that keep me sheltered. I get up and get dressed – A red plaid shirt, black jeans and combat boots, simple but new and clean. Might as well be made of silk, because they feel so soft against my skin.

Many of the cuts and bruises disappeared entirely, and the worst of them already started healing.

Once again, I’m stunned of how far I’ve come from the moment where I was lying in the dirt, waiting for death.

* * *

 

_‘’Well, now. This is Interesting.’’_

_I couldn’t see where the voice had come from at first, but fighting the blurriness I try to focus._

_‘’How on earth did you get here, little thing?’’_

**_A person! It’s an actual person!_ **

_A large man in camo gear stood over me, looking down at me with a bemused expression._

_‘’My friend…. please…help him….’’_

_That’s all I could manage before I blacked out._

* * *

 

I had been brought back to what turns out to be a military base, manned with nearly forty surviving members of a military force. Just the thought that we weren’t alone like Levi said was shocking at first and it still didn’t wear off.

‘’Eren?’’

I turn to see one of the less intimidating residents of the base in the doorway. A mousy old gentleman, with a thin, deeply lined face and gentle amber eyes. His name is Dot Pixis and is the resident scientist around here.

‘’Sorry to bother you, but… he’s asking for you.’’ In that moment my heart does a flip.

‘’He’s awake?’’ he smiles.

I rush through the halls, Pixis on my heels. On the way I pass numerous muscled men in army gear. Being surrounded by people once again is a strange feeling, and I can’t help but flinch away when I pass them.

I burst into the room.

‘’Levi!’’ Five days ago, when I woke up in the base, they told me they found Levi and brought him back. When I had left him he looked almost dead. And for the first couple of days after rescue he lingered in that state. But they bandaged him up, gave him a bed and allowed me to take medicine from their stock. For the past few days he had slowly improved, but still hadn’t managed a moment of consciousness long enough to say more than a few mumbled words. Now, he sits propped up in bed, eyes open.

When he sees me, he manages a weak smile.

‘’Hey, doll. How’s it goin’?’’ I throw my arms around him, careful not to hurt his wounds. The relief is too much, and suddenly tears are beginning to well up.

‘’Hey, hey now.’’ Levi’s eyes start to waver. ‘’C’mere.’’ Cupping my face in his hands, he puts his forehead against mine.

‘’I’ll… just excuse myself.’’ I’m vaguely aware of Pixis leaving behind us.

After a moment, Levi pulls back. His eyes are no longer wet. They’re sharp.

‘’Are we alone now?’’ His hands move down my arms, just above my elbows and hold on. ‘’This is an army base, right? These guys are military?’’  

‘‘Yeah…’’

‘’Have they asked where you came from?’’

‘’Well, of course they did.’’

‘’No. Did they ask where _you_ came from?’’

I realize he means the Easter Initiative. The Rogue Project.

‘’No, they didn’t.’’ He relaxes at that.

‘’Good. Whatever you do, don’t mention it. If these guys really are the military, that might be their project you walked out of.’’

‘’You know, neither of us would be alive now if it weren’t for them.’’

‘’Eren, listen to me. No matter how nice they’ve been, or how good they are… if they find out that their project was a total failure and you’re the only one who could make it out alive… You don’t what that kind of news can do to a person.’’ _Maybe it is safer to keep all information about the hidden lab to ourselves._

‘’Okay, I won’t say anything.’’ Levi finally let’s go of my arm and falls back into his pillow. His still really weak from his injuries.

‘’Hey… I know this is really lazy of me, but… is it okay if I just take a teeny tiny nap?’’ His eyes closed before I can even answer.

* * *

* * *

 

 

In the next few days I visited him as often as I could. He's getting stronger but is still bedridden, what brings his mood to an all time low, adding being depressed about his slow recovery and the distaste for his rescuers and you get the probably most irritating Levi EVER. 

And today is no diffrent with me sitting here and listening to his reasons to why not to trust these people.

,,Hey, tell me a nice story.'' Levi asked out of the blue, turning to me ,,One with an happy ending. Just take my mind of this shit, just... distract me, I don't care what you do.'' In that moment I realized jet again that Levi is not as tough as he likes to act sometimes, that he too gets scared and seeks comfort in other people, people that he didn't have for a long time. 

,,Sure.'' I smile at him.  _Don't worry, from now on I will always be somebody you can turn to. No matter what, I will be there for you. And  I hope you will be there when I need you._ In my head I promise myself that. And I'm not planning on taking that back, no matter what might happen.

 

And with that, the endless days of recovery continue...

* * *

 

 A couple of days later the commander of the base calls me to his office.

I don't even have the chance to knock on the door before he swings the door open and invites me in. 

,,It's nice that you could take some of your time to meet me, Mr. Yaeger.'' A man says who goes by the name Erwin Smith. He's a blond, tall and broad man who seems to effortlessly command the respect of all the man in this base. Althought with this intimidating appearance, he was quick to give us shelter and food and never had been less than a gentleman to me.

,,I hope my men had been treating you well?''

,,They've held their distance.'' he smiles ,,A respectful distance, I hope. Everyone here wants to make you comfortable.'' He reaches for my hand and hold it up.

,,Okay, um...'' I don't really know what to do now, so I pull my hand out of his grip and ask the question that had been bothering me the most ,,Why did you wanted to see me?'' I look around his office awkwardly and the thing that catches my eye is the radio system thats on his desk. The radio signal that brought us here.

,,Oh, of course!'' He chuckles as if he actually forgot for what he brought me here for.

,,I wanted to take you out.''

 


	19. Not Just Kill Or Be Killed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to take you out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin was really the target in the last chapter XD let's see what he planned ;) ~ Toda

,,...........'' 

,,........so?''

,,........... Out?'' He throws his head back and lets out a booming laugh, when he finally calmed down he grinned at me ,,Follow me.'' 

Out in the yard is a sea of jeeps, all past their prime but they do actually run. It turns out that this base is not just well stocked with food and medicin but also fuel and weapons, what makes the post-apocalyptic life just a little bit more liveable.

Erwin jumps in one of the jeeps and motions me to join him. Slowly ( and awkwardly) I get in the car, the feeling of the old leather waking some memories of the past. Never would I have expected to sit in a car again. Together we drive into the wastelands, there where I and Levi came from. Of course my thought drifted back to Levi and how much fun he will have playing with all these gadgets.

,,We will just do a few laps of the wider perimeter.'' I snap back to reality ,,Okay.'' _I am still not sure why he brought me out here though._

As we continued to drive I take in the surrounding lands. This land is empty, but not blank. Everywhere you can see that once humans lived here. Skeletons of buildings, abandoned camps and the remains of the fances that were supposed to protect the people.

,,Sad, isnt't it?'' Erwin ask from my left, keeping his eyes on the imaginary road. 

,,No, It's- it's quit inspiring, actually.'' Erwin turned to me with an surprised face ,,Communitys actually survived out here, with nothing and that for _years_. As long as there's some of us left, surely that means there is still hope for humanity.''

,,That's the thing right there. These people survived the end of the world. They should have been the best and strongest of humanity, but they died. Each and everyone of them were... too weak, and you want to know what made them weak?''

,,.....'' 

,,They had no structure. nobody to lead them. And that was their death sentence. You know, I have a vision, a vision for a new world.'' His eyes seemed to glint from his ,,vision'' and I don't know if I like the way it sends a shudder down my spine.

,,I am not just talking about survival, I am talking about rebirth. These communitys were divided and not strong enough, but we have things they didn't have, machines and weapons. And-well there are old government secrets that we hide under our carpet.'' He winks at me and my blood runs cold.  _No, it can't be that they have anything to do with the rouge project, or do they?_

I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to avoid anymore eyecontact  with him. 

,,But of course, nothing of this means anything without - well- men  **and** women. Without repopulation nothing will work.'' I can feel his eyes boring into the side of my head, as if he excactly knew what he was talking about, what I really don't. 

,,For now I'll just say that there might be a way forward. But, well it's.... a complicated thing.'' He  _must_ be talking about the Easter Initiative. And he said ,,complicated''. Does he know that everybody else died or does he mean something else?

,Hopefully I can show you one day what I mean.'' and from then on out we spend the ride in silence, me having a total mealtdown inside of my head. Like this episode of spongebob where all the little spongebobs inside his brain destroyed everything and themselves.

He makes an U-turn as if he planned to get back to the base when suddenly-

,,Shit!'' a mutie leaped out of nowhere on to th side of the jeep and was trying to get in ,,Hang on!'' Erwin warned me  before turning the wheel, making the jeep jerks sharply to the left, sending the Mutie flying away. But it recovers rather quickly and runs after the car.

I, on the other hand, was frozen the whole time, weaponless and exposed. I turn to Erwin, expecting him to grab his rifle but instead he grabed a whistle that was around his neck and brought it to his lips. He blows but I only hear the faintest of high-pitched sounds, the mutie however seemed to be in outmost pain, clutching its head in terrible distress. Erwin jumps out of the jeep and towards the mutie, still blowing the whistle.

By the time he reaches it, the Mutie is rocking on the ground helplessly. I thought he was going to kill it but instead he turns to me and motions me to come closer ,,Come here and look.'' Hesitently, I get out of the car and step closer to the Mutie ,,Look into it's eyes, really look.'' I stare into the Mutie's eyes. Beside the animalistic twist of its face, there was something deeper in his eyes. Panic. Afraid..... _Human._

,,They're not monsters, you know. Just because somebody is ill, it doesn't mean they are not a person. I bet... you killed a lot of these unfortunates on your way here.'' He looks down at me, a hint of anger in his eyes.

,,We... we had to.'' 

,,Is that what your friend had told you? That boy can hide behind his ''Kill or be Killed'' mentality all he wants, but isn't it kind of worring how easly he can dehumanize a person to justify murdering them?''  _No, Levi isn't the bad guy here. He only kills in self-defense. And if Killing them is bad then I am just as guilty as Levi._

,,You know Erwin, in the day and age we live in, I think it's required to kill to survive.'' I glare at him from the side ,, You're probably no better if you consider that you used to be soldier and even if these were to be still human, why are you torturing them by blowing that whistle so long.'' I turn away and head towards the car, that's why I don't catch what he said in response.

,,Because then we would lose the control over it.''

 


	20. Territorial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really just a chapter of Levi being boyfriend matterial

When we got back to the base, Dot and two soldiers were waiting for us. The soldiers came up and immediately took the mutie away and brought him inside and Dot gave Erwin a grim nod.

,,You can take care of him from here on.'' 

,,yes sir.''

Dot turned to me and ave me a reassuring smile ,,Theres an quarantine section beneath the base . Don't worry - it's heavily guarded.'' ,,We're keeping infected civilians contained while the scientists search for a cure.'' Erwin added ,,I better get back to work. Doesn't really rise troop moral seeing the boss goofing around.'' He grins and gestures inside. When I start walking he falls in-step with me ,,Still let me walk you to your room.''

When we reached the door to my room, Erwin turned to me ,,Thank you for coming out with me today and, you know, you can count on us for anything now. You're not alone anymore.'' with that he left and I fall on my bed, his words echoing in my head.

**The Next Morning...**

I woke up to knocking on my door. I get up and walk towards it ,,Yes?'' pulling the door open reveals an unexpected sight. It's Levi, and he brought breakfast. ,,Mornin' babe.'' he grins from ear to ear and I cant help but return the shit eating grin ,,Wow, you're looking good.'' ,,Hey, don't I know it, babe.'' I roll my eyes at his comeback and step to the side letting him in and closing the door behind him. 

,,I'm not gonna get any better if I just lie around and let myself waste away, right?'' he brings the tray over to my bed and we eat together. It's still stuff from containers but it's a lot less depressing with actual cutlery. 

,,Hey, so, I was meanin' to ask... you didn't happen to grab my goggles, did you?'' I think back to the cave-in ,,They were destroyed.'' Levi suck in a sharp breath ,,Right. Of course. Makes sense.'' ,,I'm sorry, I know they meant a lot to you.'' he just smiled weakly at me ,,Nah. I'm just being a big baby, ain't I? I could have lost something a lot worse. So...'' he looks a lot more serious now ,,What about my gun?''  ,, Lost in the cave-in. Along with everything else we had.'' 

,,.... and you haven't told them anythin'?'' He means the project ,,I haven'd said anything.'' ,, Good. That's smart-'' he was cut off by knocking at the door, Levi tenses immediately. I grab his hand and give it a squeez, trying to calm him down. He eventually eased up.

,,Come in!'' Dot stick his head into the room ,,Oh! You both are here.'' ,,We-'' ,, You got somethin' you want?'' Levi cut me off, glaring at Dot with narrowed eyes.

,,Um... I just came to invite Eren to breakfast.'' ,,Oh-'' ,, He's already got a date.''  _Well, this territorial behavior is new for Levi._ ,,So, you know, buzz off.''  Dot Looked baffled for a second but soon nodded his head ,, R-right.'' and with that he awkwardly left the room. Levi's eyes linger on him, hard and mistrusting. When the door closed I turned to Levi with a faint grin on my face ,,I never would have thought that you could get so territorial.'' He turned to me with narrowed eyes but in seconds they glinted with mischief and he's a wolfish grin on his face ,,Well, I can show you how territorial I can really get.'' Before I have time to react he pushes me down on the bed and attaches his lips to my neck, sucking harshly. ,,L-levi!''  after a while he finally let's go, licking his lips as he stares down at the spot where he left the hickey ,,Hmm, I think that it suits you rather well, let's make some more in other places.'' with that he pulls my shirt up but I grab his hand, stopping him ,,you know Levi, you can leave as many marks as you like but I have an much more fun idea.'' I smile up at him and he gets the hint immediately, crashing his lips on mine. 

* * *

 

Later that day I was heading for the mass hall to get dinner, smiling and humming to myself. 

Many of the soldiers are already there, looking more relaxed as they enjoy their meal, a few of them call out some friendly greetings as I pass them. I am gabbing a tray when I spottet Levi sitting by himself on a table in the back. The last time I saw him was when he went to snoop around the compound. I go over to him and sit down ,,Mind if I join you?'' ,,Only if you're alone. These weirdos put me on edge.''  ,,Weirdos?'' he sighs and turns to me ,,Look, all I'm saying is...'' he slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out a knife just far enough to see the glint of the blade ,,This baby is going under my pillow.'' 

Suddenly, Erwins voice can be heard booming over everybody else's. I startle by the noise when he really is just laughing with some of his subordinates. But as if sensing my gaze, he turns towards our table ,,Eren! What are you two doing over there all by yourselves? Come be social.'' ,,Tch.'' Levi deliberately looks away and honestly I rather stay with Levi even if all he does is sullenly poke at his food.

,,Can I join you?'' Both our heads shoot up ,,Erwin.'' Erwin takes a seat without waiting for an answer and even steals some jerky from Levi's plate. I can't help but notice that Erwin is still wearing gloves, even when he shovels food into his mouth. ,,You two must be having a great conversation over here, it's like you to are in your own little world.'' ,,... Not really.'' ,, Aw, he's so shy!'' Erwin grins and nudges me ,,I didn't know he was shy.'' 

**BAM**

Levi's fist slams down on the table ,,Fuck this.'' jumping to his feet, he kicks his chair away and storms out of the mass hall. I watch him go, confused and torn. 

* * *

 

 

The next morning I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. I leaped to my feet and run to the bathroom, emptying my stomach in the toilet.   _Maybe I ate something strange yesterday?_ I wreck my head about what might have caused me throwing up but it got me nowhere.

I was pulled out of my thoughts though by a voice calling my name ,, Eren?'' I turn to the door and see Levi standing there. Before I can say anything, the nauseous feeling comes up again and I have my head over the toilet again. While I was doing so, I felt Levi's hand rubbing my back and comforting me with his tender voice ,,That's it, get it all out.'' Hot tears started to roll down my cheeks, my throat feeling raw and burning from the acid. When it finally stopped I washed my mouth out and just  feel drained of all my energy. I walk up to Levi and embrace him, seeking more comfort from him and instead of an smug reply he just pats my head and moves us towards the bed. Lying on it, I finally can relax.

,,Are you better now?'' Levi asks concerned and I nod ,,Did you eat something bad or do you feel sick?'' ,,I... I don't know. I don't think I ate anything bad and and I don't feel any different besides the nausea.'' Levi presses his forehead against mine ,,You don't seem to have a fever either. Just take it easy, okay? If you need anything I will get it for you.''  I look up on his face smiling ,, Would it be too much to ask for an kiss?'' ,, Oh babe, you shouldn't even have ask for it.'' with that he pressed his lips to mine, tenderly and sweet like honey. 


	21. !Teaser!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will put out the whole new chapter today or tomorrow, just gotta type out the second half and correct it. :)

**!!!!TEASER!!!!!!!**

**\--** -  it's not alcohol that made him lose his tongue - It's loneliness, plain and simple. ''Do you know what I mean when I say the word '' _Rogue Titan_ ''?

_Fuck._

* * *

 

\--- ''The soldiers here... They are good people. We can look after you. We all look after each other. You don't need to depend on only him anymore.''

* * *

 

A scuffing sound and a shadow passing the doorway suddenly makes my body turn numb, heartbeat quickening. I catch a glimpse before it disappears from view and can't help but blink in surprise. 

The way he's heading leads to only one destination: the exit. Maybe he just wants to take a breath or maybe... he had enough. Following him outside he halts as he hears the door open again.

''... Eren?''

''Are you leaving me behind?'' 

* * *

 

''What happened?''

''Bandits. They must have had a camp nearby and used us like their personal punching bag. Every week they demanded food or water or anything they liked the look of. After a while they started asking for woman. One time, the asked for me... heh, a skinny-armed nine year old. Dunno what they wanted with me. I don't know what they were thinking but that's when we started refusing. They came back the next day, just... slaughtering everybody.''

* * *

 

''... Levi?''

He whips around, finally noticing that I am standing in the same room, and his entire body freezes.

''Eren....''

''How could you? How could you do this to me?''

''Wait! Let me explain, please!''

Not wanting  to hear anymore I ran off and back to my room.


	22. The Creeping Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why the fuck does life hate me so much as to delete my shit when I am trying to save, making me write this shit again over and over until I lose my shit????
> 
> That's a lot of shit.

The next night I lied awake, being exhausted but not able to close my eyes for more than 3 seconds. Finally giving up on sleep I get up and walk out of the room towards the dinning hall, surprisingly finding the lights still turned on.

''Hello?'' I peeked in the hall and find Dot sitting by the door with a mug in his hands ''Oh, Eren! Looks like I am busted.'' I just then realized the liquid in his mug is nothing other than ''Cocoa?'' I look him shocked in the eyes ''Well you see, I uh, had a secret stash. Do you want some?'' He holds up his mug ''Do you even need to ask?'' I say as I take the mug from his hands almost crying of joy.  _It's real Cocoa!_  I take a seat and before I know it , me and Dot might have been talking for hours. Just small talk but it seems to make him happy.

''I have to admit, it's nice to have someone to talk to. The others are fine, but you're lucky if you get more than a few grunts out of them.'' He says while chuckling ''You do seem... different than the others.'' I mumble while I play with the now empty cup ''I'm a scientist, so I suppose I am different. Once, there was a whole team of us eggheads, but now... well, it's just me now.'' ''Why?'' he looks down on his own mug ''This is a harsh place to live.'' He leans in slightly and lowers his voice, even though we're completely alone ''I think a lot of them blame me'' ''The soldiers? For what?'' ''For not being more useful. For surviving when better scientist died. Do you know... every senior member of stuff died and all access to their records with them. I was only a junior at that time  and now the entire weight of the military's projects lie on my shoulders.''

It's as if he's drunk, but it's not alcohol that made him lose his tongue - It's loneliness, plain and simple. ''Do you know what I mean when I say the word '' _Rogue Titan_ ''?

  _Fuck._

''U-uhm...'' 

''We had a lab, just under the base. An entire vault of the best and brightest scientists in the world, sleeping through the apocalypse. The current generation - meaning mine- started getting old, we were to awaken everyone in the lab so they could continue to work towards the rebuilding of the world. When my colleagues died before their time, I was left with nothing. I didn't have the necessary information to wake the people safely. I couldn't monitor them. I didn't even have the access codes to get inside. The soldiers lost their patience and blasted the door open just find out that everybody died while being plugged in. At least they died peacefully.''

I think back to the lab that I came from - skeletons lying their beds. Dot Pixie looks so old and fragile. Part of me yearns to tell him where I really came from but I know it's a stupid idea, so I just keep quiet.

''I'm sorry, please forget everything I said. It's all nonsense. Anyway, I was meaning to ask you about your companion.''

''Levi? What about him?''

''Is he okay? He seems... tense. Has he ever hurt you?'' 

''No, of course he didn't.'' Now I am starting to get defensive. I know Levi wasn't the most friendliest to me at fist but I know he wouldn't ever hurt me on purpose.

''Good, please I mean no offense. Listen Eren, I know you must feel like you owe him a great deal, because he has looked out for you in the past. The soldiers here... they are good people. We can look after you. We all look after each other. You don't need to depend on only him anymore.'' Finishing his last sip of cocoa, Dot gets to his feet ''Good night, Eren.''

After he leaves, I remain in the mass hall. 

By the time I head back to my room, it's already light out. Over the next few nights, I make a habit of going to the mass hall when I can't fall asleep or had to throw up again and couldn't close my  
eyes. Dot is always there, without fail, with his hands clasped in front of his chin, hunched over in thought. Tonight I'm a little later than usual. Well it can't be even be called night  
anymore. Finding the mass hall empty I settle at my usual table, waiting for the sun to come up. A scuffing sound and a shadow passing the doorway suddenly makes my body turn numb, heartbeat quickening. I catch a glimpse before it disappears from view and can't help but blink in surprise.

''... Levi?''

Wondering what he's doing out of bed, I creep to the doorway - I don't know  _WHY_  I am creeping but it feels just appropriate - and squint after him into the darkness. The way he's heading leads to only one destination: the exit. Any possibility that he might simply be lost is destroyed in one motion as he pushes the door open and steps into the dim early morning light.

''Where is he going?'' Even as I whisper the question out loud, I feel like in my heart I knew the answer. He's made no secret about his distrust about the army (not the BTS-Army ;). For days now,  
he's been unable to sit still. His body always tense, his eyes always alerted and darting around by the slightest sound, like he can't relax as long as he's in the base. Maybe he just wants to  
take a breath or maybe... he's had enough. Maybe his paranoia grew too strong while I was busy drinking cocoa with the very people he couldn't bring himself to trust. Before I know it, I am  
already out of the door after him.

Following him outside he halts as he hears the door open again, tension clear in the way his back flexes. He speaks hesitantly, without turning around.

''...Eren?''

''Levi.'' He sighs. ''Busted.'' Turning he gives me a sheepish look '' So, uh. You're probably wondering where I am goin', huh?''

'' _Where_  are you going?'' I narrow my eyes at him, expecting an answer immediately.

''Any chance I can get outta this without spilling my guts? It's too early in the morning.'' He rolls his eyes, turning away from me.

''... Are you leaving me behind?'' before I can stop the words spill out of my mouth, to what Levi's head snaps back to face me so fast that he must have the worst whiplash ever.

''W-wha-!? What are you-! Why- why would you even think something like that?'' Stumbling over his words, he reaches for my hand but thinks better of it halfway.

''Why else would you be sneaking out?''

''  _''Sneaking''?_  I wouldn't say I was sneaking! It's more- I was- It's not-... Look. I'm not taking off, okay? I just gotta go somewhere, and then I'm coming right back.''

''But  _where_  are you going?'' He silently looks me in the eyes ''... tell you what, why don't you just come with me?'' Sensing my hesitation, he hurries to clarify ''We will be out for a couple of  
hours, tops. Scav's honor.'' He holds his hand up.

''Okay.''

''Yeah? Great! Come on, then!'' A smile grows on his face at my word. Levi leaps up into a jeep parked beside the main door and motions for me to get in ''Our new buddies won't mind if we borrow  
their wheels, right?''

''Uh...''

''Awesome, let's go.''

After a few jerky stops and starts, the jeep rolls out of the compound ''Heeeey, I ain't too bad at this, huh?'' Once we're out into the Dust Bowl, Levi seems to know exactly where he's heading,  
not faltering in direction once. He keeps quiet as he drives, his jaw set in grim concentration. I watch the scenery zoom by until, finally, we come to a halt. There's not much different about  
this patch of except of a few small, blown-out buildings. Levi kills the engine and climbs out of the vehicle. I get out as well, and find him standing completely still, staring ahead.

''So, uh... this is my hometown.'' Of all the things that he could have said, this was _not_  what I was expecting to hear. Levi flashes me a small smile and starts walking around the wreckage of the  
ghost town.  ''They called it hope. It was supposed to be a farming community, but even back then it was a poor excuse for one.'' He passes through the missing wall of a three-walled ruin of a stone hut. ''I  
used to live here with Hanji, Isabel and Farlan. Sure there wasn't much space but... it wasn't a bad life. Isabel was lively but Hanji was bat shit crazy, would drive me nuts on some days.''

''What happened?''

''Bandits. They must have had a camp nearby and used us like their personal punching bag. Every week they demanded food or water or anything they liked the look of. After a while they started  
asking for woman. One time, the asked for me... heh, a skinny-armed nine year old. Dunno what they wanted with me. I don't know what they were thinking but that's when we started refusing. They  
came back the next day, just... slaughtering everybody. Hanji, she - she tried to hide all of us, but... one of 'em came and...'' I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze gently.

Levi swallows hard and continues ''She did her best you know? She was strong and so goddamn stubborn. She stabbed the asshole in the leg and shoulder with a knife before he...well, he... y'know. Then he grabbed me, but I don't think he wanted to kill me, cause started trying to drag me away. I bit him. Bit down on his hand so hard I could hear- hear his bones. Taste the blood. You know whats crazy? I  
can remember all of that. I can remember how he tasted. But not his face. Dunno if he was fat or skinny, old or young. He coulda been ugly and scarred to shit, or he could've looked like a prince  
but I just can't recall. Anyway, he let go and I grabbed 'Bel and Farlan and just run. Run till we collapsed, that's when Kenny found us. The fact that I left everybody else to get murdered by  
these bastards haunts me. I'd lost everything. I already felt dead.'' Levi closes his eyes for a long moment. When he opens them, They're clearer than they've been in a long time.

''Sorry for dumpin' all of that on you.'' One thing about Levi's story had been bothering me though ''Couldn't you have gone to the army base for help?'' Something dark and painful flickers across  
his face.

''We... we didn't know it was there.'' Suddenly Levi drops to his knees. Putting his hands on the ground, he takes a deep breath ''Hey, Hanji...''  _Of course, this ruined hut has been the closest_  
_Hanji had as a grave_  ''It's... uh. It's me. It's Rivaille. I'm sorry I haven't... visited. I kinda... run a long way. I guess I never stopped running.'' I go to my knees beside him. Levi gives me  
a smile before turning his attention back to the ground ''Actually, Hanji... I have somebody to introduce to ya. His name is Eren. He's a really great person. I think you would have loved him. I  
wouldn't have made it back without him. Honestly, I... I care about him. A lot.''  He takes my hand in his and holds on tightly.

 

After Levi said all he needed to say, we leave the ruins of hope together. Something in him seems to have changed. He seems lighter. Warmer.

''Okay.'' He climbs back into the jeep and flashes me a grin ''Back to the fun House.''

* * *

 

 

Just a few days later, I'm heading out to stretch my legs. Besides the nausea in the morning I also got cramps in my abdomen and I feel more restless than ever. Like I could  
just fall in bed and sleep for at least a year but when I try I just can't bring myself to close my eyes. And my temperature got up, driving me crazy because of the heat. _All that and now I feel like I am_  
_getting fetter, like no problem with that but that just can't be just a normal apocalypse flu or something, should really talk to Dot Pixis about this, who knows might be something serious._

As I pass by a group of soldiers milling in a group, they call out to me ''Morning, Eren. Sleep well?''

''Meh, could be better but thanks. How are-''

_**CRASH** _

Suddenly a loud clatter and the sound of yelling breaks through our conversation. It came from the direction of the mass hall. I start running. Inside, the noise has already attracted a lot of  
other soldiers, who are standing now in a circle only adding to the commotion. Slipping between them, I finally come to the center of the circle, where Levi and Erwin stand facing off. Levi flies  
at him, fist landing square on his jaw. Erwin barely stumbles, and is able to catch a second punch before it connects. I just watch, stunned. Numerous soldiers step forward to grab Levi, who  
starts throwing shots widly in all directions before he is finally subdued. Erwin, despite his bloody nose, looks completely composed in the face of Levi who is struggling to break free of two men  
restraining him on either sides.

''Get your fucking hands off me!''

''Heh. That was one hell of a hook, kid.''

''Why don'tcha fight back, you coward!'' Dot, who manages to break through the crowd on the opposite side of the circle, steps forward ''So, this is how you repay our kindness? At last, the Dust Bowl mongrel show its true pedigree.''

''You didn't hear what he -'' Levi starts but is cut of by Erwin ''Delivering a few simple truths, that's all.''

''Oh Levi, don't tell me you're still carrying a grudge after all this time.''

''A-a  _grudge_!? You guys did nothing when they came for us!'' _What?_  ''We begged you to drive them off, again and again but you just waited until... and when Hope was nothing but a bloody ruin, when it was too late to save anyone, then you came in and wiped out the bandits?''  _So Levi knew that the base existed. But why did he lie?_  ''Am I supposed to be grateful? Why did you even tell me that?''

''Because I thought you deserved to know. Besides our decision was sound. We couldn't compromise our base.'' Erwin explains with a straight face, a cold tone that send a shiver down my spine.

''You-!''

''I don't blame you for resenting the army for what you perceived to be our inaction on our part. But is it really fair for you to bring Eren into your little game of revenge? When you worked out that he was part of a military project, it must've felt like a miracle. To be handed the one thing that you knew that we would want.''  _Dot, knows? About the project? About me?_

''... It felt pretty great. Thinking about you stupid assholes, sittin' around with your thumbs up your asses, with no idea your experiment fucked up, an' I had the only thing that came out of it. He was the best revenge the Dust Bowl could have given to me. I could have lived my whole life laughing on the inside cause I knew you would never get to have him.''

''...Levi?''

He whips around, finally noticing that I am standing in the same room, and his entire body freezes.

''Eren....''

 _The whole time... the whole time, he knew that there were others out here. People who were looking for me. People who could have given me answers - the future - that Levi let me believe didn't exist._  While my mind tries to make sense of all of this, I start to back away shaking my head as if denying it would make it all go away.

''Eren, just listen to me...''  _No! I don't want to hear it._  I turn and hurry out of the room ''Eren, wait- what the- Let me go! Let me the fuck go! I swear to god I will kill all of you if you don't let me go!'' I hear his shouts get further and further away.

Barging into my room, I slam the door shut and lean against it, tears that I had been trying to hold back spilling out like a waterfall. Sliding down to the floor I lie there, crying till I black out.4

 

_to be continued...._


	23. I love you

I woke up on with a start, bolding from my position on the floor to the bathroom and emptying my stomach contest in the toilet.  
The fuck is it now? I really should get this checked out.

After I had calmed down enough to get back to my feet, I walked back to my bed and sat down and processed everything that had happened last evening. Levi just used me. So was everything we did just some kind of revenge plan of his? UGHH. My headache just seems to get worse the more I think about it.

Deciding not to keep drowning in doubt I make my way to Dot's Lab.

'' Hey, Dot? Do you have a moment?'' I say as I stick my head in the room

''Ah, Eren. Of course, come on in.'' He looks up from a paper and ushers me in ''So, with what can I help you?''

''I haven't been feeling all too great lately. I keep throwing up and feel really tired.''

  
''alright, it can just simply be the flu but I will take a blood sample and look into it. Does anything else bother you?''

''Well, except for the fact that Levi used me and I am some experiment of the government , yep just peachy. Where is Levi anyway?'' Rolling my eyes, I let Dot take the blood sample ''He's locked up in the cells down in the basement.''

''WHAT!?'' My eyes widen at the news ''Eren, remember, he did hit Erwin. The Commander of this compound. And to top it off, he used you. Those cells are actually used to house the muties we pick up. The boys had to shift them around to make space for him.'' I looked down, deep down in thought. I didn't even know that they locked him up. I haven't even gone to see him, but then again he knew. All along he knew that the military had an outpost here. Ever since we found the lab he knew I had an connection to this place. He knew I was valuable to these people, and decided he'd rather have us both die out in the dust bowl than bring me here. Here I could have a future. And he denied me that future for... for what? Wait.

  
''I was so blind...'' Looking back it all made sense. Why he didn't want to follow the radio signal. He must've known that it came from here. He used me. All along he used me for petty revenge. And yet....  
I remember the tremble in his voice, small he looked kneeling over the ruins of hope. I remember him screaming _''We begged you to drive them off!''_  
...Revenge for his mother. For Hanji. The town he grew up in. An entire community, dead. Because the military refused to help.  
What Levi did was wrong, but I can understand his reasons. Regardless, I can't deny that I'm hurting. How much of what we shared was real? We had sex. Did that mean anything to him? Or is it all part of a lie?

  
''... hey, Dot. Can you tell me where the cells are?''  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Getting down to the cells, I stand before a soldier guarding a heavy metal door.

  
''Mr. Jäger.''

  
''Can I see him?''

  
''Commander Smith gave his permission for a visit. I won't be opening the door though.''

The whole basement level is, in one word, depressing. A long stretch of Iron-doored cells, with the lingering smell of filth. I can hear the muties shuffling in their cells. The soldier guarding the entrance leads me to a door, opens the slot and leaves for his post.

  
''Ten minutes.'' I peek through the slot into the room beyond the doors.

  
''...Eren.'' Levi gets to is feet, but doesn't make any move to come closer.

''I, uh... I don’t know what to say.''

  
''Well, say something.''

  
''I... I screwed up. Real bad. I know I did.''

  
''So you were using me?''

  
''At- at first yeah. But I didn't know you back then. And by the time I did get to know you, it was too late to tell you. But I did the right thing in the end, right? I brought you here, didn't I?''

  
''You think that makes up for it?''

  
''Doesn’t it?'' He walk over to the door, face close to the small window. ''Look, I know I fucked up and you're pissed off, but I did a lotta good stuff too. How many times did I save your stupid ass?'' Levi gets more agitated and defensive, making me less inclined to accept his excuses.

  
''You knew there were more people out here all along.''

  
'' Oh, for Fu-! I didn't know! Anything could've happened to 'em out here since the last time I saw them. Everybody else bit it. Fourteen years is a long time!''

  
''... eventually, you're going to run out of excuses.'' I look him straight in the eyes, and for a moment his eyes flash with emotions I can't quit place.

  
''...'' There's still something important that I don't quit understand yet.

  
''You did bring me here in the end, even knowing it would expose you. You do the wrong thing, then the right thing and the wrong thing again. Everything you do just doesn’t make any sense. Just tell me why?''

  
''It's cause I've gone and fallen in love with you!... And I know I hurt you, being all hot and cold back at the barn. Guilt, I guess. I'm sorry.'' Levi averts his eyes, looking everywhere but in my eyes, slowing turning around and walking away from the door, shoulders sloped.  
I don’t know what came over me in that moment, but without thinking I blurt out my feelings ''I love you too.''

  
Levi stops in his tracks and turns back to me, while I try to not let any tears slip. Fuck why am such an emotional wreck.

  
''Are you serious? Even after everything?''

  
''Uh huh.'' He swallows hard.  
''You're- you're fucking crazy.'' His pale face turns bright red, slightly turned away to hide the blushing cheeks.

''... Thank you.''

  
Suddenly, we're interrupted by the guard before. Levi moves back to the door.

'' Eren, be careful. I still don't trust this shithole.''

''Will do, and you don't get into anymore trouble.'' I flash him a smile and his steel blue eyes soften with an small smile of his own.

  
''Times up, Mr. Jäger.''

  
''...Right.'' Casting one last look towards Levi before the slot is slit shut, I turn back to the stairs and make my way to the main level with an spinning head and heart. Things have never been more of a mess.


	24. What are you really?

A few days later, I am heading to the mass hall for breakfast. Most of the others have already finished, so it's pretty empty. Today I am craving peaches like crazy, which is nothing new since the past few days. And no matter what I eat, I just can't help myself but to throw everything up again and still feel like I am gaining weight. Okay weight is the least I should worry about in the apocalypse but I like my barely there abs, sue me.

  
''Hello, Eren. Come sit with me.'' Erwin is alone as he finishes his morning meal, which is unusual in itself. I hesitate and debate about sitting with him. On Erwin’s orders, the guards downstairs have not allowed me to visit Levi since the first time. Things feel vaguely weird and uncomfortable around here now. Nevertheless I can't exactly refuse the commander of the base.

  
''Things have been rough the past few days, huh?''

  
''They'd be better if I could see Levi.'' I narrow my eyes at him, challenging him to say anything.

  
''I don't think that's a good Idea. That man is unstable. A danger for my men, and you. He could stand to spend some more time cooling off in his cell while I figure out what to do with him.'' Erwin stretches, groaning as his bones creak and pop. It's occurred to me before, it strike me again how un-soldier like he can act sometimes. Like... more casual than you would think of a man of his rank to be.

Flexing his hand, Erwin - for the first time I've ever seen - starts removing his gloves.

  
''...'' Noticing my gaze, Erwin grins.

  
''Curious?'' Once they are off, his right hand catches my eye. From his thump to his first finger, along the meat of the hand, there is a huge, pulpy scar.

  
_It's almost like a... a..._

  
''...How did you get that scar?''

  
''Heh. Oh, this is ancient. Got bit by some mongrel pup a few years back. Little scrab of a thing, but it had a hell of a bite.''

  
_**I bit him. Bit down on his hand so hard I could - I could hear the bones. Taste the blood.** _

  
_**And when hope was nothing but a bloody ruin, when it was to late to save anyone, then you came in and wiped the bandits out?** _

  
''...Eren? Eren? Are you okay?''

  
''O-oh yeah, I'm fine.'' Rising on my unsteady feet , I rush out of the room, throwing some weak excuse over my shoulder.

  
My head is spinning. Suddenly, all of these strange suspicions have arisen in my mind, and I can't quite manage to make sense of them.  
Maybe Levi's paranoia is rubbing off on me, but... I don't feel as safe as I used to. Can I really trust these man?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
That afternoon, the hallways are strangely empty and quiet. As I walk around, I hear people talking behind a door I've never opened before. It must lead to a meeting room of sorts, because it sounds like there's a debriefing or strategy meeting of some kind going on.

  
''-from yesterdays patrol?''

  
''We bagged two of 'em.''

  
''Any problems?''

  
''No, sir. The whistle worked like a charm.'' _Are they talking about bringing muties back?_ I push my ear against the door.

  
''Good. The more subject the better.''

  
''Sir, what exactly are we expecting from these experiments?''

  
_Experiments? Erwin called them ''treatments''._

  
''If I didn't know better, I'd think you're suggesting the experiments are a waste of time.''

  
''N-no sir! I didn't mean-''

  
''Maybe the sound of weaponized monsters sounds boring to you?''

  
''N-no sir! I'm sorry! I spoke out of turn!''

  
''In the future, keep your fucking mouth shut and keep bringing in muties, or you can feed them, you understand?'' Erwin threatens in a dark and ice cold tone.

  
''...y-yes sir.'' _He lied! He doesn't want to help the muties, he wants to control them. Erwin kept talking about his dream of a new world... Apparently weaponized killing machines are part of that dream._

  
''-about Levi?'' Levi's name jolts me back into the conversation.

  
''- don't see why we don't just kill him'' One soldier said '' Yeah! one bullet, between the eyes. Problem solved.'' Another piped up.

  
''Problem not fucking solved, you dumb shits. Of course we are going to kill him, but we need Eren on our side first.''

  
''He practically is. Why are we pussy-footing around? He knows where the bunker is, doesn't he.''

  
''Yeah, we can just force him to take us there.''

  
''...bad idea'' At the voice my stomach churned. _Even Dot?_

''The fact that he even made it here is bordering on a miracle. If we act hastily and botch things with him, we'll never find the others.'' _The others? Oh god, they really believe that there are other people at that lab._

 

**...tab tab tab...**

  
Suddenly, I hear footsteps coming around the corner.

  
Pulling my ear away from the door, I make a dash for it, barely escaping from being seen.

  
Not long after, the meeting lets out. I loop around the corridors, avoiding as many soldiers as I can, trying to look natural.

Stopping by Levi's old room, I slip my hand under his pillow and grip the handle of the knife he once mentioned hiding. I curl in on myself, pressing my face deep into the pillow, which smells faintly of Levi. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. _I have to get him out of that cell and escape_.

  
''Eren? What are you doing here?'' Lifting my head off the pillow, I look towards the door, seeing Dot standing there. I tighten my hold on the knife, manoeuvring it behind my back so he wouldn't see it, and think fast.

  
''...Dot, come in.''

  
''Uh, sure.'' He takes a few steps towards me, open and defenceless.

  
''I need to know something.''

  
''Okay, what is it?''

  
''Tell who you are.'' I stare him dead in the eye, while his shift around nervously, not able to look directly at me.

  
''W-what? You know-''

  
''Tell me what you really are.'' I grit out, venom in my voice.

  
''I-I'm a scientist.''

  
''And the others? What are they?'' He stares at me, and I can almost see the wheels turning in his head.

  
''... not military. Bandits''

  
''The bandits who killed Levi's family.''

  
''They... killed a lot of people. They killed everyone in this facility.''

  
''Except you.''

  
''I... may have oversold my usefulness to them. Told them about the Eastern Initiative. All those people in Rogue titan. They slaughtered every other scientist stationed here, and were left with me - the useless one who doesn’t even know where the bunker is. Who doesn’t even know how to find out. Then they took over the base, and decided to play ''army boys'' while I struggle to find any small way to make me useful to them. ''

  
They killed the Easter Initiative project runners. No wonder it failed. No wonder everyone died. Just then it strikes me how lucky I was to get out of that bunker.

  
''I am not proud of what I did. But I am alive.''  
I tighten my grip on the knife and pull it out, pointing straight at him.

  
''We have to get of here. Levi and I. And you're going to help us.''

  
''Ha! Help you? I might as well let you kill me now, rather than to wait for Erwin to do it. you probably won't be as... creative as him.''

  
''You don't know how creative I can get.'' I mutter coldly, seeing how he immediately tenses up again.

  
''I'll take the devil I know, thank you all the same.''

  
''Is this a private conversation?'' A sudden shadow at the doorway startles me ''Sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear.'' My stomach drops.

  
''Men.'' Suddenly, two soldiers burst in. In an instant, I am disarmed and restrained by their strong hands. I keep struggling, kicking and screaming at them to let me go. Erwin steps forward, gripping my chin, making me look at him.

  
''Honestly, Eren, it’s a shame you had to fuck thing up like this. Take him downstairs.'' As I am being hauled away, I catch a glimpse of Dot. He looks conflicted, but doesn't raise a hand to stop them.

Not that I was expecting anything.

  
All the way down I kept kicking and scratching at them, once landing a really hard kick to the shin of one, making him groan in pain but not lessening his grip on my arm.

 

 


	25. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so who wants some of my productiveness ;)

The whole way down to the cells, I kept fighting.

Biting, scratching, kicking and growling like a fucking animal. Right before we got to the staircase I managed to free myself and jump on one of those motherfuckers, scratching his eyes out. He started screaming, trying to pry me off of his face.

  
As soon as his buddy gathered himself out of his shock, he ripped me of the human scratching tree and throws me to the floor.

Before I can even start to get up again he kicks me in my gut, making me roll over in pain. But that wasn't the end, no, he grabbed me by my collar and started punching me in my face.

  
Maybe three times, maybe ten, I don't know, just feeling the blood rush out of my nose and mouth. When he was finally done, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and dragged me the rest of the way, my head ringing too much for me to even give an effort to keep fighting back beside holding his wrist in a death-grip, my nails digging into his skin till it breaks.

The door to Levi's cell is opened, and I am thrown inside like a sack of potatoes.

  
''What the-!?'' Immediately, Levi rushes over to where I try to gather enough strength to get back up on my legs, supporting me with his arms. But soon it gets painfully obvious that I can't even lift my head off the ground. Levi, as slowly as he could to not cause anymore damage, lifted me of the ground in bridal style and carried me to an old rusty bed and lowered me down into the rotting mattress.

  
Sweeping the hair that fell on my face out of the way, he took in the bruises that are already turning into a deep purple under a coat of my own blood.

  
''Who did that Eren? Which of these motherfuckers did this? Fuck, sweetheart, I will rip them into fucking shreds and feed the leftovers to the fucking muties.'' His voice might have been gentle, but the venom is still oozing out of every word.

I stared on his blurry form with my bruising eyes.

  
''T-they want to... kill you... Levi.'' I whisper with an hoarse voice, stretching an arm out to grab at his black T-Shirt, pulling him closer '' They knew of everything. They want to use me. But now... they have no reason for you to be alive when I know of their plan. I tried to threaten Dot to get us both outta here, but Erwin found out. Levi... Erwin, he... T-there never was... any military... it's all bandits... the bandits that killed Hanji... Erwin is... the one who killed her... the man you bit years ago... I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry.''

  
And then the dam broke with a shuddering sob, streaming over the still fresh bruises. But Levi, he didn't say a damn word. This kind of silence such a frightening thing, that if you strained your ears you could hear the teardrops hitting the musty old mattress.

And Levi, he just lifts his own hands to my face and wipes away the tear track, pulling me closer to his chest and rubbing my back, as if it was me who is hurting the most right now.

  
Now being pressed up to him I can almost feel the emotions his being is emitting. Anger, rage, bloodlust but the most off putting is hopelessness.

  
He started shaking, and not being able to keep it any longer, he jumps up and started spacing the small cell, pressing his palms into his eyes, as if to physically push back tears, He punched the wall and screamed for god knows how long, but then it all went back to silence. Him sitting in the corner on the other end of the room.

  
So finally he ended at empty.

He's sitting there, staring blankly at the floor, and has been for some time. Nothing I did got much of an reaction from him.

  
''Levi...''

  
''...''

  
Talking doesn't work. Touching him does nothing.

  
Eventually, I lie down on the bed, facing the wall. At some point he moves to where I am lying, snaking his arms around me, pressing his face in the crook of my neck.

I don't mention the wetness I feel on my neck, I don't think about the way his shoulders shake with each sob softly escaping him. I just turn over and hold him to my chest, caressing his hair between my fingers, while he curls around me, holding on with an grip that barely leaves me any air, but I don't care. Levi needs me and I will be there for him.

 

* * *

 

I wake to the sound of a tray being pushed into the room through a slot at the bottom of the door. We both ate separately in silence, and I understood. He needed time.

  
''...''

  
''... Mornin'''

  
''I-is it morning?'' I asked surprised, not expecting him to talk so soon. It really is impossible to tell from down here. No window but an small lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, spending dim light.

  
''This is breakfast, so yeah.''

  
''...oh.'' at least he's talking again. ''So, what's the escape plan?'' I ask him, looking up from my bowl of beans.

  
''There isn’t one. They slip food through that slot twice a day. The guards never say a word. The door never opens. There's no opportunity for escape that I have seen.'' Icy dread begins to spread over my body, I've never heard Levi speak like this. _And when **he** thinks it's hopeless..._

  
**POV THIRD PERSON**

  
Levi Looks over at Eren and startles, eyes wide.

Eren looked totally miserable and the bruises made it only worse. Hastily, Levi tries to cheer up Eren in any way.

  
''W-well, I mean, that's just my pessimism talking, isn’t it?'' he's backpedalling, making Eren think that he truly must look miserable right now to shake him up like this.

If Eren only knew how much he really means to Levi. He's like the sunshine in Levi's eyes that's keeping the dark away, and Levi be damned if he let's the last good thing he has slip away just because he feels helpless.

  
''Don't worry, babe. The opportunity will present itself. And we'll grab it.'' Levi holds onto Eren's hand, pressing the back of it to his lips. ''We'll get outta here, I promise.''

 

 


	26. Don't Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went there ;) Fluffy, Smutty and Angsty.
> 
> I am already sorry.

Days pass. Long, empty days. My bruises already healed up, the only thing left of them are yellow-green patches.

You'd think, with nothing else to do, me and Levi would talk. God knows we've enough to talk about. But incarceration seems to have put us both in a strange, lethargic state. The only proof that anyone else is even still out there comes is when morning and evening meals are shoved through the door slot. It's a strange existence. Almost like I am not even alive.

I sleep most of the time. One day, I am lying on my bed, when I glance over at Levi and wonder how long it has been since his bandages were changed. Then it occurs to me.  _It's been a long time._

''Levi...'' I go sit besides him on his bed. Reaching out a hand, I hesitate over the bandages on his right arm ''Maybe it's time?'' He shakes his head, his overgrown bangs covering his eyes.

Now hat I take in his whole form, this seems far from the Levi I met back at the shack. What used to be his clean cut undercut is grown out and his bangs already covered his ears, small scares littering his face from the cave in. Unlike him, I barely have any scares left from the cave in, thanks to him protecting me from most of the rubble that fell on us, my hair on the other hand is already at a shoulder length. 

''Nah, l-let's not.'' Despite his reluctance, I knew it was high time for these filthy bandages to come off. ''Well you don't have to...'' I trail off while looking off to the side, knowing that this will get him to cooperate.

''...oh, that's so dirty. Now I look like a wuss... Okay, fine! You win.'' He shrugs and leans back, acting like he couldn't care less, but I know better. Starting with his arms, I carefully unwind the bandages from his nearly-healed wounds. By the time I reach his face, Levi stiffened with tension. My eyes over the newly exposed skin,  taking in the change to the landscape of Levi's body. His eyes are fixed off to the side, avoiding mine. A scar runs down from the top of his left brow to the higher part of his cheekbone, also a diagonal scar on the right side of his forehead that is easily covered by his bangs.

''It's not like we got a mirror, but I guess I don't need one, huh? The arms are bad enough, but how about the face. What's the damage? How gross is it?'' he's scared. Embarrassed about the scares on his face. It's so strangely out-of-character that it has never occurred to me. _How long has he been feeling like this?_ Placing a hand on either side of his face, I trace the path of the scars with my thumps.

''C-come on, Eren, you're killin' me here.'' I ignore how thick and unsteady his voice sounds as he closes his own hands gently around my wrists ''Guess it can't be too bad, if you don't mind touchn' it.'' with a smile I pull him closer to me and land a kiss on his lips, pulling away after he relaxed into the kiss ''I still love you, Levi. These don't change that and honestly, they are pretty hot.'' 

''Oh, yeah? Kinda manly,I guess. I must look like one mean motherfucker now, right?'' he sighs, not meeting my eyes. But after a moment he turns back to me with a guilt ridden face.

''...Listen. I've been meaning to to say some stuff.'' He scoots back a little, putting some distance between us, but staying close ''I did a really shitty thing to you, back at the barn. I mean- the _thing_ wasn't shitty. W-what we did wasn't shitty.It was- it was great. Really great. That's why I... I acted like such a tool afterwards. Cause we'd this awesome moment and all along I was- I was keeping stuff from you. Important stuff. And I handled it by acting like an even bigger tool. A real gentleman, ain't I? I've done so many bad things. I lied to you. I was keeping you like some revenge trophy or something. I led you into a fucking deathtrap. I didn't even wanna go into that stupid mine. It's just that- I knew we were getting close to this place. I just wanted to put off that moment for as long as I could... That moment when you'd see me for what I am.''

''Levi...'' He waves his hands ''You don't have to say anything. This is just me apologizing, okay? I'm sorry, and I won't lie to you again.'' He reaches out, taking my hand in his ''...and I love you.'' A small smile starts to tug at the corners of his lips, for the first time in... a long time. Tears well up in my eyes, making Levi a blurry mess, and it doesn't take long for them to fall. Of course Levi is there to wipe them away.

''Thanks... Eren.'' I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against his, and almost immediately he responses, deepening the kiss and running his hands through my hair. He put more weight into it, pushing me back onto the bed with him on top of me. Hands that are gently brushing over my body make me gasp and Levi takes the chance to push his tongue past my lips, drawing moans from both of us. We pull away at some point to catch out breaths.

''Levi...I love you too.'' He chuckles, brushing hair out of my face, his face full of adoration. 

 

**POV Third Person**

 

Levi started to leave soft kisses on Eren's collarbone and eventually changing them into little bites. Eren's breathing became faster when Levi's hands slide under his shirt, completly removing it.

"Levi.. maybe we, ahh, shouldn't..." but Levi didn’t listen and moved his arm back again, his hand roaming over Eren’s chest, his fingers dancing along his skin, moving down further and further to the hem of Eren's jeans, pushing them down together with his boxers. Eren's face lit up crimson as Levi kneels unmoving between his legs, just staring at him.

''Don't stare.'' Levi's lust-blown steel eyes snap up to his emerald ones, possibly even getting darker with desire.

''Back at the barn I didn't take the time to appreciate your body but god damn I am a real lucky bastard, aren't I?'' running his milky hands over Eren's soft caramel-skin, the way Levi's hands slid down his body, is making goosebumps rise on his skin. Levi brought his lips down on Eren's, much rougher than before. The moans and whimpers that are drawn out of Eren's throat are music to Levi's ears. This is his, and no one else's.

Levi broke away from the kiss once more , in favor of removing his shirt, smirking at the way Eren is eyeballing him ''Like what you see?''

''L-levi...'' Eren moved his legs up to wrap them around Levi's waist and started tugging on his belt. Getting off the bed, Levi got rid of his jeans and combat boots, not once breaking eye contact with the brunet. 

Now with both of them nude, Levi moved back onto the mattress, their erections brushing in that process, pulling moans from both. Eren shuddered as rough but gentle fingers caressed his member. Eren began to grind himself into Levi's hand while said man moved his lips to Eren's hardened nipples. 

“God I love you so much.” Levi spoke in a hush tone, almost an exasperated one, like he had to, he needed to say those words in order to live, and Eren's heart pounded in his chest, threatening to burst right out.

"I love you too." his voice just a whisper as he gazed up at him, hands coming up to cup his face, feeling the warmth of his skin. Levi moved his hand to Erens face, urging him to take his fingers in his mouth. Opening up, they slip inside, and Eren makes work on sucking on them and coating them in saliva. The hand on his member picked up on pace.

Deeming his fingers wet enough, Levi moves them to Eren's entrance, his other hand was wrapped around both their erections, sliding up and down and rubbing their lengths together. Immediately Eren responded by bucking his hips up into the touch, pressing their bodies even closer. Levi took this opportunity to slide in one finger completely. Levi finds the prostate and abuses it  with his finger, enjoying the way Eren squirms and moans louder from his touch, before sliding in another one. He hits the prostate only once more, before entering another finger and spreading them out.

Not once did Levi take his eyes off of Eren, wanting to drink in every expression he has to offer. Eren had no idea how long those fingers had been stretching him, teasing his walls, but suddenly they were pulled out, hovering above him Levi was staring down, dark eyes seeming even darker, face flushed lightly to finally give it some color and lips parted to let out puffs of air.

Levi grabbed his own length and started guiding it towards Eren's entrance. A soft whine escaped Eren as the head pushed against the ring of muscles, inching forward up to the hilt. He adjusts himself before setting a steady pace, releasing all of their sounds of pleasure. Levi grips Eren’s hip tighter and bends over to nip at his neck before giving Eren a slow kiss that held many different emotions and feelings.

Eren was staring up at Levi, his eyes rolled back as Levi suddenly hit his bag of nerves. His mouth lay open as his legs start shaking and clawed his nail into Levi's back. The other man hit that spot repeatedly, letting his own sounds tumble out of his mouth that mix with the sound of skin slapping against skin and Eren’s voice moaning his name. Levi pulls out almost completely before slamming himself back onto that one spot, making Eren scream and moan in pleasure each time.

''F-fuck Levi...ahh!'' Levi starts a faster and harder rate, Eren's moaning driving him crazy, sweat starting to form on his forehead and back. The sting of Eren scratching his back open is making Levi moan in pleasure.

''I'm- I'm close L-levi!'' Levi pumps Eren in sync with his thrusting ''Me too. Come for me Eren.'' 

Nearly at the same time, both of them come. Eren came between their bodies, cum staining both their abdomens. Warmth spread through Levi's body, making it feel as if his skin was tingling all over and then he released inside of Eren, slowly riding out his orgasm. They stayed like that for a little longer, their bodies still linked together until Levi had enough and pushed himself off of Eren's body, lying down besides him and pulling him close to his chest. Peppering Eren's nape with kisses and bites, a smile forms on his face, not a smirk or a small twitch of his lips, no, a genuine smile that brightens up his whole face.

''How the fuck do I deserve someone as beautiful as you? '' Pulling Eren closer, if that's even possible, Levi covers their bodys with the thin blanket. Eren turns around and faces Levi, their noses brushing against each other.

''mmhm, being the lucky bastard you are it wouldn't be far fetched.'' both broke into a fit of giggles, like some teenage girls. Sharing a sweet kiss, steel blue meets emerald.

''When do you think we're getting out of here?'' Eren mumbled. ''I don't know, but I will get us out of here. I won't let them touch one hair on your head, count on that. You're mine, and even if they try kill me, I will happily lay my life to get you out of here safely.''

''Don't talk like that! We either both are getting out of here, or none of us two. I can't survive for long without you and you know it.'' A sad expression crosses Levi's face at Eren's words.

''Eren...'' ''No, like I am yours, you'r mine and nobody gets in my way. And even if I have to kill every motherfucker in here with a spoon, I will.'' that brought a chuckle out of Levi.

''Heh, that was kinda hot, not gonna lie.'' Dropping a kiss on Eren's forehead, Levi snatches up a piece of cloth from the ground and cleans both himself and Eren up. After pulling his jeans on and dressing Eren in his black shirt, since Eren's own got blood from the time the guard beat him up, they lie back down.

''Now rest up. We gotta be ready when we get an opportunity.'' sharing one last kiss they fall into dreamless slumber.

 

**POV Eren**

 

The next day after the morning, some time after the morning meal, the door open. In milliseconds Levi is on his feet, shielding me with his body. Two men pushed their way into the cell, moving towards Levi and me. The lanky one of them lunged at Levi, who dodged just in time for the guy to kiss the ground. Growling, he gets back up again and swings all around him, trying to land a hit on Levi. This caused Levi to move slightly away from me to avoid me getting hit.

The muscle-pig used the distraction to grab me around my waist and hauling me towards the door.

''LEVI!'' I let out a shriek, but not long after hit the ground. I turn around and see how muscle-pig gets his heads smashed in by Levi while shit-on-a-stick tries to pull him off. That costs him a punch in the face, knocking him out. Muscle-pig already gave up at that point. 

When Levi was sure they wouldn't get up again he moves back to me, gathering me in  his arms and positioned us in the furthest corner from the door. About two minutes late, it opens again, this time a group of ten moves inside. Levi let's out a low growl like some wild animal, pressing me harder behind him. 

''Take one step closer and you're going to lose your heads!'' that didn't seem to face them in slightest, advancing so far that there isn't any way to escape. ''Eren...'' Levi whispers towards me, but not taking his eyes off the men ''Don't let me go, no matter what.'' 

''Okay.'' I cling onto him like a koala, knuckles turning white with how hard I am holding on. They lunged at us all at the same time, pulling on me and trying to rip me off of Levi, while he gave out punches and kicks at anyone that dared to touch us. Five of them pulled Levi to the ground, me coming after him, even though three were grabbing on the me.

In the middle of this chaos Levi grabbed my hands in a death grip, kicking at them from his position on the ground. Two of the motherfuckers grabbed my legs all of a sudden and started pulling me towards the door. Levi was trying to pull me back but all the other eight threw themselves on top of him, holding him down so he wouldn't be able to use any of his strength. I still haven't let go of his hand, our hands the only thing that is holding us together at the moment.

''Levi...'' I look fearfully into Levi's eyes, total anger reflecting in his eyes ''I won't let go Eren, it's going to be okay. I will protect you.'' Angry tears gather in his eyes, frustrated at himself for not being able to keep his promise yet again. One of the assholes stomp onto Levi's hand, but he didn't budge, refusing to let go of me, for them to do god knows what to me.

''Let go asshole, you're making it only harder for both of you! The sooner this bitch is out here the sooner he gets back, of course depending how long we want to have some fun with him.'' It felt like being dropped into the ice cold ocean after hearing his words. Distinctively, I feel Levi's hands actually tightening around mine, no intention of letting go. ''Suck my dick, motherfucker.''

''I bet this bitch wouldn't mind doing that for us, hm?'' One of the guys that's holding on to my legs laughs out, bringing me to the brick of vomiting and tears welling up in my eyes. I feel his disgusting hands glide up and down on my still bare legs. Levi's shirt that I am wearing had ridden up while struggling on the ground and now the only thing covering me are my boxers briefs. 

''You lay a hand on him and I will rip you into fucking pieces!'' Levi was losing it at this point, and the men took the chance to pull me and Levi apart. 

''NO!''

''LET GO OF HIM, MOTHERFUCKERS! I WILL KILL YOU! LET HIM GO! EREN!''

''LEVI!'' At this point the tears were falling freely and the last thing I saw of Levi was him being held down by eight people, but even they seemed to struggle with him. But what really broke me inside were his screams, screaming my name like he was dying inside. 

''Let me go! Please, Let go!'' At some point they stopped and picked me up, throwing me over ones shoulder. I didn't want to think about the way his hand was still stroking my thigh. Levi's shirt luckly was big enough to cover my underwear. 

They bring me to a small, unlit room, with a chair in der center. Immediately, I am sat into that chair, limbs tied tightly down. The men fortunately leave. All I can do is sit and wait in the dark.  I had only two thoughts at the moment.

_1\. Hope Levi is okay._

 

_2\. We're so fucked_

 


	27. Every Day, Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short. Not really exciting. BTW ur comments were too sweet I almost cried. Chapter 28 should be up in a few hours tho. :)

 

 I am sitting in the dark room for god knows how long. At first the only emotion I could feel was fear, but it all simmered down to fury. 

Fury boils in me as I try to get out of my bonds, testing their limits.  _How fucking dare these monsters do this!?_  Trembling with rage, I keep waiting.

Finally, after almost forever, the door opens ''Ah, Eren. Thank you for your patience.'' aaaaand i wished it never opened in the first place.  Erwin slips into the room, flanked by two goons. 

''Let's skip the small talk. You know why you're here, right?'' He drags a chair in front of me and sits down, crossing his legs and starring me down with cold eyes. 

''Because I am the unluckiest person in the whole fucking Dust Bowl.'' I mutter begrudgingly, making him chuckle coldly ''Well, there might be someone even unluckier than you soon. And let me tell you, that is not an envious position. You give me the location of the hole you crawled out off, and I might welcome you to my New World. You refuse... you'll have to carry the burden of those woman in the bunker.'' he glances suggestively over his shoulder at the man either side of him. 

Cold tread crawls over my body, like a snake curling around me, making it hard to breath. ''W-what!? What the fuck is wrong with you people!?'' My mind races, but can't land on the right thought. They don't know that everyone in the bunker is dead. If I tell them that, Levi and I are doomed.  If I tell them where it is, there's just no way they will let us go. They might even kill us, if they think outlived our usefulness. 

''Let's make a deal.'' I start but got cut off by Erwin ''We already have one. You tell me; You live.'' 

''Y-you act like I don't know how desperate you are! You need this information, and we're the only ones who can help you!'' after the words left my mouth, the world seemed to freeze over. Erwin narrows his eyes ''...''we''?''  _FUCK._

'' I see. So the mongrel knows too, huh?'' 

''N-No, I-'' ''Well, this changes things a little.'' No matter how I try to back-pedal, the gleam doesn't fade from his eyes. Rising from his seat, he moves towards me, grabbing my jaw and pulling me so close that I can feel his breath on my face. ''Don't you worry. I still have some things planned for you.'' With a dirty smirk on his face, he let's go and exits the room, but not before throwing an order over his shoulder ''Take him back.''  

The goons untie me and drag me out of the room, while Erwin stands silently in the hallway, a unsettling smile on his face. 

 

***

 

As soon as the door to the cell was opened, Levi jumps on the closest guard, strangling him. 

''I'm so fucking done with this.'' Another guard grumbles, trying to separate Levi from the man, who at this point starts to turn blue. The goon still holding on to me, throws me inside the cell, pulling a pained cry from me. That seemed to have pulled Levi out of his murder lust, turning towards me, giving the guards enough time to pull him off blue man and get thrown after me. The moment he lands besides me, the door is slammed shut.

''Fuck.'' Levi whispers while glaring at the door. 

I couldn't pay much attentions on that though, the pain in my abdomen so bad, it's making it hard to breath. ''Eren? Sweetheart, look at me! What did they do? What's hurting?'' Levi is immediately by my side, fussing like a mother hen. 

''Ughh... it h-hurts.'' I curl in on myself, clawing at my shirt, as if it's going to ease the pain. Levi grabs my hands and pull them away from my body, lifting the shirt to look at my stomach, but as his eyes wander lower they widen and he grabs my right leg, lifting it higher. 

''E-eren... please-please tell me... what they did to y-you.'' His eyes meet mine, watering and threatening to spill. ''W-what? Erwin just-'' I look down to my underwear, seeing a bloody patch. ''WHAT THE FUCK!?'' I leap to my feet, kicking Levi in the face while doing so.  ''Eren, what did that motherfucker do to you!?'' He didn't seem to care about the kicking thing, my well being more important to him right now. ''He-he didn't do anything! He just bound me to a chair and asked questions. More important question though, WHY THE FUCK AM I BLEEDING FROM MY ASSHOLE!?'' 

''Okay, calm down Eren. It's going to be okay.'' ''Calm down? CALM DOWN!? Levi how the fuck am I supposed to be calm when I am bleeding out of my ASS!? Oh god, I think I am going to pass out.'' I fall back onto my bed, head spinning from the stress and pain. Before I know it, I am already in tears and I don't even know why. ''What is going on Levi?''

''I-I really don't know Eren, I wish I knew what to do... I am so fucking useless. I want to protect you, but I end up fucking up again and again. Now you're hurt and I can't even do anything.'' ''I-It's okay. It's probably from last night, yes, probably, so don't stress about it Levi.'' _And now I am calm af, wtf feelings, get it together._  

The comment about the bloody patch being from our session of love made Levi's face turn from helpless to totally mortified. ''No, no, no. Calm down, Levi. It's fine. It's doesn't even hurt anymore.'' It hurts like a bitch, and Levi knows that, who looks about ready to cry. Sighing, I open my arms wide, waiting for Levi to gather me in his, and cuddle with me, not saying anything anymore out of fear of making him feel even worse about himself.

When  both of us lie on therusty bed, him spooning me from behind, holding on to me like I am slipping away any second, I decide to tell him about my fuck up.

''Levi, I made a mistake...'' I can feel his heartbeat speeding up, his arms slightly tightening their grip. ''What are you talking about?''

I explain to him what happened. Levi listens quietly, and only has a grim smile for me once I am done. ''The important thing is that they didn't do anything to you, and that we're alive. We... we'll deal with the rest later.'' He buries his face in my shoulder. I turn around and pull him down, planting a kiss on his lips, pulling away shortly after.

''I love you.'' I whisper while looking into his stormy orbs, not once looking away. His face softens significantly, a gentle smile pulling at his lips.''I love you too, babe.''

 

***

 

Th next day, they come again.

Levi is ready this time, taking a fighting stance in front of me. But the men haven't come for me.

This time it's Levi who is dragged out of the cell by four people, kicking and swearing, while I try to go after them but got pushed back inside, getting a bundle thrown at me and the door slammed in my face. In the bundle were new clothes for me and Levi. A white T-shirt and black skinny jeans for me and a black T-shirt with a pair of camo combat pants. Because of the diet here in this prison I lost some weight, making the T-shirt hang loosely on my frame, but that was the last of my worries now. Walking up and down the cell, I wait for Levi to be brought back. It's late by the time the door opens again. Levi is being shoved inside and after him a small box. He takes a step, stumbles and falls to the ground. 

''Levi!'' I drop to my knees besides his body, taking his bruised face in my hands. ''Fuck... ouch...'' He's covered with deep purple-black bruises.

''Here, let me help you.'' I put his right around my shoulder and drag his heavy body onto the bed. ''Thanks. That Erwin asshole said that they've got all the time in the world to break us down. I think we're in this for a while, babe. He can bet his fucking caterpillars that it's going to take a while to crack us.'' he grabs my hand and presses a kiss to the back of it, causing me to giggle. My eyes fixed on the box on the floor, moving towards it, I open it to find bandages, disinfectant, cooling gel, ointment, antibiotics, compress dressings, tweezers and scissors. Looking back to Levi, I meet his eyes. And we both know why they gave us this kit in the first place. We are in for a lot of pain.

''Assholes.'' Me and Levi mutter at the same time.

 

***

 

More days pass. We're no longer being fed twice a day. Now we get only one meal, and it's always at a random time, making it nearly impossible to mark the passage of time. It's enough food to keep our body's going, even though I feel hungrier by every day,  causing me to grow weaker. Every time, Levi gives me some of his portion, once even force feeding me when I refused. Each day is filled with pain and discomfort, from either a raging headache or cramps in the abdomen. 

If that wasn't bad enough, our mutie neighbors get more and more annoying by the day. All day, every day, you can hear them shambling in the next cell over each other, moaning and rubbing against the walls. They're restless. Levi thinks it's because they're way too overcrowded now that we're taking up one of their cells.

Whatever the reason, the noises get inside my head and make it difficult to focus, or to sleep. Erwins man randomly come and grab Levi for interrogation over the passing days. His bruises are never given the chance to begin to heal before they are covered by new ones. For some reason they never take me.

Today, they took Levi quite a time ago, and I am waiting for him to come back, ready with the cooling gel and ointment, which are almost used up at this point. 

Suddenly, the door slams open. But there isn't a Levi, just ''Soldiers''.


	28. Whistle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torture. Erwin being a bitch. the usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wife kept texting me she's waiting for this chapter. so a few hours turned to passing out after posting the last chapter, a date with my wife, fangirling about our favorite barista (Kambito), lending 17 movies from the library and sleeping over at my cousins. Ya know your author gurl. I can't be trusted with promises.

The men grab me by the arms and pull me through the door. They drag me down the hallways until we come to the room I had been for the first time. Except for this time they are two chairs in the center, facing each other. Levi is tide to one, slumped forward with blood dripping from his nose. Hearing our footsteps approaching, he glances up, eyes widening when they fall on me. 

''Eren?'' The men tie me to the chair and I am left looking into Levi's face. He looks as worried as I feel. Something moves in the shadows, both mine and Levi's eyes turn to see Erwin emerging from them, like some lord of darkness honestly. 

''I'd like to think I am a man who can admit his mistakes. But Levi, I underestimated you. You're a strong man. Stronger than I thought you are.'' Levi doesn't say anything, just glares up to Erwin with hatred in his eyes. ''You can withstand a lot of pain... but... I wonder...'' He picks up a knife from a nearby table. ''Are you as strong faced with... something a little different?'' 

Before anybody can blink, the knife is at my throat. '' Eren, what do you think I should do with this troublesome pup?'' Erwin drags the edge of the knife over the length of my neck as if looking for the best place to cut into.

''D-don't hurt him.'' I manage to stutter out, my eyes flying from the knife to Levi's sickly pale face.

''No, don't worry. I'm getting bored of that. I think I might've found a more effective tactic.'' Levi smirks nervously, sweat dripping from his forehead. ''H-heh. What, are you serious?'' Levi is putting in a lot of effort to look calmer than he actually is. ''There's no way you're going to kill him.'' The knife moves away as Erwin moves. ''Well, you're right, he is pretty valuable to us. But I think that you don't even know how valuable he really is.'' Erwin smirks and turns towards the door when there was a knock ''Ah, perfect timing. Come in.'' 

At his words, the door is opened and Dot Pixies enters with a stack of papers. ''Hello Dot, I think you can pick up from here.'' Erwin moves back beside me, the knife pressed to the back of my neck. 

''Alright, so Eren came to me with a complaint about sickness and fatigue. I took a blood sample and everything seemed normal on the first glance. Well you see, one of the important points in the Easter Initiative was rebuilding mankind. For that, you need woman and men. But the problem the government was faced with was that there weren't enough female subjects, so scientists worked out a way that even men could reproduce without females. And you Eren just happened to be the first subject from the Easter Initiative that managed to reproduce without any female interaction.''

The room was silent. 

I could hear the blood rushing through my ears, head pounding and thoughts a mess. Pregnant. He's saying I am pregnant.

The silence was cut short by my laugh. Laughing to my heart's content, as if I just listened to the best joke in the post-apocalypse.

''Haha, yeah, right. Dot, that was amusing but I gotta get back to torture so please keep your jokes for after this.''

''Eren.'' Dot looked me straight in the eyes, something akin to pity reflecting on them ''It's not a joke.'' now that made me angry.

''Stop it.'' ''Eren you're pregnant.'' ''I said stop. Don't say one word.'' ''Er-'' ''I SAID SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You don't get to do this! I will kill all of you! Every last of you!'' I was seething, wrenching my bound arms and legs around,  to the point of breaking the skin.

''Dot, I'd like to talk to you for a moment. Eren, you better have calmed down before I get back, or Levi has to pay.'' Erwin warns before exiting with Dot.

I am panting heavily, the bounds and the stress making it hard to breathe. I look up to Levi, him being so quiet is unnerving even when I am in a killer mood. His expression though, completely blank, frozen in shock. His eyes wander up to mine and stare, as if right through me, and opens his mouth with a trembling lip. 

''E-eren...'' Levi's voice shakes, cracking almost immediately ''W-what does h-he mean with t-that?'' His vulnerable state makes me see clearly, steering me out of my anger and leaving me dumbstruck. ''I-is there... a child growing inside of you?'' My vision blurs from tears, realizing the situation. ''Yes... yes. Oh my god, yes there is.'' I am full on sobbing now, feeling angry at these monsters for treating people like lab rats, terrified about what the future will hold but also a small sense of happiness, how crazy it might seem because this is Levi's child. 

''This means... I am... going to be an f-father?'' there are now tears streaming down his face, still disbelieve written all over it. I just nod, not trusting my voice anymore. Exhaling a long breath, Levi tries to recompose himself. ''Listen, Eren. I-I know you're in a really hard spot right now, but please don't do anything reckless, you have somebody else to worry about, okay?'' I beat of silence passes us before I answer him. ''You... want it?'' 

''What? Of course! It's our child, Eren. And just thinking that... I... the idiot from the Dust Bowl got himself an amazing lover and even has the chance to become a father? Something I thought would never be possible for me? Man, Eren you're making me the luckiest person alive, and you gotta be an idiot too if you think I am just letting that chance slip away. Well, only... only if you want it too?''  Now I had to take a moment and think about it. _Do I really want this child?  This world is definitely not worth living in, but it still deserves a chance. And soon we will get out of here, maybe we'd get back to the shack or move to another place, built a life with Levi, I hope. Yeah, that sounds nice._

''Yes...'' is my simple answer, but it means more than the world to Levi. His smile lit up the dark room, making the dark circles under his eyes and the bruises almost disappear from his face, pure happiness radiating off of him.

''I will get us out of here, babe. You, me and our child.'' he leaned forward, trying to get as close as possible, and stared me in the eyes, making sure that I knew that he was sincere about everything he said. The moment, however, was cut short when the door opened up again and Erwin walked back inside. 

''So, where were we? Ah, right, so you now know how valuable the people from the bunker are to us. I am asking again, where is it?'' The knife is back. Erwin presses it against my cheek, drawing blood. I can feel how it drips to my jaw and down my neck. I bite my tongue, not giving him the satisfaction of hearing me in pain. 

''Fuck you'' Levi mutters, completely the opposite from moments before. Erwin doesn't like that at all. ''His reproductive parts are pretty valuable to us, but that's about all we need. No need for a pretty face, mh? No need for eyes...'' The knife moves up to hover by my eye, then traces the shell of my ears ''... or ears. Probably keep the nose where it is- nobody wants to deal with that mess. But everything else? Fair game.'' Erwin withdraws, then suddenly flicks the knife downward. 

''WAI-!'' Levi jumps in his chair, the bonds still holding him down. He starts swearing at Erwin, and it takes me a moment to realize that he cut my shoulder. The pain comes, flowing out with the blood. ''...Ngh.'' I grunt out, but keep mostly still, refusing to give him what he wants. 

''Levi, feel like talking?'' Levi strains against his bonds, face twisted with rage. He never looked this angry. Or helpless. His stormy orbs flicker down to my emeralds. I just shake my head.

''...No.'' is his final answer, making Erwin sigh. 

'' Oh, well, at least it's more fun this way.'' The knife blurs as it comes slashing down again. The once white shirt is mostly crimson now.

And I scream.

***

Later, back in the cell, Levi won't leave me alone. He sits me down on the bed and looks me over. Hands a little too frantic to be gentle. ''There're... a lot of cuts, but they are swallow.'' He grabs the disinfectant, bandages, and ointment from the box. Levi starts taking care of the cuts, apologizing when the antiseptic makes me cry out in pain. He is putting on the last bandage when I speak up.

''How far will he go?.'' My hand subconsciously moves to my abdomen. ''I... don't know. He won't be so... kind... next time.'' His eyes move to my hand on my stomach, pressing his hands against it. 

''... I'm scared.'' I whisper while leaning my forehead against his shoulder, his free hand moves up to my head, slowly stroking the matted hair. '' That makes two of us, sweetheart.'' The room lapses back to silence, my breathing heavier than usual. 

''I'm sorry.'' The whispered apology takes me by surprise. ''I hated that. Seeing you get hurt. Knowing that I could stop it, but... you need to understand, if that guy knew where to find the bunker, it'd be over for us. I'd be dead, and you'd be... ugh, I don't even wanna think about it.'' Of course, I understood that. But Levi seems to be the one beating himself up about it still. That calls for a distraction.

''Why don't you make it up to me?'' 

''... Are you flirtin' with me right now? Cause, listen, I ain't complaining. I'll make it up to you. Just give me something to do, and I'll do it.'' He smiles, looking a little grateful. '' How about you make me feel good?'' I wink at him, running my hand through his ebony hair.

''I can do that.'' His lips move to mine, about to touch when he suddenly moves away with wide eyes. ''W-wait! Is this okay!? Will the baby be okay? Wait, don't you need to rest? And food, you're eating for two, after all, you need more food. Oh god, you lost a lot of blood today and the stress. I heard stress can kill the fetus. Some woman in our old community lost theirs cause they didn't take it easy enough.'' By now you would think that Levi is the one having the baby.

''Levi.'' 

''Yes?''

''Shut up and kiss me.''

''... Okay.''

 ***

Over next few days, no one comes for either of us. Levi's bruises are even beginning to fade. But there is no telling what Erwin's new move is going to be. 

''I am telling you, I've got this feeling under my fingernails. All this waiting around makes me crazy.'' 

''What are we going to do though?'' I ask while braiding another strand of Levi's hair. ''No idea. Ugh! I hate feeling so fucking useless!'' Even after all this time, neither of us came up with a viable plan for escape.  _For bandits only posing as soldiers, they do run a pretty tight operation._

''It would help if I could think.'' Levi shoots a dirty look at the wall. The muties are as noisy as ever. And it's true that they make it hard to concentrate on anything. ''Shut the fuck up, you loud ass bags of meat!'' Levi starts kicking the wall, what makes our neighbors only more restless. 

_**BANG!** _

 

Suddenly, there's a bang at our door, and the top slot opens. 

''Hey, shut up in there! Do that again, and you'll be going in with them!'' The slot slides shut. Levi sigh dramatically and drops on the bed. ''These guys need to take better care of their pets. Can't they, like, collar them or something?''  

''...!'' A jolt runs through me.  _I remember..._

_I turn to Erwin, expecting him to grab his rifle but instead he grabbed a whistle that was around his neck and brought it to his lips. He blows but I only hear the faintest of high-pitched sounds, the mutie, however, seems to be in utmost pain, clutching its head in terrible distress. Erwin jumps out of the jeep and towards the mutie, still blowing the whistle._

_By the time he reaches it, the Mutie is rocking on the ground helplessly._

''The whistle!'' 

''...The what?''

I tell Levi about that day so long ago when Erwin took me out in the jeep, and about his secret weapon for dealing with muties.

''...That's crazy. But if it makes them all docile, I don't see how it will help us?'' 

''No, the muties are subdued, but...'' I remember the look of panic in its eyes. The animalistic rage just below the surface, straining to break free from the whistles power. ''The whistle makes them angry too.'' 

''So... what? You think the whistle could make a mutie go nuts?'' Levi was still staring at the wall as if he could see the muties on the other side.

''Maybe. if you over-used it or something.'' A scraping sound comes from the wall as the muties rub relentlessly against the wall. ''if we can send the muties into a frenzy...'' ...It would cause chaos in the base.

''Exactly.'' It's not a clear plan. But it's the best we've got. And if we can create  _any_ opportunity to get us out of here, then we have to do it. 

''Okay. So next time those guys come in and grab me, I'll make a run for it or something. Just need to find a way to get into Erwin's office. That's where the whistle would be, right?'' I am not sure.  _Maybe_ he could escape his escorts,  _maybe_ he could get into the office, but they'd just kill him once they caught him. The wouldn't kill me though.

''It has to be me, Levi.'' 

''What.'' _It's time for some payback._

''Eren, what-'' I get up from the bed and start pounding on the cell door. ''Eren!'' finally the slot opens.

''If I have to tell you one more time-'' ''I'll talk.'' 

''...'' The guard is silent. 

''Eren...''

''I'll do it. I'll talk. I'll talk to Dot. Only Dot.''

***

 

The guard left hours ago. He must've relayed my message to Erwin, and now they're discussing what to do. If it takes this long, it must mean they're suspecting something, but can't be sure.

Levi didn't say much. He isn't thrilled with the whole situation. Finally, the door opens.

As I'm escorted out roughly, I spare a glance black to Levi. He looks determined but grim.

''Good luck.'' he mouths silently as I am taken away.

***

''Eren.'' Dot is waiting in the room, flanked by a couple of men. This isn't going to work with an audience. ''I'm only talking to Dot.'' 

''Well, I am here.''

''No one else.'' I stare him down until he finally sighs and addresses the others in the room. 

''Gentlemen, please wait outside.'' The soldiers hesitate. They don't take orders from Dot - especially such stupid-sounding ones. ''Erwin gave the go-ahead. He wants answers.'' The men holding me by the arms reluctantly let go. Glaring suspiciously at me, everyone begins to file out of the room. ''We'll be right outside.''

Once we're alone, Dot gives me a small smile, a smile I can no longer trust. 

''So, did you have something you wanted to say?'' I need to get Dot to believe that I am on his side and get him to bring me to Erwin's office. _How am I gonna play this?_  

''I-I don't want to be hurt anymore.'' _Helpless and scared it is_. Dot's expression melts in sympathy. ''It may be hard to believe, but we don't want to hurt you. We're desperate men, Eren. And we've treated you poorly.'' 

''If I tell you where the bunker is... you won't hurt me anymore?'' ''Oh, poor thing. I promise, no one will hurt you again.'' 

''I... can't exactly say where the bunker is. But I could lead you there.'' ''Would you remember the way?'' ''Definitely... As long as Erwin promises to protect me.'' 

Dot is silent for a while. I start to worry that he's seen right through me.

''...thank you, Eren.'' He smiles, wide and bright. He believes me.

''Let's go and see Erwin.''

Dot, alone, escorts me to Erwin's office. The men we pass in the hallway look uncomfortable seeing me walk around ''unsecured''. Once at the right door, Dot knocks. ''Come in!'' ''Don't be nervous Eren, you're about to make him very happy.''

''The fuck is this, Dot?'' Was the first thing that Erwin said when we entered the office. ''He has something to say, sir. Something I think you'll like.'' ''Oh, is that so...'' Erwin raises an eyebrow, he doesn't look as trustworthy as Dot. But I barely notice. The more important thing is sitting in an open drawer in Erwin's desk. Not just one whistle. But a whole drawer full of them. ''Well, what is this amazing thing you have to tell me?'' My attention snaps back to Erwin. I need to get closer to the desk.

''Please! Please don't put me back into that cell!'' I take a step closer to the drawer and Erwin.''I'll take you wherever you want to go!'' another step. ''Just don't hurt me anymore!'' Erwin crosses his arms and looks down at me. He doesn't look even the slightest bit convinced or amused. 

_Okay! Time to change tactic._

I look around, grasping for new ideas. My eyes finally land on the radio on Erwin's desk. That damn radio that brought us here in the first place. With no warning, I lunge forward and push the whole machine off of the desk. The radio hits the floor and smashes. ''You won't lead anybody else here!'' 

''Men!'' Grunts pour into the room, but the office is so small that it only causes confusion. In the scuffle, I managed to grab a whistle from the drawer. No one notices. 

Then, I am seized by the hands of Erwin's men. They hold me still while Erwin advances.

''Was it worth it? Hm, Was it worth it, you fuck!?'' 

**CRACK**

 

 He smacks me across me across the face and white-hot pain explodes over my cheek. ''Ah!'' ''Put him back in his cell!'' 

As the man drag me away, Erwin follows, spitting his words out in utter rage. ''Next time you leave it, I'll make sure you regret fucking with us. If you don't show us the bunker, you'll just have to do the work of a hundred woman.''

***

I am shoved to the ground and the door slams shut behind me, a sharp sound that's growing familiar. 

''Shit, Eren!'' Levi's eyes widen when they land on my red and swelling face. ''What did that bastard-'' I hold up the whistle that had been carefully hidden in my clenched fist. Levi goes silent. ''... No way.''

I give him a triumphant grin. He returns it, eyes full of pride. ''No fucking way.'' 

***

The plan begins ins earnest.

Taking turns, me and Levi start blowing the whistle day and night. The pitch is too high to alert the guards outside, but I can tell by the sudden quiet from next door that the muties are being affected. The whistle is doing its job - subduing them. But we need to keep going, to push them too far. To break them out of obedience and into a frenzy. So we can't afford to rest.

Right now it's Levi's turn on whistle duty. He's been blowing for at least a couple of hours, barely stopping. It's hard on the throat, and since the only water we get is with our one meal per day, it's not an easy task. 

''Hey, so...*huff*... are you really...*huff*...ready for this?'' He speaks quickly between the blows of the whistle. ''What do you mean?''

''What I mean is...*huff*...if all goes to plan...*huff*... the muties are going to kill everyone. It's not gonna be...*huff*...very pretty.'' I don't even need to think about my answer. ''They deserve it.''

''Heh...*huff*... no argument there. Just wanted...*huff*... to make sure you were ready.'' The whistle drops from his lips ad he looks straight at me, eyes hard. ''I'm tellin' ya this, though. If, during our daring escape, I run into Erwin... I'll take the honor myself.''

''I'll help.'' 

''Aw, that's my little ball of murder. He killed Hanji with his own hands. His men killed everyone else I know. ... He hurt you. He doesn't get to live.''

***

Days pass, and we never stopped blowing the whistle. Slowly, we do start noticing a change in the muties. They're noisier than usual. Restless. Distressed. I've heard to guards talk about it as they passed our cell door. 

It's really starting to feel like it could happen at any moment...

''Uh, hey...'' It's (probably) nighttime, after dinner, we're lying in bed, my turn blowing the whistle. ''What...*huff*... is it?'' 

''It... kinda feels like this might be my last chance to say this.'' He turns to his side, looking at me.'' I love you. And you too, of course.'' his large hand spreads over my stomach, where a bump is already growing, a loving smile on his face.

''We love you, too'' I came to terms with being pregnant a while ago, now even excited for it.  I suddenly realize that I've stopped blowing the whistle though. _When did that happen?_

''Hey, come closer.'' I scoot closer to Levi, and he spoons around me. Leaning in, he kisses my neck. I turn and catch his lips with mine. Through the night, the two of us lie there, taking turns to blow the whistle, holding each other close. And eventually, comes sleep.

**SLAM!**

I wake to the sound of a door being slammed open. My first thought - _it's our cell door. It's Erwin. He found out about our plan. He's going to kill Levi and drag me off to-_

...And then I realize that the door is still firmly shut. 

''Levi-'' I turn to him. He's wide awake, but the whistle has dropped to the bed. ''Shhh.''  He's tense and listening intendly. I start listening, too.

''What the fu-!?'' Suddenly there's the sound of wild automatic gunfire.  ''Shit!'' The gunfire stops, and a new sound takes over. The sound of muties on the attack. They're out of their cells and on the warpath, tearing down all the ''soldiers'' in their way. I can hear them, moving through the corridor and towards the stairs, like an unstoppable wave of rage and madness.

....Leaving me and Levi alone down here. In our cell. In our  _locked_ cell.

We look at each other. 

''We...'' I started ''...Didn't think this through.'' Levi finished.

It's all so ridiculous, we can't help but laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I planned to be of Levi's POV like old times. My wife told me she loved Levi's POVin Starbucks yesterday while eating candy that was almost completely made of sugar and me dying about the stories of Simba (her dog).  
> I love you, Mary. <3
> 
> PS.: I know u r reading this. Text me this (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )) when u read it. luv u *3*


	29. How My Sunshine Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi POV is back. Starting from where he woke up in the base.

When I woke up, I felt like a smashed potato. ''Fuck.'' Trying to sit up seems like the hardest thing to do right now. When I finally manage to sit my ass in a comfortable position, I take in my surroundings and freeze. Sitting on a bed in a white blank room, the memories of the cave-in come back to me.  _Eren._

Right when I am about to jump out of the bed (more like crawl), the door opens. For a moment I expect Eren to walk to the door, but to my horror realized that it's an old man. A man. Another human. And the only place that probably still has humans is a place I would rather kill myself than ever enter.

''Oh, you're awake.'' The old man smiles at me ''My name is Dot Pixis, your name is Levi right?'' Now that set me off even more.

''Where is Eren?'' _I just want to grab Eren and get the fuck out of here._ ''Where is he?'' I ask again, not having the patience for this wrinkly grape.

''I-i will get him for you.'' with that he left the room.  I sigh and let my head fall back on the headboard. _I lead us to a fucking death trap._

I didn't get much time to dwell on that though, as Eren burst into the room.

''Levi!'' He cries out, full of happiness in this godforsaken place. ‘’Hey, doll. How’s it goin’?’' He throws his arms around me, crying uncontrollably. ‘’Hey, hey now. C’mere’’ I already feel like crying myself, seeing Eren cry over me like I wasn't the one that almost got us killed, all because I didn't want to confront what would be on the end of the road. 

‘’I’ll… just excuse myself.’’  wrinkly grape announced, finally stepping out of the room. I pull away from Eren, still holding on to him to keep me grounded. ‘’Are we alone now? This is an army base, right? These guys are military?’’  

‘‘Yeah…’’  _Well shit._

‘’Have they asked where you came from?’’

‘’Well, of course, they did.’’

‘’No. Did they ask where  _you_ came from?’’ seeming to realize what I mean, he seems to go just a tad bit paler.

‘’No, they didn’t.’’ relief runs to me like I had been holding my breath.

‘’Good. Whatever you do, don’t mention it. If these guys really are the military, that might be their project you walked out of.’’

‘’You know, neither of us would be alive now if it weren’t for them.’’

‘’Eren, listen to me. No matter how nice they’ve been, or how good they are… if they find out that their project was a total failure and you’re the only one who could make it out alive… You don’t what that kind of news can do to a person.’’ People don't just help someone out of the goodness of their hearts, at least not in the post-apocalypse. 

‘’Okay, I won’t say anything.’’ That eases my worry a little bit, and just then I realize how tired I feel. ‘’Hey… I know this is really lazy of me, but… is it okay if I just take a teeny tiny nap?’’ 

 

* * *

 

''Uggghhhhhh.'' I am bored out of my mind. Bedridden, barely being able to move from the pain and those camo-clad monkeys keeping their eyes on me is really pissing me off.

''Hey, tell me a nice story. One with a happy ending. Just take my mind off this shit, just... distract me, I don't care what you do.'' I turn to Eren, who fell victim to my bad mood. 

''Sure.''  _A fucking angel, let me tell you._

* * *

 

After frustrating days of recovery, I am finally able to walk. 

Making my way through the compound, I find myself in the dining hall, but to my disgust filled with the military guys. As one of them passes me, I reach out and grab him by the arm.

''Where is Eren?''  I glower at him. Looking as if he's about ready to piss himself he stutters out an answer. ''H-he's in his r-room!'' Releasing the coward, I once again look around the room. Now all eyes are on us, ready to step in when I was to do anything they wouldn't like. I head over to the food display and grab a tray, filling it with anything that seemed good.

I head back to the hallways, looking for Eren's room.  After searching, for a while, I come across it. I knock on the door, waiting for the ''Yes!'' to open it. ''Mornin' babe.'' I smile at him.

''Wow, you're looking good.'' He grins back at me.

''Hey, don't I know it, babe.'' I make my way to the bed, presenting him the food. I think about if I should ask him about the goggles. I expect them to be lost in the cave in, after all, he isn't wearing them and it's my own fault for going in there in the first place. But a man can hope, right?

 ''Hey, so, I was meanin' to ask... you didn't happen to grab my goggles, did you?''

''They were destroyed.''  Eren said with a sad sigh, it obviously laid heavy on his mind.

''Right. Of course. Makes sense.'' ''I'm sorry, I know they meant a lot to you.'' I smiled weakly up at him. ''Nah. I'm just being a big baby, ain't I? I could have lost something a lot worse. So...'' a lot worse let me tell. At this point, I wouldn't know what to do without him. 

''What about my gun?'' '' Lost in the cave-in. Along with everything else we had.''  _Figures._

''.... and you haven't told them anythin'?'' ''I haven't said anything.'' I sigh in relief ''Good. That's smart-'' there's a knock at the door and immediately go into defensive mode. I don't trust these guys with anything, not after what they've done to me. Eren holds on to my hand, calming me down and keeping me grounded. 

''Come in!'' Eren calls out. ''Oh! You both are here.'' _Ugh, wrinkly grape._ ''We-''  ''You got somethin' you want?'' _Did they all come to his room like this?_ Oh _, they better try now._

''Um... I just came to invite Eren to breakfast.'' ,,Oh-''  Again I cut off Eren. ''He's already got a date.''  Wrinkly grape gave up fast after that and left, finally. I look back at a grinning Eren.

  ''I never would have thought that you could get so territorial.'' _This little shit._ Just looking at him, grinning like an idiot, could break my self-control. ''Well, I can show you how territorial I can really get.''

* * *

 

 The next day I find myself in the dining hall again, cause no matter how much hate them I still have to eat, even if my áppetite is almost gone from being in just their presence. ''Mind if I join you?'' I look up to Eren standing with his tray of food. ''Only if you're alone. These weirdos put me on edge.''  ''Weirdos?''

''Look, all I'm saying is...'' I grab the knife, slipping into my pocket. ''This baby is going under my pillow.'' 

 A loud laugh makes me tens up, subconsciously reaching out to Eren, before realizing that eyebrows is just laughing. He turns to us as if knowing we are watching him.  ''Eren! What are you two doing over there all by yourselves? Come be social.'' ''Tch.'' The audacity this asshole has. While I go back to poking my food, I'm happy about the fact that Eren is still sitting by my side, choosing me over this bafoon.

 ''Can I join you?'' Both our heads shoot up. He came up to us and sat beside me and steals some of my food. Disgusting.

''You two must be having a great conversation over here, it's like you two are in your own little world.'' ''... Not really.'' ''Aw, he's so shy!'' I make a face as he nudges Eren with his elbow, his eyes holding something I don't like at all. ''I didn't know he was shy.'' 

**BAM**

Not being able to take any of his shit I bring my fist down on the table. ''Fuck this.'' As fast as possible I leave the room.

* * *

 

 Afte cooling off in my room for a day, I walked to Erens room. As I enter his room I expected to see him on the bed, but instead, I hear him throwing up in the bathroom. 

''Eren?'' He looks up at me, tears in my eyes before continuing to emptying his guts. I rub his back, hoping to comfort him in any way possible.

 ''That's it, get it all out.'' Some time passed until he finally stopped being sick, and after washing up he just clung to me. I pat his soft hair, hoping it would soothe him somehow and make those tears disappear sooner. Guiding him towards the bed. I make sure that he's as comfortable as possible. 

''Are you better now?'' I ask him, getting a nod in return. ''Did you eat something bad or do you feel sick?'' ''I... I don't know. I don't think I ate anything bad and I don't feel any different besides nausea.'' I lean my forehead against his, feeling for a fever but not finding anything unusual. ''You don't seem to have a fever either. Just take it easy, okay? If you need anything I will get it for you.'' Eren smiled at me, so sweetly I could die happily if this was the last thing I was to ever see again. ''Would it be too much to ask for a kiss?'' _aaand there goes my soul._ ''Oh babe, you shouldn't even have to ask for it.'' I lean in closer, meeting his lips in a gentle kiss. And for nothing in this world would I trade these moments, where it's just me and Eren. But as happy as I feel, there is still the guilt is eating away at me from the inside. 

* * *

 

 

 After some days, I was thinking about my old home. The place I grew up in. Grew up with Izzy and Farlan. Where crazy Hanji seemed so happy even when the world around was gone. Deciding it was time to visit home again I sneak out of my room. Making my way through the labyrinth of hallways, I finally find the exit. Pushing the metal door I finally got outside. Hearing the door open again I tense up, praying to whatever there is I this universe that it's the only person I trust with anything.

 ''...Eren?''

''Levi.'' I didn't know I could have ever been so relieved. But knowing Eren this means he will tag along no matter what I will tell him. Turning around slowly, I smile sheepishly at him. ''So, uh. You're probably wondering where I am goin', huh?'' Narrowing his eyes he doesn't break eye contact. '' _Where_  are you going?''

I wasn't in the mood for his pitying eyes, so I just turned away and heading towards the cars again. ''Any chance I can get outta this without spilling my guts? It's too early in the morning.'' but not three steps later, Eren said something that made me snap my head back towards him so fast, I could have broken my neck. ''... Are you leaving me behind?''

''W-wha-!? What are you-! Why- why would you even think something like that?'' I stutter out, totally flabbergastered at his question. I was already reaching out towards him, ready to let him know that without him I couldn't live without him at this point. 

''Why else would you be sneaking out?''

''  _''Sneaking''?_  I wouldn't say I was sneaking! It's more- I was- It's not-... Look. I'm not taking off, okay? I just gotta go somewhere, and then I'm coming right back.'' But of course Eren doesn't back off so fast, what did I even expect. So I take him with me. He had already seen me at my lowest and still stuck around.

* * *

 

The day after we went to hope, I felt lighter and slightly happier too. I left Eren this morning so he could sleep in, eating at my usual table alone.  But the hope for a peaceful breakfast is crushed when I saw Erwin coming towards me.

''Can I sit?'' He asks, motioning to the chair beside me.

''You can actually piss off.'' I growl, glaring at him. Not seeming to be faced, he sits anyway.''So, how are things with Eren?'' 

''None of your business.'' My blood is boiling, hating the fact that his attention was on Eren. My Eren. ''Mh, really? You know when finding him that day, even with all the blood and bruises, I thought that he was really pretty. Especially those eyes. Tell me, Levi, how did he get hurt again?'' 

''Shut up.'' I mutter, slowly losing my control. Rising from my chair, I grab the edge of the table, trying to keep me grounded.  Erwin gets up as well, leaning over to continue talking bullshit to me.  ''We both know you are poison to him. Sooner or later you will be the reason his bright eyes will become dull and lifeless.'' All I see is red as I push him away with all the force I can muster, making him stumble a few meters away. Barely registering the crowd that has formed around us, I charge at him, hitting him square in the jaw.  The second that follows he manages to catch though. His underlings grab hold of me, trying to subdue me, but before they manage to pull me fully away, I  headbutt Erwin in the face, satisfied by the crack that sounds out.

''Get your fucking hands off me!'' I shout out to his minions, their nails digging into my skin.

''Heh. That was one hell of a hook, kid.'' Sick bastard all but grins, like he's getting off to the idea of me losing control. ''Why don'tcha fight back, you coward!'' 

 ''So, this is how you repay our kindness? At last, the Dust Bowl mongrel show its true pedigree.'' Of course, that wrinkly grape had to put in his two cents. 

''You didn't hear what he -'' I start but get cut off by the eyebrowed bastard. ''Delivering a few simple truths, that's all.'' This goes on till they brought Eren back up again.

''I don't blame you for resenting the army for what you perceived to be our inaction on our part. But is it really fair for you to bring Eren into your little game of revenge? When you worked out that he was part of a military project, it must've felt like a miracle. To be handed the one thing that you knew that we would want.''

It's like the darker side of me took over, the one I locked away the day I found Eren again. When I realized that I couldn't survive a day without him by my side. A dark laugh erupts from my throats, sounding like a totally different person. 

''... It felt pretty great. Thinking about you stupid assholes, sittin' around with your thumbs up your asses, with no idea your experiment fucked up, an' I had the only thing that came out of it.'' I had to keep chuckle at them. '' He was the best revenge the Dust Bowl could have given to me. I could have lived my whole life laughing on the inside cause I knew you would never get to have him.''

''...Levi?'' It's crumbling. All my thought and hopes. My happiness broken to pieces and lying on the floor, cause I knew. I knew he wouldn't forgive me. So I turned to where the meek voice came from. 

 ''Eren....'' From where I'm standing frozen I could already see the tears of betrayal swimming in his beautiful eyes. ''Eren, just listen to me...'' Before I can even explain myself to him, he turns tail and rushes out the room. The moment my feet made a step after him, Erwins men took hold of me. 

''Eren, wait- what the- Let me go! Let me the fuck go! I swear to god I will kill all of you if you don't let me go!'' Kicking out, I try to get out of their hands, desperate to get to Eren.

''Take him to the cells.'' I barely register Erwin giving his minions orders, just my sunshine fading away, leaving me in the dark. 

_What have I done?_


	30. Painful But It Might Be Worth it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO SORRY SORRy ABOUT THE WAIT! ILY GUYS THANK YOU FOR READING AND MARY U WON'T HAVE A REASON TO SNIPE ME NOW HONEYYY!!!!  
> But srsly thanks for the consistent support even tho I am such a lazy ass that runs away from responsibility like its the plaque.  
> I found a list while cleaning up of the first people that left kudos and comments on my first 13 chapters. I SOUND LIKE A STALKER OMG°-° ESPECIALLY THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY SAVED THE WHOLE SERIES WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED 13 CHAPTERS OMFG I THINK I HAVE PTSD FROM THAT TIME!  
> Again thank u and shoutout to my wife who threatened me to make me continue XD  
> Luv u, until the next chapter! (wut would probably be in months again hahaha)

After Eren was thrown in the cell, bloody and weak, I could feel myself boiling. It is one thing to be locked in a cell for days but them hurting Eren is something nobody should even think about, and they are definitely going to wish they were never born after I am done with them. 

But hurting Eren didn't seem enough, no of course not, it had to be the very people that killed my family and friends. It felt like the carpet under me was swept away and I landed in a dark pit of hopelessness. But I couldn't dwell on that for too long. I had to take care of Eren because, how selfish it may seem, I need him to keep going. I would have never expected that I'd be so dependent on anybody.

But the rage still caught up with me, so I started pacing, screaming and punching the walls. Clouded by anger and rage I didn't hear Eren, I didn't notice how he turned away from me at some point. All I did know is that I feel cold and numb. 

Tiredly I carry my body towards the bed and lie down, embracing my sunshine, desperate for his warmth. And it felt right, him in my arms, warming up my cold body. I didn't notice that I was crying, too focused on holding on to my sunshine, which could be taken away from me any moment. I feel his arms around me, and we lie there, safe in each other's arms.

 

* * *

 

Still struggling with those 8 assholes I lose it, trashing even more than before, seeing how Eren is dragged out of the cell. Angry tears streaming down and gathering in a pool of hate under me. All of a sudden they let go at the same time, and not a second later I am scrambling towards the door but was stopped by unbearable pain, my whole body seizing up and on fire. As soon as it started it stopped and I fall to the ground, my muscles aching and hot. I managed to turn my head and see one of those pricks hold some black device in his hand, sparking with light. The minions all but run out afterward and slam the door shut. And with that, I lost my chance. My chance to save Eren and get us out of here. 

 

* * *

 

The next day, it was my turn.

Dragged from the seemingly safe haven, into a dark room and bound to a chair. Not long after, Erwin entered the room, with a dirty smile and dark eyes that held pure evil. 

''Hello Levi, how are you on this lovely morning?'' He grabs a chair and sits opposite to me, crossing his legs and the smile not leaving his face. I, on the other hand, refuse to answer this fuck. ''Now, Levi that's rather rude of you. Aren't we all friends here?'' He chuckles like he is the saint himself. ''Tch.''

''Well, anyway. You probably know why you are here so let's keep this short. Where is the bunker?'' I wished my eyes could set him aflame. ''It seems like you don't feel like talking right now? Had a pretty big mouth just moments ago. Maybe in need of some water?.'' At that, his goons carry in a barrel full of water and set it in front of me. Erwin gets up and stands behind me, grabbing hold of my hair and pulling my head back. 

''I will help you drink alright?'' And with that, he stuck my head in the water, giving me no time to take in some air. ''Now let's ask again. Where is it?'' He pulls my head out of the water. I look up at him and spit him in the face. His face was priceless, breaking character and anger flickering across his face. For very long I couldn't enjoy it though, as a punch turned my head the other way and got dunked directly into the water again. I struggle to push against his hand in this position, air running out fast, bubbles flying all around my head. Black spots cloud my vision from lack of oxygen, my struggling slowly dying down. Right before I am about to pass out,  I am pulled out and sweet air fills my lungs.

''Feel like talking Levi?'' I had to chuckle at his persistence. ''We got all the time in the world, Levi. If you don't talk I will move on to Eren and from what I've seen you wouldn't like that very much, right?'' now he started to piss me off, only the thought of him taking Eren's name in his mouth is making me sick.

''Fuck you.'' 

And with that, the beating began. Punch after punch. But with every hit, my mouth shut even tighter, not making any sound. Because I know as soon as I talk I won't be able to protect Eren. So it went on and on till they finally dragged me back to the cell, to my sunshine, just so they can repeat all of this the next day. It went on like that for the next days, either I or Eren would be dragged out and brought back beaten. Erens condition got worse by the day, the pain clearly showing on his face while I can't do anything besides hold him through all the tears when it got too bad. But nothing ever stays the same, never.

So I sat in the what I liked to call  ''The Fun Room''  after they used me as their punching bag again. I was just counting the seconds until they would undo my ties and bring me back to the cell, but it took longer than usual. My gut feeling just got worse when I heard the door open and close and lifted my head to see Eren, tied down to the chair like me.

''Eren?'' 

 

* * *

 

Hurting Eren doesn't seem to satisfy this crazy bastard. So when the door opened I expected a fucking bloodbath but then that wrinkled grape made his entrance and started to spew all kinds of big words, the color leaving Erens face with every sentence. It got quiet for a heartbeat and my mind could finally process the things Dot said. But before the shock set in, Erens laugh cut off each of my thoughts. 

''Haha, yeah, right. Dot, that was amusing but I gotta get back to torture so please keep your jokes for after this.''  And then my mind just shut down. Evey word Eren shouted sounded like it was underwater, not clear, washed and far away. But one thing that I definitely heard was  **PREGNANT**.  The bang of the door being shut brings me back to reality and my eyes wander back up to Eren's face.  His lovely face, which is paler and sunken in from staying in the darkness of the cell for such a long time.

The love of my life is carrying my child. Like, another human being. My flesh and blood.

''E-eren... W-what does h-he mean with t-that?'' My voice cracks with emotions as I try to suppress them, not trying to get my hopes too high up. After all, there were lotta words that I didn't understand so I could have misunderstood. ''I-is there... a child growing inside of you?''   _Oh please be true, this would be the cruelest joke if not._

''Yes... yes. Oh my god, yes there is.'' Eren was crying, sobs wracking his slim frame.  At this, I couldn't help but be relieved for some reason, that it was really true, tears sprang to my eyes and streamed down my face. ''This means... I am... going to be an f-father?'' He just nodded, too choked up for words. That was enough for me. Even if the circumstances were not ideal, it doesn't mean I am not happy that I am going to have a family with Eren. This angel gave me something I couldn't even have dreamed off and I will be forever thankful to him.

But the happy moment didn't last long as Erwin reentered the room, and pressing the knife back to Erens body, actually breaking the soft skin.

''Fuck you'' I had to keep up a facade to protect Eren and the baby, even if it pains every cell in my body. He continuous with his show till it just took a turn for the worse.

''WAI-! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I WILL KILL YOU SON OF A BITCH! I WILL SKIN YOU FUCKING ALIVE YOU DICKASS! GET OVER HERE YOU FUCKFACE!'' I was trying my hardest to break my bounds, just trying to get my hands on this asswipe to choke him into a slow and painful death.

''Levi, feel like talking?'' That rat had the audacity to still smile like it was a stroll in the park. My gaze turns to Eren, checking over his wound and all the blood that is covering his now crimson shirt. I meet his beautiful emerald eyes and he just shakes his head, telling me to keep my mouth shut. The pain of how hard it is that I can't say a word,  to protect him from what they might do if they don't have any use of me anymore, is indescribable.

''...No.''

And so the most painful hour my life began, seeing the person I love getting hurt without doing anything about it. His screams breaking my heart.

 

* * *

 

 

_A fucking stupid idea, why didn't I stop him? They could be hurting him without me there and I wouldn't even know. AGH, this is driving me crazy._

 

The door opened and closed with a slam, Eren thrown inside in a matter of milliseconds. The first thing that I notice is the nasty bruise on his face, swelling and already dark. ''Shit, Eren! What did that bastard-'' but what he held in his hand robbed me of my words. A whistle. The fucking ticket out of here.

''No fucking way.''

 

* * *

 

 

_We love you too._ Those words repeat themselves In my head for the most of the night while holding Eren in my arms. I couldn't be happier in this fucking situation. 

That night I made a promise to myself. That no matter what might happen, Eren and our child will get out of here alive, with or without me.

 


End file.
